Anatomy of The List

I have mentioned before that the Internet in general, and Internet Blogs specifically really only exist for one reason.

Wait… Porn…

OK the Internet in general, and Internet Blogs specifically really only exist for TWO reasons. The OTHER one is we all just want to arbitrarily influence the opinions of complete strangers by subjectively ranking things.

All of us.

All the time.

At least, that’s what I like to convince myself. Otherwise, it’s just ME obsessively compulsing all over the ‘net with reckless abandon. Please, join my on my fools errand, won’t you?

My current, and by far most ambitious ranking project is actually designed to have a purpose beyond artificially inspiring debate in hopes to gain regular readers. This ranking list will serve as a master ranking list for many little sub-lists. Those sub-lists will subsequently be turned into playlists, those playlists will then allow me to listen to the best-of-the-best-of-the-best without having to surf through all the less-than-stellar filler found dotted through the catalogs of even the most talented recording artists. Sorry, Duran Duran, but no one is listening to your debut album for Night Boat to Cairo.

…Waitholdonbackupaminute…
I guess I should explain what The List IS. See. I’m going to systematically dig through my iTunes playlist, and pull out ALL the artists who have over 25 unique separate recordings. Example, a live version of a studio track already counted would not count. A Greatest Hits or ‘Single’ edit version of an album track previously counted would not count. A live recording of a track not available on a studio album, or preferred to a studio version would count, but only if said studio version either does not exist, or isn’t counted. Confused yet? Good, that’s what I was aiming for.

From there, I will rank all the artists based purely on my own subjective ranking system with some caveats. Namely, to land in the top 5, you MUST have a minimum of 100 individual tracks, and to land in the top 10, that minimum requirement is 75. Outside of that, it’s Game On. After all, music appreciation is nothing if not subjective. Otherwise, there is no explanation for Ween.



Once ranked, the top 100 will each get a top-25 track playlist. The top 10 will get a top-50 track playlist, and #1 will get a top-100 track playlist.

To avoid suspense, #1 will be The Beatles, and breaking down their catalog to a Top-100 is a challenge I’ve been putting off for about 20 years, so that’s going to be… Fun? Yeah, we’ll say fun…

The thing is, as I think about this project, I’m finding myself left with more questions than answers. I’m pretty confident in determining a number of qualifying tracks per artist, but where do I draw the line for ‘combining’ artist catalogs? For example, in my opinion, Adam Duritz, Counting Crows, and The Himalayans are all one ‘Artist’ under the main ‘Artist’ category of Counting Crows; however, Sting and The Police are two separate artists. Genesis, Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins, Tony Banks, Mike Rutherford, and Steve Hackett are seven different ‘Artists’, yet Dresden Dolls, Evelyn Evelyn, and Amanda Palmer are all Amanda Palmer to me. Do I case-by-case my decision, or should I institute some theorem to keep consistent? Does it matter?

I run into the same issue when I alphabetize. Do I use the iTunes logic and put 10,000 Maniacs at the end? Do I use standard logic and put 10,000 Maniacs at the beginning? Do I just file it under T for Ten-Thousand Maniacs? If you immediately disregarded option 3, then consider Four Non-Blondes? I file The Beatles under B, omitting the word ‘The’, so where the hell does The The go?

OK, that was a joke, but in all seriousness, the whole when-to-combine issue is a big one. I guess, if the potential combinees could occupy multiple spots on their own merit, then they deserve to be separated accordingly (The Morrissey vs. The Smiths theorem) However, when it takes the combined efforts to make the best potential qualifying catalog (The Amanda Palmer Solution) then combine I shall. Sound good? Good. Suggestions, comment away my dear 'netizens, I cannot confirm I will heed your advice, but I will most assuredly listen.

