Just so you know...

I'm finally listening to Measure for Measure by Icehouse which I bought on vinyl a few weeks back from eBay, and surprisingly, it's really very good... I was expecting a few listenable tracks surrounded by a lot of typical 80's pop-filler, and don't get me wrong, this album was definitely recorded in the 80's, and it's definitely a pop record. There's more than enough synthesizer to give THAT away, but it doesn't have the wasted tracks that a lot of other synth-pop artists threw on their records. I'm honestly a little surprised, considering the strength of the album, that Icehouse didn't make it out of the 80's the way Depeche Mode or (to some degree) Duran Duran did.

If you're a fan of the 80's and find yourself looking for some different synth-pop tunes to round out your catalog, give this one a listen!

More Grammy Bashing tonight!

The 1994 and 1995 entry is shaping up to be a doozy, complete with begrudging acceptance of a Grammy winner... Come on back tonight to see the blind squirrels at the Grammys find a nut...

Album of the Year by Decade: The 90's- Part Two (1992 & 1993)

1992: A stellar year for first-effort artists, so the Grammys chose an old guy…
Grammy Winner: Unforgettable…-Natalie Cole

I mean… Unplugged…-Eric Clapton
Grammy Deserver: Little Earthquakes- Tori Amos

So, Yeah… Nat King Cole… ERRR… NATALIE Cole wins a Grammy for singing a duet with her dead father… Props to you Natalie for a job well done. Backup singers everywhere applaud your accomplishments. Now smile, wave, and give your award to somebody who deserves it. Author’s Note: I realize at this point I have been a year off in my Grammy Winners, but I am far too lazy to go back and change the prior post, so I’ll fix it now. Feel free to apply the above write up to the 1991 article, the 1991 write up to the 1990 article, and forget Bonnie Raitt’s Nick of Time ever existed… I know *I* will…

Did I do something wrong?

Onward, to the REAL Grammy selection… Hey! A live greatest hits album by an over the hill solo act! I can’t IMAGINE the Grammys making such an out-of-the-box choice! Anybody who still routinely listens to Eric Clapton’s Unplugged album, please raise your hands… Now is the time where I would chide you to put your hands down because I can’t really see you anyhoo, but I don’t feel the need because I’m THAT certain no one raised their hands anyway… What am I driving at? Roughly this… Music is a passionate experience that leaves not just the artists changed, but the listeners as well. I can’t imagine too many people out there were changed by hearing Eric Clapton sing the same songs he’s already sang, only slower and without the benefit of electric enhancement… This is why I have chosen an album that DID change listeners, at least one anyway, namely me…

I am fully aware that Tori is not everyone’s cup of tea, and for that, I recognize that this is a thoroughly self-indulgent replacement choice. I have my reasons. Most importantly, it was this album that lead me to accept that not all female singers had to be Whitney Houston clones, building a rep more on ridiculous vocal gyrations rather than insightful lyrics and a well heeled piano. Sure, there were others before Tori who revolutionized the genre of female singer songwriter, (props to Carol King & Joni Mitchell) but so much of the music was about the empowerment of women that it is difficult for a non-woman to accept. Especially a 14 year old boy. I admit, it took years of listening to this album to 'get it', and if I were to write this with my ‘It’s 1992 Time-Travel Boots’ on, I would likely have gone with REM’s Automatic for the People, which still holds up as a great rock album, but did not revolutionize the way I listen to music the way that Tori’s Little Earthquakes did. This is why I call this choice self indulgent, but still justified.

Other releases of note: Kerplunk- Green Day; Hormonally Yours- Shakespeare’s Sister; Honey’s Dead- The Jesus and Mary Chain; Apollo 18- They Might Be Giants; Check Your Head- The Beastie Boys; Wish- The Cure; It’s a Shame About Ray- The Lemonheads; Images and Words- Dream Theater; Psalm 69- Ministry; Your Arsenal- Morrissey; Gordon- Bare Naked Ladies; Welcome to Wherever You Are- INXS; Bone Machine- Tom Waits; Money- KMFDM; Broken (EP)- Nine Inch Nails; Us- Peter Gabriel; Core- Stone Temple Pilots; Automatic for the People- REM; Ignition- Offspring; Fixed (EP)- Nine Inch Nails; 40 Oz. To Freedom- Sublime

Many good albums who's performers were still living at the time of recording, and had not previously released the same material with different instruments... Hint, hint Grammys...

Nancy! Get ma a Grammy!

1993- If a better year for music exists, it didn’t happen in the 90’s.
Grammy Winner: The Bodyguard: Original Soundtrack- Various ‘Artists’
Grammy Deserver: August and Everything After- Counting Crows

First and foremost, let me just get this out of the way. There are a handful of soundtrack albums that I hugely enjoy… The Crow, So I Married an Axe Murderer, The Wedding Singer, I’m sure there’s more, but I would never, EVER expect one of these recording to be considered for a Grammy… Even if the tracks are originals, not released elsewhere, they are still not ALBUMS, they are SOUNDTRACKS… That being said, even within the genre of soundtracks, The Bodyguard soundtrack was like a really bad dog fart… You couldn’t escape it, no matter where you went, but soon enough it had dissipated, seemingly into thin air, and no one ever spoke of it again…

Sit Ubu Sit... DUDE!! I said SIT...

Now, to explain my personal affection for 1993. It’s highly possible that my view is skewed by my INVOLVEMENT in music in 1993. This was the first year I listened to more current music than older music. The first year I laid awake at night listening to the radio. The first year I would press play on a blank cassette when I’d leave for school so I could hear the next 60 minutes of music on KROQ as soon as I got home at the end of the day. Looking back however, this WAS a damn good time to be a music fan… Grunge was at it’s peak and still going strong with the release of Pearl Jam’s Vs. album, making up for the disappointment of Nirvana’s In Utero. That’s right, I didn’t enjoy it at the time, and I still don’t now. Fire your rotted eggs at will, the wonders of Cyberspace shall protect me… In addition to Grunge rocking the socks of listeners around the globe, women everywhere began picking up guitars, and much of the music created was highly listenable… Liz Phair’s Exile In Guyville is an album everyone should have in their collection, as is Belly’s Star, and The Breeders’ Last Splash. In addition the Mazzy Star and Letters To Cleo efforts still hold up well also if you’re looking for some more 90’s nostalgia.

