What's really to say? Illinois has Chicago, Michigan has Detroit, Ohio has Cincinnati and Cleveland and you have... Well... A big friggen' race track.
If I didn't own a map, and didn't have an odd compulsion to stare at it endlessly because I have an addiction to knowing where things are in relation to other things, I would assume that Indiana was wedged someplace between Nebraska and Kansas, but no, It's on the east side of the mid-west, as close to Pennsylvania and New York as it is to the great plains states. Still, Indiana has a down home reputation that extends to it's music, with the rare exceptions needing to leave the state in order to become famous.
Before moving on to the music, we owe Indiana our undivided attention and sincere desire to learn about it's past, present, and future... Or we at least need to cherry pick some Wikipedia facts we can subsequently make fun of...
- Indiana is the smallest contiguous state west of the Appalachian Mountains
- Yes, Hawaii is west of the Appalachian Mountains.
- dictionary.com will be happy to explain the definition of contiguous
- Indiana has two professional sports franchises, pissing of their southern neighbors, Kentucky, since they've got a bigger state.
- Good luck trying to pull off a 'Gettin' Lucky in Indiana' tee shirt though...
- The state's name means 'Land of the Indians'. In... some language where you just put 'a' behind whatever you want the word to refer to...
- Residents of Indiana are known as Hoosiers. All sorts of people will try and tell you why, but they're all pretty much just making shit up. Nobody really knows why they call themselves Hoosiers.
- I theorize that the name derived from Indiana residents' collective love of socks and other assorted forms of hoseiry. As the term 'Hoser'
was already known as derogatory in nearby Canada, they adapted the term to Hoosier to properly convey their love for foot coverings without being mocked by residents of The Great White North.- The other option was Shooziers.
- Notre Dame University is located in the state of Indiana, in the city of South Bend. In recent years, Notre Dame has been known as an excellent place to practice the game of Football without fear of ever being beaten by the local team.
- Indiana University's main campus is located in the southern portion of the state, in the city of Bloomington. Historically Indiana University is known as an excellent place to play the game of Basketball if you would also like to hone your skills in dodging chairs thrown by an irate head coach.
- Since September of 2000 opposing teams, referees, and furniture have been able to enter the gym at IU without fear. They now have to watch out at Texas Tech...
- Professional basketball player Larry Bird is considered one of the most famous Hoosiers and will gladly make ridiculously difficult shots off of foreign objects if you promise to buy him a Bic Mac.
- Other famous Hoosiers include David Letterman, Don Mattingly, Steve McQueen, Fuzzy Zoeller, and Orville Redenbacher.
- If you need a talk show hosted, a first baseman for your softball team, a spectral figure to rescue you from a towering inferno, a golf instructor, or a ghost to make you popcorn than Indiana is a one stop shop.
- If you do not have time to wait for a spectral figure to rescue you from said inferno, simply wrap a towel around your head.
- Perhaps some of the well known citizens below could help us figure out why they want us to call them Hoosiers...
The Selections:
Solo Artist: Michael Jackson
King of pop, Thriller, adorable little lead singer of The Jackson Five, owns a monkey, was singularly responsible for the existence of both Cameo and Rockwell, made Jermaine Jackson relevant, couldn't keep Latoya Jackson from being creepy, ended up even creepier than Latoya, blah, blah, blah...
If you exist, you likely know why I had no choice but to select Michael Jackson. As a matter of fact, it wasn't even MY choice... You see, if you attempt to create a blog post featuring the word Indiana, than by blog-law, there MUST be some mention of Michael Jackson.
And I mean law like 'gravity', not law like 'don't kill people'... This is one of those you-can't-break-it-even-if-you-want-to laws. There's no getting around this one...
Ummm... I think I just said I want to kill people... That's not quite where I was going with this, but I guess if the cat's out of the bag...
No, no... I don't want to kill anybody, because they'd likely come back and try and eat my brains... Just like...
Wait for it...
MICHAEL JACKSON in the Thriller video!!
Behold, The Funk of 40,000 Years...
Band: Guns N' Roses
So Gn'R is a definitive LA area band. No doubt about it...
BUT...
The lead songwriters and co-founders of the band, Axl Rose and Izzy Stradlin actually met and formed their first garage band in Lafayette, Indiana while in high school. That, combined with a complete lack of bands getting together in Indiana, gives them the cred needed to claim the state as their own.
The formation of Guns n' Roses was interesting, then they were well known, then they disappeared, and now they have reemerged, not only bringing smiles to the faces of a legion of devoted followers, but also re-stoking the flames of hope deep in the hearts of those holding out for a Mr. Big reunion... (Seriously, every other hair metal band has ALREADY gotten back together... RATT, Winger, Faster Pussycat, Damn Yankees, Motley Crue, Def Leppard... I had to scroll through my 'Monster Ballads' collection to find a band that HADN'T already reunited. Why do we KEEP BUYING this crap??)
Of Note: If you type in 'Guns n Fuckin Roses' on Wikipedia, you'll be redirected to the official band page.
In defense of GnR, They haven't so much 'gotten back together' as Axl continues to use the name and surround himself with new musicians. Guns has had 14 different lineups throughout it's touring and recording career, despite having released just six studio albums. The only constant being front man Axl Rose. Oddly enough, Tracii Guns, one half of the band's name, didn't even last long enough to make it on the debut smash Appetite for Destruction.
So a quick history... LA Guns and Hollywood Rose got together in a club, got drunk, and formed Gun & Roses. Before even playing a gig, Tracii Guns and Ole Beich left the newly formed GnR to reform the prior LA Guns. Guns was replaced by Slash, they toured, the recorded, they made Appetite, GNR Lies, Use Your Illusion I, Use Your Illusion II, and The Spaghetti Incident. Initial writing and recording on the sixth album, Chinese Democracy began. In 1994. Slash left the band. GnR released the track 'Oh My God' on the End of Days soundtrack with Dave Navarro taking over for Slash. Writing and recording on Chinese Democracy continued. In 1999. Yet another new Guns lineup emerged in 2001 on a world tour. Writing and recording on Chinese Democracy continued . The tour was cut short in 2002 when Axl stopped showing up for live shows. Chinese Democracy was officially dead when the band went on hiatus.
On November 23rd, 2008, Chinese Democracy was finally released, prompting the Dr. Pepper company to release coupons on it's website offering a free Dr. Pepper to all due to the fact the album was FINALLY released... Well, all BUT former band members Slash and Buckethead.
Chinese Democracy has been met with decent, but lower than expected sales, and little to no critical buzz. I'm yet to buy the album, and I buy a lot of music... That likely says something about the public yearning for a new Guns n' Roses album.
Here's OLD Guns, performing Paradise City...
Honorable Mention: John
The Hoosier of a thousand names... Is he or ISN'T he 'Cougar'?? The world may never know.
John Johnny Cougar NOT Cougar Mellencamp NOT Mellencamp is a perfect example, for me, of a Greatest Hits artist. Like Bruce Springsteen, Bryan Adams, Heart, Sheryl Crow, et. all, the releases are pretty much good enough for me. Any more acoustic values of the heartland would likely lead me to throw myself off the nearest bridge.
I think that says more about me than it does about John/Johnny...
Props however to
Even if it was a small town.
Next we stay in the Midwest, hopping to the other side of Illinois to revel in all things Iowa... Including MAYBE a musician or two... Hopefully even THREE...
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