Alaska, or some... OTHER... block of ice...

Alaska,

It's pretty, but can I dance to it?

You've given us Jewel... Good for you... Anything else? Anything at all?

No.

Not a thing.

Not a single.

Solitary.

Thing.

Fine. Be that way. You're not going to get the better of me, because I've worked it all out... You've got no musical history, horrid politicians, and way to many dudes with beards, so you know what, I'm trading you, straight up, for Iceland.

That's right, Iceland is now the 49th of the 50 states in the union. Iceland will now be the northernmost frozen wasteland sharing no land border with any other parts of the US... And you know what, They can see Greenland from there...

Iceland, land of Bjork and Bjork's band, The Sugarcubes... Land named to confuse Viking invaders, land that's NOT Alaska...

Unlike Alabama, I DID do a report in high school about Iceland, although, I admit, I mailed it in... The thing had to be a full page long, and I write small, so in order to make A + B = A finished paper, I included the A#1 most important fact about Iceland.

Iceland, being an island, is obviously surrounded on all sides by water.

Now, more fun Iceland facts, From The Wiki...

- Iceland boasts some of the world's highest levels of economic and civil freedoms

- In 2007 Iceland was ranked the most developed country in the world per the UN's Human Development Index

- Icelanders have a rich cultural heritage of cuisine and poetry

- Why didn't we trade for Iceland LONG ago??

- Iceland's capital, and largest city, is Reykjavik, which is Icelandic for 'The Capital of Iceland'

- No, it isn't

- Reykjavik actually translates loosely to 'Smokey Bay'

- Boca Raton, Florida translates quite literally to 'Rat's Mouth'

- A brief history of Icelandic music: The music of Iceland is related to Nordic music forms, and includes vibrant folk and pop traditions, including medieval music group Voces Thules, alternative rock band The Sugarcubes, singers Björk and Emiliana Torrini, and post-rock band Sigur Rós. The only folk band whose recordings are marketed abroad is Islandica.
The national anthem of Iceland is "Lofsöngur", written by Matthías Jochumsson, with music by Sveinbjörn Sveinbjörnsson [1]. The song was written in 1874, when Iceland celebrated the one thousandth anniversary of settlement on the island. It was in the form of a hymn, first published under the title A Hymn in Commemoration of Iceland's Thousand Years.

Now, on to the selections:

Solo Artist: Bjork

She's the most famous person in Iceland, she's been nominated for 15 Grammys, and she's been known to wear swan shaped dresses. There is no better a reason to pick anyone to be on any list, ever. I could have gone with Johann Johannsson, but you'd think I was making that up and stereotyping against the good people of Iceland as some sort of Nordic caricatures, but really, I'm not... The guy is real...

Would I lie to you? Meet Johann Johannsson...

I could go on and on about Bjork, but since I'm picking her as the best solo artist in Iceland I probably shouldn't. To be honest, I don't much care for Bjork beyond her Post album, but Army of Me is a killer song, and if you're ever stuck in traffic and what to act like you're cooler than everybody in the cars around you, put on Hyperballad and crank it to eleven... Then just sit there with a bored look on your face while all the other drivers stare longingly, wishing they could be as Europeanly detached as you...

But watch out for dudes driving F150's sporting Trucknutz, Those guys will kick your ass for listening to Bjork in America...

Band: The Sugar Cubes



You know what, bite me. I didn't phone this in. I looked high and low for other bands from Iceland, and the only other one worth a damn made their way into the Honorable Mention spot because I think they've still got something to prove. If anything, Bjork was the phone in, like I said, I don't really even like her all that much solo, but I DO actually dig The Sugarcubes...

If you enjoy Euro-Pop, and my extensive Icicle Works collection shows I do, than you can't get much more Euro that Birthday. One of many tunes that came to the attention of the greater world's radio audience thanks to British DJ John Peel.

In the states, Birthday hardly made a ripple, but the Cubes did manage a mod-rock chart topper in '91 with the aptly titled Hit. If you answered 'yes' to an enjoyment of Euro-Pop, and can equally answer 'yes' to an enjoyment of all things 1991, than you would keenly-extra-super-wow-enjoy Hit.

I had the pleasure of seeing The Sugarcubes live when they opened for U2 on the Zoo TV tour not long before their 1992 breakup, which likely rosies up the Cubes in my mind, but even adjusting for memorial rock concert hyperbole, you're not likely to find a better group of Icelanders to all play at the same time...

Except Maybe...

Honorable Mention: Sigur Ros
If Sigur Ros was from the UK, or Ireland, or the US, or Australia, or Germany, they would not even begin to get a sniff on a best of list, but there's something to be said for the limitations of Geography. It's not mere happenstance that Iceland is light on world-wide pop music superstars, it's totally understandable that a country as isolated and steeped in the traditions of Scandinavian culture would not produce many artists who can score mass appeal in non-Scandinavian countries.

All the more reason to celebrate those who do.

The music of Sigur Ros is kind of touch to classify... It's kind of like Radiohead, except it's OK that it makes no sense, because they're not speaking English... Or even Icelandic. Much of the music of Sigur Ros is performed in a non-existent language referred to as Vonlenska, in English, often referred to as Hopelandic.

Enjoy Sigur Ros live at MoMA in NYC


Finally, an extra special deserving mention for the only act to come out of Alaska and make any sort of a dent on modern American music,
Jewel Kilcher

Jewel was born in Peyson, Utah, the daughter of....


Ummm... Waitaminute...


Utah?

OK, screw YOU Alaska! That's SO not cool! I'm telling Putin...

No Mr. Bond, I expect you to DIE!

Next: The first state I didn't have to BS my way through... They like their Sun Devily, and their Senators old... Arizona here I come!