Wow, female empowerment is PROFITABLE!

1993 also signaled the beginning of what would follow in the wake of the Grunge wave, neo-punk. Rancid’s self titled album is the most cohesive example of this trend, and for much of the country, 1994 was the year punk stared showing up on the airwaves again, but much of this new punk was formed right here in sunny Orange County, and 1993 was the beginning of a new revolution, that to this day can still be seen in artists like Jet and Fall Out Boy. So Grunge, Punk, and ‘Chick Rock’ were all hitting their stride, while 80’s artists were still turning out good material like Tears for Fears (in the form of just Roland Orzbal) releasing Elemental, Duran Duran’s 2nd self titled effort, this one dubbed ‘The Wedding Album’, Elvis Costello teaming with a classical string quartet on his rendition of a Shakespeare classic, The Juliet Letters, and even former Beatle Paul McCartney showed he still had a good pop album in him with Off The Ground. Add in some auspicious ‘coming of age’ pieces like Radiohead’s Pablo Honey, and The Cranberries Everybody Else Is Doing It So Why Can’t We?

Anyhow, onward to the star of this show. Few recordings have held as much impact on my musical upbringing as the first Counting Crows album, August and Everything After. This album creates, perfects, and in so doing destroys an entire genre of music I like to call California Roots Rock. More mellow that it’s southern rock forefathers, and more mainstream that typical Alternative records, you could lump it into the catch all of ‘Adult Contemporary’ or ‘Adult Alternative’ but that’s not only a cop out, it defeats the purpose of boxing music into a specific genre, which is one of many beautiful things about this album. From the opening riff of the deeply hypnotic Round Here, through the reflections of home tint of Omaha, to the pop-rock flavored first single Mr. Jones you’re three songs into the whole and realize that you’re miles away from where you started. Moving forward through the recording the tone winds it’s way back closer to Round Here’s starting melancholy until track 7, Rain King, where we’re given a view of the world that’s both forlorn and at once content. The album continues in that vein until we realize by the end notes of A Murder Of One that we’re right back where we started, with the girl in the car in the parking lot convincing us to take a shot… Like no recording before it, AAEA reminds all of us twistedly depressed losers in love that we are not alone, and somehow, that’s enough to move on. So much so that unlike other songs of hurt and frustration, the tunes resonate in happy times as well as sad, as a subtle reminder of all we have gained, and everything we stand to lose if we rebuild those walls the Crows tore down… For this reason, if not a single other piece of music had been recorded in 1993, it would still have been the most important year of my life musically, and that’s worth more than a countdown spot on a list…

Other releases of note (many mentioned above): The Juliet Letters- Elvis Costello & The Brodsky Quartet; Off The Ground- Paul McCartney; Star- Belly; Pablo Honey- Radiohead; Duran Duran (The Wedding Album)- Duran Duran; Everybody Else Is Doing It, So Why Can’t We?- The Cranberries; Songs of Faith & Devotion- Depeche Mode; Undertow- Tool; Get a Grip- Aerosmith; Porno for Pyros- Porno for Pyros; Republic- New Order; Modern Life Is Rubbish- Blur; Rancid- Rancid; Hints, Allegations, and Things Left Unsaid- Collective Soul; Exile in Guyville- Liz Phair; Elemental- Tears for Fears; Zooropa- U2; Candlebox- Candlebox; Siamese Dream- The Smashing Pumpkins; Tuesday Night Music Club- Sheryl Crow; River of Dreams- Billy Joel; Bloody Kisses- Type O Negative; Kerosene Hat- Cracker; Last Splash- The Breeders; Bat Out Of Hell II: Back Into Hell- Meatloaf; Recipe For Hate- Bad Religion; Concentration- Machines of Loving Grace; In Utero- Nirvana; Laid- James; So Tonight That I Might See- Mazzy Star; God Shuffled His Feet- Crash Test Dummies; Aurora Gory Alice- Letters To Cleo; Vs.- Pearl Jam.

So what have we learned?

1. I’m lame and can’t count backward


2. I like chick rock


3. ‘Soundtracks’ and ‘Albums’ are NOT the same thing


4. Everything worth knowing happened in 1993


5. If you’re not either listening to, or DL’ing a copy of August and Everything After RIGHT NOW you are hopelessly devoid of all feelings.

Next installment forthcoming, for now I must reminisce in the warm soothing glow of 1993… I wonder if I remember the password to my Prodigy account? I may need to sign up for AOL...

OH the horror...

Momofuku

Not sure how I missed this, but Elvis Costello just released a new album last month... Good job Lost Highway of giving your artists some pub...

It's on sale at Amazon for $10... Do yourself a favor and hop on the Costello train... You won't be disappointed...

http://www.amazon.com/Momofuku-Elvis-Costello-Imposters/dp/B0016KHAY2

Albums of the Year- By Decade: The 90's edition part I (1990 & 1991)

If there's one thing thousands and thousands of years of human interaction has taught us, it is that people, in general, tend to disagree about things. We disagree about racial equality, we disagree about religious beliefs, politics, proper diet, the best places to live, the best places to visit, the best and worst movies, music, television, etcetera... One thing however, that even the Israelis and Palestinians can agree on is that The Grammys suck.

So there's a SCIENCE to picking the wrong albums?