Now, to begin digging through the 1,400 separate artist listings on my iTunes playlist, determine the qualifiers, and assemble the Top 100…

I’m dropping this post to explain that I’ll check in as I go, and throughout the playlist making process. Also as a sort of trail for the authorities should the overwhelming obsession lead to CSD Julie murdering me and disposing of my body rather than having to listen to me endlessly debate with myself about just which tracks to pull off of the Beach Boys Pet Sounds. By the way, if this is going out posthumously, she dumped me somewhere off of Ortega Highway, and Wouldn’t It Be Nice, God Only Knows, and I Know There’s an Answer and/or Hang On To Your Ego, but I mean, they’re really the same song, right? But that’s kind of the brilliance of the tracks, isn’t it? You kind of need both to really make it work, but taking both kills space for a lot of other great Beach Boys tunes from other records, and I don’t know if I can really afford to take 4 tracks from this one album, even if it is their best work, and I’m already cutting out Sloop John B, and…

Homicide. Justified.

For the record, the 50-state-strategy is still in effect, but seriously, this sounds like a hell of a lot more fun than finding bands from Oklahoma. I’ll get there eventually…

Another Friday & What I'm Listening To

Welcome to another Friday... Just two more weeks of work before I head out to fabulous Las Vegas, NV meaning just 2 weeks and 4 days before I head back west, penniless, trading unspeakable acts for gas money to get home... In actuality, I consider myself a very 'responsible' gambler, if such an oxymoron can exist. I think it stems from the fact that I'm always positive I'm going to lose, so I never have that 'just one more bet and I'll make my money back' mentality. Instead I approach a Blackjack table thinking 'Can I afford to drop this hundred bucks in the next 20 minutes?' Typically the first day or two, that answer is always a hearty 'YES!' Usually by the 3rd day however, it's more like 'Maybe, but not as easily as I could afford to lose this $5 in a nickel slot...'

I typically return freed from whatever cash I had planned to lose, but no more than that, and once in a rare while, I come back with some cash left over, which usually ends up at the outlet mall at State Line... Regardless, a splendid time is guaranteed for all, and this year, CSD Julie and I will be following the trip with a follow up respite in the beautiful Santa Barbara wine country, because a proper Vegas vacation requires a 2nd vacation to recover...

Alas, more on that in the coming weeks. For the time being, I have here-and-now excitement to discuss. I just downloaded some new tunes for the iPod! Granted, this is far more exciting for me than it is for anyone else, but I'm jazzed, and really that's all that matters... Below is a breakdown of the new editions... Alas, there is no New Edition to be found...

• The Cure- The 2004 self titled release from Robert Smith and the boys. I have yet to give it much of a listen, but from what I can tell it holds on to some of the darkness of Bloodflowers without being nearly as ethereal and, I hate to say it, boring... I was not a fan of the prior release, and was concerned when they followed it up with a new Greatest Hits, and then B-Sides collection, that we had heard the last new Cure releases, at least for a good long while. That explains why it's taken me almost 4 years to give this one a shot. Ultimately though, I'm optimistic that this will be a return to some of the great dark quiet albums of the past like Disintegration and The Head on the Door.
• Gyrate- The 1980 release by Athens, GA band Pylon. I did a write up on Athens GA Inside/Out a few days back, and discovered that there were some releases that I was woefully ignorant of. This one coming well before the film was made, is chock full of rocking dance tunes reminiscent of Patti Smith or early Joan Jett... At least, that's what it reminds me of after a cursory listen. Once I've fully digested this one, I'll probably head over the Pylon website and pick up Gyrate Plus! Their 2007 release.
• Little Creatures- This well known Talking Heads album is not one I just purchased. I've actually had it for the better part of a year, and embarrassingly enough, kind of forgot I bought it... I got it right around the same time I got She's Like The Weather by The Himalayans, Adam Durtiz's pre-Counting Crows band, and I've been wearing that CD out, so impressed that anything else I picked up in the same time frame just kind of faded into the background. Anyhow, I've decided that while I'm not ready to remove The Himalayans from my playlist, I should give the Heads a chance to be heard...
• Marquee Moon- Another forgotten purchase of the same week as Little Creatures, Television's Marquee Moon is an album I'd been wanting to buy and listen to for a long time, but kept forgetting about... That makes it all the more sad and shameful that once I did finally buy it, I STILL forgot about it, relegating it to my iTunes playlist, but never dropping it on the the Pod... I've listened to the title track a few times, and really dig the way it seems to melt 80's pop rock with 70's epic prog styling.. A song with a catchy chorus that ALSO runs 11 minutes long? Sign me up!! I guess it's about time to give the rest of the album a shot.
• Runaway Boys: A Retrospective- This 25 track Stray Cats hits collection is the equivalent of a great thriller novel... I know it's not the most 'intellectual' piece out there, but it's enjoyable, it's easy to listen to, and it doesn't require my complete attention. Not to say that Setzer and the boys aren't talented musicians with a story to tell, but the Cats just have a style that works so much better as peppy pop gap fillers than 'sit and listen' music. There's far from anything wrong with that... It's a GOOD thing...
• Shine On- Yesterday's post in which I discuss my horrible addiction to all things both music, and trivia related touched upon a weak spot in my music library. I have been listening to and enjoying Jet's Get Born for a few years now, but had not delved deeper into their catalog. As I mentioned in my comments section, I would have to rectify this concern by giving Shine On a shot. From what I've heard so far, it's not quite as hard edged as a lot of the stuff on Get Born is, although maybe I just haven't caught those tracks yet, I'm shuffling back and forth between about 20 different albums, but the softer songs that have played have definitely held my attention and still had a 'rock song' feel, even with their less-than-pulse-pounding tempo. At this rate I'm going to have to pick up their Dirty Sweet EP that started their career, and wait patiently for their 3rd long play being released some time between now and mid next year...

