North Dakota: Land of... well... Land I guess...

So we're going to do this one in the opposite order, because no one worth writing about musically is from North Dakota.

We'll start with the artists, give them pictures, and links to their Wikipedia pages, but I'm not going to try and convince anybody that I actually care about any of these folks, or that I consider them 'Artists'. Admittedly, I've actually found new artists I would not have previously listened to were it not for this set of posts, but as far as North Dakota is concerned however, I don't see that happening.

I'm also going to use the term 'band' loosely... And by loosely, I mean, I'm just going to name a person instead. If you have an issue with that decision, please feel free to send me some sort of fee so I can in turn send it back with my sincere apologies...

Solo: Peggy Lee
Peggy Lee sang a lot of standards, and even wrote a few songs. Most noteworthy, she penned the tunes from the Disney animated feature Lady and the Tramp, and provided vocals for four of the characters.

I believe that means there are more animated Disney characters voiced by North Dakotans then there are ACTUAL North Dakotans.

As Rock n' Roll began to dominate the airwaves in the 50's and 60's, Peggy Lee began to cover songs by the hit artists of the day like The Beatles, Randy Newman, Carole King, and James Taylor. If you've ever contemplated bulimia, but can't get past the whole 'finger down the throat' part, this may be a good place to start...

Honestly, I have no more to say about Ms. Lee. I simply wanted to fill enough space to make the artist pictures work well on the blog...

Band: Lawrence Welk
Polka your eyes out, folks! At least now you know which of the states in our great nation is to blame for the cultural experiment that is Lawrence Welk.

Most people who are in any way familiar with Welk, and specifically his odd speaking style, would likely be surprised to learn he was born in the United States.

The reason for his very eastern European sounding speech is that he was born to a family who spoke German, and first learned English in grade school from teachers with Russian accents. Apparently when you cross Russian-accented-English with a native German speaker, you get Lawrence Welk.

Welk was also married for 61 years. Good on you Mr. Welk! More impressively, great job Mrs. Welk... I can't fathom 61 years of accordion...

(Dis)Honorable Mention: Bobby Vee

I have nothing against Bobby Vee, but seriously, there's nothing honorable about his mention. He's mentioned because he's from North Dakota.

He had a #1 hit with 'Take Good Care of My Baby', and his career began in a morbid fashion, filling in for Buddy Holly at a concert in Moorhead, Minnesota the day after Holly died with The Big Bopper and Richie Valens in a plane crash.

Interesting? Most certainly. Influential, not so much.

Bobby still tours internationally, just going to show that one hit and a string of filler tunes can set you up with a career for life if you play your cards right. Add to that a life that began in North Dakota, and you'll even get a snark-filled write up in some random dude's blog. Way to go, Mr. Vee!

OK, now that we've dispensed with those useless pleasantries, I give you the great state of North Dakota, all 6th grade Social Studies style...

North Dakota is to the north of South Dakota and it's really, really, really, really, really, empty.

Is that 100 words yet?

Oh, wait... I'm writing this LIKE a 6th grade social studies report, not FOR a 6th grade social studies report... Let's try this again...

North Dakota is a land of bemusement and frigidity, where hopes and dreams hibernate under a perpetual blanket of snow. I'm sure there are two or three days a year where the temperature creeps above the freezing point, and round about mid-August, there's probably some light snow thaw. I'm guessing that's when the bugs arrive, and terrorize the scant community for two to three weeks before the winds start to blow in from the north, causing said bugs to freeze in mid air, and drop to the ground with no regard for the 7 or 8 state residents who may be standing under them.

Seriously. Why do people still live in North Dakota? DO people still live in North Dakota? Isn't that just the place where the 40 people in Montana dump their trash?

Man, from the vitriol, you'd think North Dakota killed my whole family, leaving me to fend for myself in a harsh world that doesn't like my circus acrobat kind... You'd be under the impression North Dakota led me to engaging in a fist fight in Acapulco with a famous cliff diver. You'd think North Dakota bore in me such great feelings of guilt that *I* in turn would have to cliff dive in place of the person I beat up...

Yes, from my great words of disdain, you'd think North Dakota was the villain in Elvis Presley's Fun in Acapulco...

Alas, North Dakota isn't that interesting. It's just a big hunk of land. A big hunk of land that could very easily be merged with South Dakota to make one big useless state of Dakota... Wait now, before you go all 'But then we'd have to change the flag!!' on me, we could totally split California instead. That sure would have made THAT post an easier one...

Wikipedia tells me that North Dakota is the 19th largest state by land mass, and the 3rd least populous. As a matter of fact, North Dakota has less people than Orange County, California.

The city of Los Angeles has more residents than North Dakota.

NINETEEN cities in this country have more residents than North Dakota...

Indianapolis...

Jacksonville, Florida...

Columbus Frickin' Ohio...

Memphis, Tennessee's mayor AC Wharton, influences more lives than does John Hoeven, governor of North Dakota, but the dude has a hell of a soup strainer...

Speaking of Memphis mayor AC Wharton, he just assumed the office TODAY (October 26th, 2009) after winning a special election on 10/15. Congrat's mayor Wharton, you are now more politically powerful than John Hoeven.

Sorry, Governor Hoeven, I just tell it like it is...

North Dakota has got to be a great place to get yourself some reasonably priced real estate. The state's population has been declining consistently since 1990, and even more surprising, has actually declined from it's highest point, which occurred in 1930...

Seriously. There are less people in North Dakota NOW then there was in NINETEEN-THIRTY.

In comparison, the population of the US has increased by 228% since 1930. The population of North Dakota has decreased by 6%.

North Dakota's largest city, Fargo, best known for having a Coen brothers film named after it, sports the motto 'Gateway to the West'.

Missouri's St. Louis, some 800 miles south along I29, disagrees. They've even got a big arch that says so.

May I suggest that Fargo change it's motto to 'The Gateway to 1,00 Miles of Nothing'.

Perhaps that's why I don't have a PR job...

You know, I think that'll just about do it. If you'd like to know more about the state of North Dakota, I encourage you to do so. Give it another 15 or 20 minutes of solid research, and you could even be the world's foremost scholar on North Dakota's history. Wouldn't THAT be something...

Next up, we'll visit the home of the GIGANTIC city of Columbus. Watch out for Ohio...