As a greater society of human beings by and large, we should channel that warm and fuzzy sense of camaraderie into something far greater. I mean, if we can all agree, regardless of socio-economic, political, or religious differences that Nick of Time by Bonnie Raitt was not ACTUALLY the best album released in 1990, than think of the other things we could potentially agree on. I don't mean to imply a false sense of importance on this, a silly blog post, but it's very possible that this could be the single most important thing you EVER read... More likely it's just a slightly about nauseating way to kill 10 minutes or so

With this, I shall defiantly spit directly into a headwind, and proclaim my OWN best albums of the year, with a small write up as to why they should be considered for the award. By rights, I could do a full length treatise on any of these albums, but I find it's far more fulfilling to devote an entire post to an album that at least partially sucks... Things that are purely enjoyable on a non-ironic level tend to also be boring to satirize... Hence why Mystery Science Theater 3000 never devoted an episode to Citizen Kane, and why there is more than one Internet write up of Deadly Friend.

Heads Up!

OK, we've got a lot to cover, so without further ado, the list...

1990: A Great Year for music, a despicable year for awards…
Grammy Winner- Nick of Time by Bonnie Raitt,
Grammy Deserver- Violator-Depeche Mode

Hindsight is twenty-twenty. I am the first to admit it, but that had nothing to do with why Violator wasn't even a nominee for the 1990 Grammy for album of the year. It took little to no foresight to see that this record was far superior both in style, substance, and overall enjoyment than not only Bonnie Raitt's Nick of Time, but than any or the albums even nominated for the category. This is one of the top 10 albums ever, in the history of recorded human voice, so the fact that it was left off the nominees list in addition to receiving the award is as laughable as it is heart breaking... This is a perfect example of why people do not hold Grammy viewing parties the way they do for the Oscars...

In my opinion, which for the purposes of this blog, are the only opinions that matter, the merits of Violator are not debatable. Tracks include DM classics Enjoy the Silence, Personal Jesus, Policy of Truth, World in My Eyes, and one of the greatest album tracks ever recorded anywhere, Halo. Rolling Stone ranked Violator the 342nd greatest album of all time on their top 500 list. Good for them by at least recognizing the album’s existence, but it should be far higher on the list… about 300 spots higher.

Honorable mention: Flood-They Might Be Giants; Gold Afternoon Fix-The Church; Bloodletting-Concrete Blonde; Goo-Sonic Youth; Heaven or Las Vegas- Cocteau Twins; X-INXS; Too Dark Park-Skinny Puppy; Bossanova- The Pixies. None of these albums were nominees for the Grammy. One album that WAS nominated, and should have won (from the group to chose from) was Tom Petty’s Full Moon Fever… Raitt’s NoT didn’t include a SINGLE song about zombies, and Petty’s did… ‘Nuff said…

Which way to the zoo?

1991: #2 year of the decade behind 1993, and the birth of grunge
Grammy Winner: Back on the Block by Quincy Jones
Grammy Deserver: Nevermind by Nirvana

I am not the world’s biggest Nirvana fan by any stretch of the imagination, but there is only one phrase that sums up this decision… ‘Are you fucking KIDDING me?’ The Quincy Jones pick was obviously based on a body of work as opposed to this specific album. Hey Grammys! That’s why they have Lifetime Achievement Awards. The word travesty is bandied about far too often, especially when disagreeing with award picks, but this pick was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, a travesty…

As far as a write up of Nevermind, there are better write ups out there. All I can say is the album was influential, and highly revolutionized music as we know it. Instead, I’ll write up MY favorite album of the year, U2’s Achtung Baby. This is easily one of my top 25 albums and is nothing but great from track 1 to track 12. The album spawned 5 releases in the US from October of 1991 through August of 1992, and launched one of the most interactive big-venue rock shows in history, the Zoo TV tour. Rolling Stone dropped it into the 62nd spot on their top 500, and part of me wants to go up and change this writeup to dismiss Nevermind entirely… However, I am above my own personal eccentricities, and recognize that Nevermind remains if not one of the best, certainly one of the most IMPORTANT albums of all time… Rolling Stone says it’s number 17, and the highest rated album released in the 90’s… Suffice it to say no Quincy Jones release was one of the 16 above it…

Honorable Mention: Blood Sugar Sex Magik-Red Hot Chili Peppers; The Soul Cages-Sting; Kill Uncle- Morrissey; Out of Time- REM; Joyride-Roxette (Don’t laugh, this album RULES); Why Do Birds sing?-Violent Femmes; Mighty Like a Rose-Elvis Costello; The Globe- Big Audio Dynamite II; 1,039/Smoothed Out Slappy Hours-Green Day; God Fodder-Ned’s Atomic Dust Bin; Metallica (Black)-Metallica; Pocket Full Of Kryptonite-Spin Doctors; Ten-Pearl Jam; Solace- Sarah McLaughlin; Use Your Illusion I and II- Guns N’ Roses; Badmotorfinger-Soundgarden; Chorus-Erasure; Girlfriend-Matthew Sweet; We Can’t Dance-Genesis; Achtung Baby- U2 . Like I said, this was a great year for music…

Don't blame me, I voted for Nevermind

We'll pick this up on a later post. 1991 has fried my brain...

Monday Mayhem

In the words of Elvis Costello, welcome to the working week... That's right Internet, another weekend has passed us by, and we are back in the throws of e-mail, reports, budgets, phone calls, blah...blah...blah...

Do not fret my digital denizens, while some may see the work week ahead as a depressing pit of despair, others view it as an opportunity... An opportunity for what, you ask? Why, an opportunity to recant the tales of the weekend past in a humorously slanted manner of course!

My weekend was filled with cinema... Cinema ranging from grand, to down right unwatchable... So to kick off the week on the right note, we shall begin with the grand...

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present The Towering Inferno...