I'm also still digesting the new Elvis Costello, Momofuku, The Counting Crows Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings, REM's Accelerate, Josh Ritter's The Historical Conquest of Josh Ritter, and right this second I'm listening to perhaps one of the greatest piece of poetry and music ever committed to tape, William Shatner's take on Pulp's 'Common People'. Not only is 'The Shat' driving home the spoken-word power of a rage-against-the-aristocracy anthem, but it also contains the hard edged return of 80's under-rated Brit singer-songwriter Joe Jackson playing a mean axe and adding some vocal harmony to Shat's harshly real deadpan. I know I sound like I'm mocking, but seriously, this track rules... There's an SNL live performance on YouTube that's well worth a watch...

That does it for me. I'll be back Monday with tales of suspense and intrigue from the weekend...

Album of the Year by Decade: The 90's- Part Two (1992 & 1993)

1992: A stellar year for first-effort artists, so the Grammys chose an old guy…
Grammy Winner: Unforgettable…-Natalie Cole

I mean… Unplugged…-Eric Clapton
Grammy Deserver: Little Earthquakes- Tori Amos

So, Yeah… Nat King Cole… ERRR… NATALIE Cole wins a Grammy for singing a duet with her dead father… Props to you Natalie for a job well done. Backup singers everywhere applaud your accomplishments. Now smile, wave, and give your award to somebody who deserves it. Author’s Note: I realize at this point I have been a year off in my Grammy Winners, but I am far too lazy to go back and change the prior post, so I’ll fix it now. Feel free to apply the above write up to the 1991 article, the 1991 write up to the 1990 article, and forget Bonnie Raitt’s Nick of Time ever existed… I know *I* will…

Did I do something wrong?

Onward, to the REAL Grammy selection… Hey! A live greatest hits album by an over the hill solo act! I can’t IMAGINE the Grammys making such an out-of-the-box choice! Anybody who still routinely listens to Eric Clapton’s Unplugged album, please raise your hands… Now is the time where I would chide you to put your hands down because I can’t really see you anyhoo, but I don’t feel the need because I’m THAT certain no one raised their hands anyway… What am I driving at? Roughly this… Music is a passionate experience that leaves not just the artists changed, but the listeners as well. I can’t imagine too many people out there were changed by hearing Eric Clapton sing the same songs he’s already sang, only slower and without the benefit of electric enhancement… This is why I have chosen an album that DID change listeners, at least one anyway, namely me…