As I'm sure many of you are aware, the 70's was a decade of excess... Sexual promiscuity, rampant drug use, horrid clothing, untamed hair growing from damn near everywhere, the unabashed refrains of southern rock and Disco filling the radio stations from Maine to San Diego... I can only posit a theory, as I was blessed to only have to live through the last 18 months of the decade in question, but I really have to assume it was as close as possible to hell on earth... Especially since Andy Gibb was involved... However, from the outside looking in, all the turmoil of the 70's had a highly pleasing side effect. That of course being the big budget all-star-cast disaster picture...

Poor Andy, sold his soul to Satan for Shadow Dancing...

There were many, many of them in the decade, but only one in which we see a post-coital Robert Wagner wrap his head in a damp towel and run head first into an out of control conflagration where his stylishly appointed offices used to be... That'll learn ya for boffin' your secretary! Alas, I am getting ahead of myself...

WET TOWEL STOP FIRE...

The Towering Inferno, a shining example of the 70's disaster flick, begins innocuously enough, with a chopper flyover of beautiful San Francisco, CA. We know it is beautiful San Francisco, CA. because of the omnipresent Golden Gate Bridge looming in either the foreground or background of every segment of the opening flyover scene. That is until we are greeted with the sight of this film's biggest star, Duncan Tower, the world's tallest building!!

The aforementioned chopper lands on the roof of Duncan Tower, and out steps the film's SECOND biggest star, Paul Newman. Newman plays architect-on-the-go Doug Roberts, who we soon learn was the designer of this grand glass and steel structure that thrusts skyward, almost daring the gods to strike it down... Why the world's largest building would be built squarely on top of the world's largest fault line is beyond me, but no matter... Something far less earth-shaking (HAHA!!) will bring this hulking behemoth to it's knees... What you ask? We'll get to that later, but if you want a hint, remind yourself that the film is called The Towering INFERNO... There's not a whole lot of surprise goin' on here... We've all got a pretty good idea about the shit that's going to go down in Duncan Tower...

At this point you're probably thinking to yourself 'OK, we've introduced the setting, and the leading man, we're pretty well informed on where this one's going from the film's title... Cool, another hour and a half of so, and we should have this thing wrapped up.' That my friend, is where you're wrong... If the 70's taught us anything, it's that you cannot make a true disaster flick without making it almost 3 hours long, and The Towering Inferno is a TRUE disaster flick, so settle in for some long, drawn out story telling, and the introduction of far more characters than you really need to wrap your mind around. Actually, this would probably be a good point to go over the film's cast list, because it's a doozy...

1. Paul Newman as Doug Roberts



2. Steve McQueen as Chief O'Hallorhan of the SFFD



3. William Holden as Jim Duncan, owner of Duncan Towers



4. Faye Dunaway as Susan. Susan doesn't get a last name, but she does get nailed by Paul Newman



5. Fred Astaire as Harlee Claiborne, a small time grifter looking for investors into his latest confidence scheme



6. Susan Blakely as Patty Duncan, daughter of Jim Duncan and wife of stodgy prick Richard Chamberlain



7. The Aforementioned Richard Chamberlain as Roger Simmons, the stodgy prick electrician who louses up the whole works, turning this tower into an INFERNO!!!



8. Jennifer Jones as Lisolette, the object of Harlee's con, and later, affection



9. O.J. Simpson as Jernigan, the head of security for Duncan Towers... This wasn't nearly as humorous in 1974 as it is now...



10. Robert Vaughn as Senator Parker, a Senator, named Parker, who ends up in the building...



11. Robert Wagner as Bigelow, one of Doug Roberts' business partners, and the above mentioned human torch...



12. Susan Flannery as Lorrie, the secretary that's got more than stenography on her mind when Bob Wagner's in the office...

There's also the mayor and his wife, a couple of kids with a deaf mother, Lisolette's cat, assorted upper-crust party goers, a handful of bartenders and wait staff, about 4,397 fire fighters, an additional employee of Roberts' firm who gets his face burned off, Maureen McGovern since no 70's flick is complete without a misplaced theme song, and according to the IMDB page, Lady in Buoy played adeptly by disaster movie regular Elizabeth Rogers also of The Poseidon Adventure, and Flood!. What I'm getting at here is that this cast is not only star-studded, but EXCESSIVE... Throughout the course of the film we're expected to create a deep emotional tie to every one of these people, which explains the almost 3 hour run time, but for the most part the only thing I find myself caring about is seeing how the fire gets them...

Hey! Why weren't ANY of us in this cast?

Lucky for us, this movie was made in the 70's, and not the 90's, so anybody is fair game... When comparing this flick to disaster films of the 90's like Volcano, or Dante's Peak:The Good Version of Volcano, that is the biggest difference. If you're cast in a 70's disaster film, your job is simple, find an interesting way to die. By the 90's we became softer as a movie going public, and we wanted to see our favorite characters either survive, or die honorably, while saving the life of another... This brings us to the lead up of Bob Wagner's early exit from the film...

So it's the opening night of Duncan Towers, and while many well dressed dignitaries and fancy-pantses of San Francisco society are streaming in for the gala on the 135th floor, architect-by-day-fire-fighting-hero-by-night Doug Roberts is trying his best to convince the building's owner Jim Duncan and his stodgy prick son in law Roger Simmons that the building is NOT up to the standard in which he designed it. Bob Wagner also finds himself in the middle of this discussion, but doesn't think too much of it, because instead of trying to solve the problem, he'd rather head down to the 68th floor and give it to his secretary. Bob shuts off the phones, sends the rest of the steno pool home and starts makin' with the lovin'...

Meanwhile, a fire has broken out in a small utility closet on 81! What's worse is no one knows about it because the security system is malfunctioning... Soon enough we find out that's not the only system that isn't working, the fire sprinklers are also out... Needless to say the fire spreads, Doug's buddy who's been wandering the floors with him trying to isolate the dangers gets his face burned off, Doug calls the fire department, prompting Steve McQueen and everyone who's every worked on a fire in the history of California to show up and put out the blaze. The blaze spreads, further electrical problems create more blazes on other floors, Bob Wagner finishes his business on 68 and is ready to send his secretary on her merry way so he can attend the gala upstairs, but lo and behold! The whole damn joint is on fire!!

Whole joint, on fire...

Bob, being both a considerate lover and a man of action decides he will risk life and limb to save his beloved. He plans to run through the fire to the stairway so he can make his way to a lower floor and summon help. He does what anyone would do when they're about to run through a fire... He moistens a bath towel and wraps it around his head! THAT'LL keep the flames away! It is at this point that we are given a specific lesson in how 70's disaster films work. If you come up with a stupid plan, it's NOT GOING TO WORK, unless of course it's the stupid plan that brings the film to resolution, but more on that later.

Good old Bob takes 2 steps out of the office of carnal passion and into the flaming wreckage of the main lobby and is already thoroughly engulfed in flames... It's as if the fire didn't even recognize he had a wet towel on his head! Bob burns to a crisp long before summoning help, and his paramour, still standing pantless in the lovin' office is also shortly overtaken by flames. Not only did Bob's stupid plan not save his own life, but he didn't even die heroically saving the life of his love... To add insult to injury, when the fire fighters eventually make their way to 68 to battle the blaze, no tears are shed for these two, all that's left is a monogrammed watch that chief O'Hallorhan tosses aside as it doesn't belong to one of his men.

I WANT MY PANTS!!!

Cutting to the chase, lots of stuff catches fire, some people get burned, some people jump to their deaths, an old lady saves 2 kids and their deaf mom, OJ saves the old lady's cat, and everyone who isn't already dead finds their way up to 135 and the Promenade room where the gala is being held. The cast runs through a seemingly endless string of ideas on how to get people out of the tower and to safety including taking the elevator past 50 floors of fire (this, as you can imagine, does not work so well) trying a different elevator, that eventually ends up separated from the shaft and hanging precariously over the side of the building (this is how cat lady meets her doom, falling out of the elevator even though she saved the lives of two young children... Film makers in the 70's were bastards...), and shooting a line from the promenade room to the roof of another building so people can be moved across in a buoy one by one (this is where we meet buoy lady). Eventually all these plans fail either by sheer stupidity, or by human nature in the form of stodgy prick Roger Simmons who decides to cut past the line of partygoers to get into the buoy. Another group of partygoers revolts, including the otherwise useless Senator, and all of them end up falling to their deaths as the buoy line inevitably breaks...

Now is when the film makers decide the madness must stop, so they write in some previously unmentioned water tanks on the 138th floor, just above the promenade room, filled with millions of gallons of water, which we are told is more than enough to put out the fire... The only problem is, somebody's going to have to lay the explosives to blow the water tanks, thereby saving hundreds of lives! The only problem is, there's a good chance that person (or persons) won't make it out alive. I don't know about you, but if I'm trapped in a life or death situation in 1974, there's only two dudes I want saving the day, Paul Newman and Steve McQueen... Well shit howdy! They're BOTH in this movie!!

Newman and McQueen head up to 138 to set the charges while the partygoers all use what's left of the buoy rope to tie themselves off to fixtures as a flood's about to roll through. Irony, thy name is 70's disaster flick... All these folks scared of burning alive NOW have to worry about drowning, or being swept away to their deaths by a wall of water! OK, that pretty much rules... Newman and McQueen set the charges, set a timer for 5 minutes, and head back down to 135 to tie themselves off. Both make it in plenty of time, leading one to ask, 'why were these guys in any more danger than the other folks trapped on 135'? Soon we learn they weren't.

The charges go, and here comes the water. A bunch of folks who's survived the flames do not survive the rushing onslaught that now faces them, and they are swept out the broken out windows of the 135th floor. Call me a cynic, but from this height, I'm thinking they're not going to survive the fall... Past the mass carnage caused by the rush of water, the plan actually works! The water puts out the fire, and the people left alive make their way out of the tower... Poor Fred Astaire wanders around looking for the cat lady he'd fallen in love with on 135, only to be told she didn't survive. Luckily for him, OJ's got her cat...

Hey... Wanna cat?

It's fatalistic, it's ridiculous, it's overly long, it has a horrific song in the middle, and for all these reasons and more, The Towering Inferno is one of the most entertaining films you could hope for... Enjoy the flesh burning, corpse falling action today!!

Blargeting...

So I've been all over internetville today, leaving my two cents on topics various and sundry partially because the whole blog experience has given me a false sense of importance, but mostly as a marketing ploy to get random folks to drop by and read my blog!

I know, I'm fiendishly diabolical... As a gesture of greeting, and a subtle apology for dragging you from your cozy Internet lives and into my den of iniquity, I offer some lovely snack chips...

Enjoy!

Friday's a poppin'!

Welcome party people to another Friday. It seems the older I get the faster they come around… Of course, the same can be said for Mondays… To sum up my week, I started a blog, which you’re fully aware of if you’re reading this right now, and if you aren’t well… then… you’re not seeing this and… Man… It’s getting all existential in here… It must me the Massive Attack humming on the iPod… So other than the blog, I finished reading The Girl Next Door, a pretty disturbing novel by Jack Ketchum that’s worth a read if you’ve got $7, an Amazon account, and a few hours to kill, watched some flicks, listened to a whole lot of music, and got 5 days closer to my Vegas/Santa Inez Valley vacation in July.

Viva, dear internet... Viva...

No huge plans for the weekend. I’ll be hanging with Dad on Sunday as that’s the day for it and all. Past that, I have no clue… The wife is my social event planner so I pretty much just go where I’m told and dress accordingly. Reason number 1,254 why I enjoy being married… I don’t have to think nearly as much as I used to…

My wife is not ACTUALLY Julie the Cruise Ship Director, I just call her that...

Ooh! One of my favorite new discoveries has just fired up on the old Pod… Although, I must admit my embarrassment that this particular discovery is new to me, since the song is over 30 years old, but it just shows to go ya that no matter how much music you may have, there’s always something else out there that’s worth a listen…

Get ready for some ZEVON!!