I am fully aware that Tori is not everyone’s cup of tea, and for that, I recognize that this is a thoroughly self-indulgent replacement choice. I have my reasons. Most importantly, it was this album that lead me to accept that not all female singers had to be Whitney Houston clones, building a rep more on ridiculous vocal gyrations rather than insightful lyrics and a well heeled piano. Sure, there were others before Tori who revolutionized the genre of female singer songwriter, (props to Carol King & Joni Mitchell) but so much of the music was about the empowerment of women that it is difficult for a non-woman to accept. Especially a 14 year old boy. I admit, it took years of listening to this album to 'get it', and if I were to write this with my ‘It’s 1992 Time-Travel Boots’ on, I would likely have gone with REM’s Automatic for the People, which still holds up as a great rock album, but did not revolutionize the way I listen to music the way that Tori’s Little Earthquakes did. This is why I call this choice self indulgent, but still justified.

Other releases of note: Kerplunk- Green Day; Hormonally Yours- Shakespeare’s Sister; Honey’s Dead- The Jesus and Mary Chain; Apollo 18- They Might Be Giants; Check Your Head- The Beastie Boys; Wish- The Cure; It’s a Shame About Ray- The Lemonheads; Images and Words- Dream Theater; Psalm 69- Ministry; Your Arsenal- Morrissey; Gordon- Bare Naked Ladies; Welcome to Wherever You Are- INXS; Bone Machine- Tom Waits; Money- KMFDM; Broken (EP)- Nine Inch Nails; Us- Peter Gabriel; Core- Stone Temple Pilots; Automatic for the People- REM; Ignition- Offspring; Fixed (EP)- Nine Inch Nails; 40 Oz. To Freedom- Sublime

Many good albums who's performers were still living at the time of recording, and had not previously released the same material with different instruments... Hint, hint Grammys...

Nancy! Get ma a Grammy!

1993- If a better year for music exists, it didn’t happen in the 90’s.
Grammy Winner: The Bodyguard: Original Soundtrack- Various ‘Artists’
Grammy Deserver: August and Everything After- Counting Crows

First and foremost, let me just get this out of the way. There are a handful of soundtrack albums that I hugely enjoy… The Crow, So I Married an Axe Murderer, The Wedding Singer, I’m sure there’s more, but I would never, EVER expect one of these recording to be considered for a Grammy… Even if the tracks are originals, not released elsewhere, they are still not ALBUMS, they are SOUNDTRACKS… That being said, even within the genre of soundtracks, The Bodyguard soundtrack was like a really bad dog fart… You couldn’t escape it, no matter where you went, but soon enough it had dissipated, seemingly into thin air, and no one ever spoke of it again…

Sit Ubu Sit... DUDE!! I said SIT...

Now, to explain my personal affection for 1993. It’s highly possible that my view is skewed by my INVOLVEMENT in music in 1993. This was the first year I listened to more current music than older music. The first year I laid awake at night listening to the radio. The first year I would press play on a blank cassette when I’d leave for school so I could hear the next 60 minutes of music on KROQ as soon as I got home at the end of the day. Looking back however, this WAS a damn good time to be a music fan… Grunge was at it’s peak and still going strong with the release of Pearl Jam’s Vs. album, making up for the disappointment of Nirvana’s In Utero. That’s right, I didn’t enjoy it at the time, and I still don’t now. Fire your rotted eggs at will, the wonders of Cyberspace shall protect me… In addition to Grunge rocking the socks of listeners around the globe, women everywhere began picking up guitars, and much of the music created was highly listenable… Liz Phair’s Exile In Guyville is an album everyone should have in their collection, as is Belly’s Star, and The Breeders’ Last Splash. In addition the Mazzy Star and Letters To Cleo efforts still hold up well also if you’re looking for some more 90’s nostalgia.

Wow, female empowerment is PROFITABLE!