Anyhoo, I’m referring to the only musical account (to MY knowledge) of the Biafra war, Warren Zevon’s Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner. I can not begin to tell you how tickled I was when I first downloaded the Excitable Boy album and say this track listed. I mean, how can you write a song about a HEADLESS THOMPSON GUNNER and NOT have it be a classic? The short answer is you can’t… So the story goes a little something like this… Roland is a mercenary for hire from ‘The Land of the Midnight Sun’ who makes a deal in Denmark (on a dark and stormy day) to head out for Biafra, to join the bloody fray… So what I’m telling you is in the first 30 seconds we find out we’re listening to the story of an Norwegian guerrilla warrior embarking on a trip to the deepest parts of Africa to fight in a civil war… This has already beat the hell out of the tune about the drunken werewolf…

Back to the story… So Roland spends the next few years deep in combat, fighting the Congo war, knee deep in gore no less… Warren sums up this section best with a little justification… ‘They killed to earn their living, and to help out the Congolese.’ Well, so long as we’re helping out the Congolese, then by all rights continue the bloodshed! It's like he's talking about helping a buddy move out of his apartment... "Alright pal, I'll kill a few corrupt millitants, but I'm NOT carrying your refrigerator down those stairs..." At this time, we’re ready for the chorus…

Roland the Thompson Gunner (See, he’s still got a head at this point, but we all know what’s coming)
Roland the Thompson Gunner (Just in case you missed it the first time)

Hey, wait… we’re back into a verse now? So you pulled out a little drum breakdown so you could tell us the dude's name a couple of times? Where’s the catchy rhyme about gunnin’ folks down? Alas, I’m enjoying your tale… sorry to interrupt…

Now we’re introduced to Roland’s buddies, the fellow mercenaries… Specifically a gentleman named VanOwen… Could this be FORESHADOWING??? Only time, and Warren Zevon will tell… We’re also informed that of all the hired guns, nobody kills folk QUITE like Roland kills folk… He’s the A#1, cream of the crop, Top dog, big cheese, head honcho… Although I get the sinking suspicion he’s soon to be a HEADLESS honcho, mostly because I know the name of the song…

(psst... In case you forgot, it's Roland the HEADLESS Thompson Gunner... kthx...)

We all know what happens where you’re the Best of the Best… That’s right, the CIA starts gunning for you… That’s why I always try my best to be just slightly below average in everything I do. The last thing I need is a CIA price on my head, and those dudes just LOVE to kill whomever’s best at something… I know this ‘cause Warren told me… Oh! OOH!! That sonofabitch VANOWEN! Blows off Roland’s head!!! VanOwen was working for the CIA!?! It's like all double crossing any Spy vs. Spy like in here now! I KNEW that dude was bad news… Probably because he was the only other guy in the song who’s had his name mentioned… Anyway, now we’re ready for the REAL chorus…

Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
Norway’s Bravest Son
They can still see his headless body
Stalking through the night
In the muzzle flash
Of Roland’s Thompson Gun

AWESOME! We’re not only singing about virtually unknown civil unrest in a country that no longer exists (‘cause the Congolese win this mother, sorry to spoil it for the Biafra fans…) We’re ALSO singing about the headless corpse of a gun for hire stalking through the night, no longer motivated by sheer greed, but by bloodlust! Roland starts with an R, and so does REVENGE!!! Damn… They should make a slasher flick out of this thing… That line is MADE for the DVD cover… Alls I can tell you is I’m glad my name isn’t VanOwen right about now…

So that dirty rotten no good VanOwen is hiding out in a Mombasa ballroom face down in a glass of gin. His days are SO numbered, and even he knows it… Roland’s one bad dude, head or no head… At this point, the no head part is probably best forgotten, because it raises too many questions as the Z opines:

Roland aimed his Thompson Gun (How do you aim without a head)
He didn’t say a word (Of course not, HE’S GOT NO HEAD)
But he blew VanOwen’s body
Clear to Johannesburg (Hah! Take THAT VanOwen…)

I envision at this point in the song, there’s a video montage of the headless Roland training for his meet up with VanOwen, interspersed with shots of his post-revenge-murder celebration while the other drunkards of Mombasa stare on in horror. It makes WZ’s breakdown so much more entertaining if you look at it that way.

OK... Now imagine him without a head...

Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
TALKIN’ ABOUT THE MAN…
Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner

Warren know gets to the bread and butter of this tune. Although it MAY seem like it, thisi isn’t just a sensationalized ditty about a dude getting his head blown off and then exacting revenge upon the poor sap who did him in, oh NO… It’s a call to arms! Warren is asking headless mercenaries the WORLD over to rise up against their oppressors… From Ireland to Lebanon, from Palestine to Berkley (OK, one of these things is not like the others… I’m just sayin’)

And now… wait for it… Warren’s just full on lost it…

PATTY HEARST
HEARD THE BURST
OF ROLAND’S THOMPSON GUN
AND BOUGHT IT…

You heard it here first folks, Stockholm Syndrome, Shmockholm Syndrome… Patty Hearst wasn’t identifying with her captors, she was just doing what the headless Thompson gunner told her to… It makes SO much more SENSE now… Oh that pesky Roland, out there convincing heiresses to rob banks in the name of a wacky left-wing cause… What a scamp…

Oh, by the way, that’s the end of the tune… Warren gives us the little nugget of Patty Hearst related truth and then just figures we’ve got enough to chew on… This is why, my friends, it is a horrible shame this man was taken from us at such a young age… In three minutes and fourty seconds he has summed up the Congolese war, told us the tale of a murdered gun for hire hell bent on finding his own personal justice and in closing, explained away all the civil unrest going on in our world (at least, as of 1977). Had Warren Zevon chosen a career in film making, movies as we know them would be much, much shorter…

Happy Friday all, and watch out for the headless!

Stuff 'n Junk

So I've got nothing to do, and even less to say but this whole bloggin' thing is addictive when it's new, and I'm starting to think that I shouldn't have a thought that I'm not going to write down... I apologize in advance... This could get very boring for all involved... OK, here's something, how about I bore the cyber world with a list of the things I've done most recently to kill time, and my impressions about them!

Song Stuck in my Head: The Teachers are Afraid of the Pupils Morrissey : Hey ummm... Moz? We're pals and all, and I really dig this tune, but you think you could make it just a bit shorter? Like, oh, 5 minutes or so shorter? Many, many things can happen in 11 minutes. Sunsets, freak hail storms, you can microwave a baked potato, I can't speak for others, but I could down a full pot of coffee... You see what I'm saying? Maybe just repeat the chorus 4 times instead of like, 18... OK? Glad we had this talk... Need a Kleenex? It's OK... You ARE a sensitive one aren't you?

Last Movie I Watched: Final Destination 3: I tend to be a 'horror purist' if you will, and by that, I mean kind of a stodgy prick when it comes to watching any gory flicks made after about 1990... unless they're Italian... That's a WHOLE other can of spaghetti strewn about to look like guts... Anyhoo, I must profusely apologize to Final Destination 3. I ignored you far too long, and in doing so, I was really only cheating myself. I do not wish to do a full on flick recap, mostly because other blogger folk do this so very well (see the blogs I read regularly) and I'd rather not embarrass myself... I will say however, that as a member of the fitness industry, nothing tickles me more than seeing a jock dude find himself headless on a chest press. If last Sunday was a game, than this flick most certainly was the winner...

Book I'm currently reading: Of Rats and Men: The Biography of Oscar Goodman From a mob lawyer, known mostly for his courtroom tirades and superfluous motions delaying his client's inevitable trips to the slam, to mayor of the swinginest town around, the fabulous Las Vegas, NV. I'm making a trip out to Sin City next month, and I always kick off the pre-trip ritual by reading up on my favorite place... Mayor O's story is straight outta Vegas. Long days battling prosecutors in the courtroom, long nights battling Beefeater martini's at the local casinos. Goodman represented Tony Spilotro (Better known as Joe Peshi's character Nicky Santoro in Marty Scorsese's Casino), a federal judge that he'd once tried cases before (ballsy trying to pull THAT one off), and reputedly, the real money man behind Las Vegas, Meyer Lansky, although Goodman claims that he never met the man, only representing him in absentia. I'm yet to get to the 'running for mayor' part, but if it's half as entertaining as the mobbed-up lawyer part, then I may have to consider a run at politics!

So there's a little insight into the inner workings of your friendly webierhood blogenstein... I hope it was as entertaining for you as it was time consuming for me... Now, to bed! A great, big, wonderful Friday awaits!

I leave you with this: Why in the holy hell can I not stop typing semicolons (;) when I'm MEANING to type apostrophes (')? Perhaps I have a touch of the hydrophobie...

Editor's Note: Heh... Like anybody EDITS this pap...

Just a quick plug for some other entertaining folks out there in cyberspace... Check out the other blogs I'm reading... These people are like all professional and junk... They post interesting content on a routine basis and have been for quite some time... Oh to be so blogsessful some day...

Random Review: Billy Joel's Storm Front

The random review segment will be a recurring 'I've got nothing important to say right now' post. Since it's rare that I DO have anything important to say, expect to see quite a lot of random reviews. Basically, how I plan on working this is to start a post, much like this one, and at some point in the post, when I'm ready to begin the Random Review, I'll review whatever album is currently playing my my iPod. The 'Pod is set to play songs randomly, and is currently surfing through my 'Rock Snob' playlist which includes 785 tracks.
The current track playing is The Downeaster Alexa off of Billy Joel's Storm Front album. iPod has spoken. Let the random review begin!

Album: Storm Front
Artist: Billy Joel
Original Release: October, 1989
Tracks:
1. That's Not Her Style
2. We Didn't Start The Fire
3. The Downeaster 'Alexa'
4. I Go To Extremes
5. Shameless
6. Storm Front
7. Leningrad
8. State of Grace
9. When In Rome
10. And So It Goes

Overview: Of Billy's 12 studio albums, the first that springs to most people's minds is The Stranger, and rightfully so. Released in 1977, it plays like a culmination of all of Billy's musical influences. He channeled The Beatles on Scenes from an Italian Restaurant, he gave a nod to his often more commercially successful softer side on She's Always a Woman, gave props to 50's greaser rock on Movin' Out (Anthony's Song), and reminded us that there was substance beneath the thin pop veneer on the title track.

I only mention it because Storm Front is a good album, but The Stranger it is not.

Unlike his earlier opus, each track on Storm Front is more stand alone than part of a whole overarching story. While that's not necessarily a bad thing, it's certainly a different feel, and in some ways it's beyond just a standard collection of stand alone songs, it's almost disjointed in some ways. Transitioning from a slightly more grown up, but still heavily popped-out follow up to Uptown Girl with That's Not Her Style straight into a forward thinking angst anthem that would have fit in nicely with the grunge scene soon to hit in the 90's with We Didn't Start The Fire, Billy sets the tone to be, well, I guess the nice way to say it would be 'eclectic' but in some ways it seems more 'schizophrenic'. Kind of like ABC getting beat up by Nirvana while Wham cowers in the corner and hides.
Don't get me wrong, there's charm in that, and what's more, it shows that the forward thinking of the album didn't just extend to the subject matter of WDSTF, but continued in the flow of the entire release. Storm Front was released at the front end of the CD boom, and for the first time, listeners could at the push of a button select whatever track they wanted to listen to. Gone were the days of fast-forwarding and rewinding to catch the first few bars of the tune you were looking for. Gone were the days of surgeon like precision, trying to catch that sweet blank spot between the grooves on your LP. Don't even get me started on 8-tracks. Why the hell would you consider a format that could be fast-forwarded, but not rewound? I spent many an hour fast forwarding over and over again to find the exact right second to start playback on The Associations Greatest Hits. I guess that's what I get for trying to throw Never My Love on a mix tape for an 11 year old girl... In 1989... Needless to say my efforts when unrewarded. In the 80's, classic rock was not the ironic form of expression it is today. Alas, I still don't get the joke... I will always enjoy the music, and I will never, EVER listen to Sweet Home Alabama unless forced. No matter how firmly I plant my tongue in my cheek.