1993 also signaled the beginning of what would follow in the wake of the Grunge wave, neo-punk. Rancid’s self titled album is the most cohesive example of this trend, and for much of the country, 1994 was the year punk stared showing up on the airwaves again, but much of this new punk was formed right here in sunny Orange County, and 1993 was the beginning of a new revolution, that to this day can still be seen in artists like Jet and Fall Out Boy. So Grunge, Punk, and ‘Chick Rock’ were all hitting their stride, while 80’s artists were still turning out good material like Tears for Fears (in the form of just Roland Orzbal) releasing Elemental, Duran Duran’s 2nd self titled effort, this one dubbed ‘The Wedding Album’, Elvis Costello teaming with a classical string quartet on his rendition of a Shakespeare classic, The Juliet Letters, and even former Beatle Paul McCartney showed he still had a good pop album in him with Off The Ground. Add in some auspicious ‘coming of age’ pieces like Radiohead’s Pablo Honey, and The Cranberries Everybody Else Is Doing It So Why Can’t We?

Anyhow, onward to the star of this show. Few recordings have held as much impact on my musical upbringing as the first Counting Crows album, August and Everything After. This album creates, perfects, and in so doing destroys an entire genre of music I like to call California Roots Rock. More mellow that it’s southern rock forefathers, and more mainstream that typical Alternative records, you could lump it into the catch all of ‘Adult Contemporary’ or ‘Adult Alternative’ but that’s not only a cop out, it defeats the purpose of boxing music into a specific genre, which is one of many beautiful things about this album. From the opening riff of the deeply hypnotic Round Here, through the reflections of home tint of Omaha, to the pop-rock flavored first single Mr. Jones you’re three songs into the whole and realize that you’re miles away from where you started. Moving forward through the recording the tone winds it’s way back closer to Round Here’s starting melancholy until track 7, Rain King, where we’re given a view of the world that’s both forlorn and at once content. The album continues in that vein until we realize by the end notes of A Murder Of One that we’re right back where we started, with the girl in the car in the parking lot convincing us to take a shot… Like no recording before it, AAEA reminds all of us twistedly depressed losers in love that we are not alone, and somehow, that’s enough to move on. So much so that unlike other songs of hurt and frustration, the tunes resonate in happy times as well as sad, as a subtle reminder of all we have gained, and everything we stand to lose if we rebuild those walls the Crows tore down… For this reason, if not a single other piece of music had been recorded in 1993, it would still have been the most important year of my life musically, and that’s worth more than a countdown spot on a list…

Other releases of note (many mentioned above): The Juliet Letters- Elvis Costello & The Brodsky Quartet; Off The Ground- Paul McCartney; Star- Belly; Pablo Honey- Radiohead; Duran Duran (The Wedding Album)- Duran Duran; Everybody Else Is Doing It, So Why Can’t We?- The Cranberries; Songs of Faith & Devotion- Depeche Mode; Undertow- Tool; Get a Grip- Aerosmith; Porno for Pyros- Porno for Pyros; Republic- New Order; Modern Life Is Rubbish- Blur; Rancid- Rancid; Hints, Allegations, and Things Left Unsaid- Collective Soul; Exile in Guyville- Liz Phair; Elemental- Tears for Fears; Zooropa- U2; Candlebox- Candlebox; Siamese Dream- The Smashing Pumpkins; Tuesday Night Music Club- Sheryl Crow; River of Dreams- Billy Joel; Bloody Kisses- Type O Negative; Kerosene Hat- Cracker; Last Splash- The Breeders; Bat Out Of Hell II: Back Into Hell- Meatloaf; Recipe For Hate- Bad Religion; Concentration- Machines of Loving Grace; In Utero- Nirvana; Laid- James; So Tonight That I Might See- Mazzy Star; God Shuffled His Feet- Crash Test Dummies; Aurora Gory Alice- Letters To Cleo; Vs.- Pearl Jam.

So what have we learned?

1. I’m lame and can’t count backward


2. I like chick rock


3. ‘Soundtracks’ and ‘Albums’ are NOT the same thing


4. Everything worth knowing happened in 1993


5. If you’re not either listening to, or DL’ing a copy of August and Everything After RIGHT NOW you are hopelessly devoid of all feelings.

Next installment forthcoming, for now I must reminisce in the warm soothing glow of 1993… I wonder if I remember the password to my Prodigy account? I may need to sign up for AOL...

OH the horror...