Back to the album at hand. Here's a track by track breakdown of my impressions of Storm Front

1. That's Not Her Style- As I mentioned above, to me, this track would have been better served if Billy would have named it what it was: Uptown Girl: Part TWO Billy takes us through a five minute explanation of why his then wife Christy Brinkley isn't really the raging stereotypical vapid model dimwit she seems to be. Alas, a few years later she would break poor William's heart, and show herself to be EXACTLY the self-absorbed useless pseudo-person good old Bill is trying to downplay on this track. Hindsight is, as they say, twenty-twenty. Schucks Billy, I guess that WAS her style...

2. We Didn't Start The Fire- If a more often mis-quoted 80's staple exists, I am not aware of it. One could make a point that REM's It's The End Of The World As We Know It And I Feel Fine would be right up there as well, but the big difference is nobody pretended to know all the words to that one... We'd all just hum along until we got a chance to scream LEONARD BERNSTEIN at the top of our lungs and then go back to humming quietly. With We Didn't Start The Fire Billy issued a challenge. A challenge to see if we were really paying attention from Harry Truman and Doris Day all the way through the Rock & Roller Cola Wars we were riveted for 4:50 of sheer rebellion. Oh, and while a comma was most definitely included someplace in there, Billy really did coin the phrase 'Space Monkey Mafia'.

3. The Downeaster 'Alexa'- Yar, I know after flipping off the establishment in grand fashion by giving the youth of America a call to arms about decades of atrocities, I'm ready for a good old fashioned sea shanty! 'Downeaster' isn't exactly the next Louie, Louie it's a bit darker in theme than that, but the particulars are all there. Dude's on a boat, dude goes fishing, dude encounters a a storm, dude may never make it home. The Joelenator throws in a few lines about civil unrest amongst the Long Island Sound fishermen, and names the boat, and subsequently the song, after his daughter, but past that, It's basically 'Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a fisherman's life for me.' Like I said, disjointed, but not without merit. Tis a good song indeed ya lilly livered land lubbers... Past me the tar-tar sauce!

4. I Go To Extremes- OK. I could totally fly off the handle here, but I really DO want to point out that I can listen to this song and enjoy it pretty much any time. It's not the kind of track you want to put too much thought into, and it really was a shame that it was the followup single to the mind-bending WDSTF. All you really need to know is that Billy has friends who play guitar, and the guy can make a piano solo sound menacing. For that, it's a good song, and worth listening to... Now, for the OTHER side of this coin... Who, exactly, has EVER accused Billy Joel of 'Going To Extremes'? Was it his hard edged punk-thrash anthem Just The Way You Are? Maybe his speed metal classic Piano Man was the root cause... Hey Billy, your last name is JOEL, not IDOL... There's very little about you that would be considered 'Extreme', unless you're referring to the tightness of your pants in this video... I concur... That's a bit extreme... http://www.artistdirect.com/nad/window/media/page/video/0,,4164893,00.html

5. Shameless- Before Garth Brooks turned it into a country cliche, Billy scored a real, heartfelt 'I'm Sorry' tune, perfect for getting back in the good graces of any mistreated love... Alas, the patented Brooks twang had to come along and score 'crossover success' with a track that was already firmly ensconced in the history of Rock & Roll. You're not fooling ME Brooks... By rights, I don't think Garth ever tried to pass the tune off as his own, but my irrational anger toward him for bastardizing an otherwise great album track by slapping it with puffy paint and glitter to turn it into solid country gold will never be slaked. I don't want him DEAD per-sey, but if some rare throat altering condition occurred giving him the voice of Yackov Smirnoff for the rest of his living days than and only then will I be willing to feel that justice has properly been meted out. Long and short of it, this is a good Billy tune, and a bad, bad country cover...

In Russia, Country Music cover YOU...

6. Storm Front- I've always imagined that this album track is the story of the crew of the Downeaster Alexa after a long night of hard drinking... Everybody gets hammered, and starts 'going to extremes' as the Storm Front starts coming. I'm not sure WHY I see this as a tale of drunken sailors... Maybe it's the saxophone... Word to the wise, if you're looking for a soulful lyric about different cloud formations and weather patterns, look no further my friend... Billy's got your back...

7. Leningrad- You may have noticed a rather high level of mock in this write up for an album I SUPPOSEDLY enjoy so much. I'm here to tell you, the mocking will now cease. At least, for the few lines about this, the greatest Billy Joel song ever recorded. That's right, you heard me internet, this is it! It doesn't get better than this. You've got a heartbroken Russian clown, an American Baby-Boomer father questioning the long held hatred of the cold war, a young child caught in a world of prejudice she did not create and cannot understand. It's like the best kind of musical theater, because it's not 3 hours long! Sit back, enjoy, and for Uri's sake, LEARN something will ya?

8. State of Grace- State of Grace is about as close to reminiscent and self indulgent as I want my recording artists to get. It's got a good hook, a nice melody, some poignant lyrics, and it's 100% about Billy... I can live with that. I'd be even more impressed if he hadn't already thrown a self aggrandizing schlock heap on the front side of the album with I Go To Extremes once again I warn you... Do not stare directly into the pants... They could explode at any moment... And again, I DO like the song... Unless I THINK about it...

9. When in Rome- I'm guessing this is how this track went down... Keep in mind, the following conversation is purely fiction, but it's BASED ON TRUE EVENTS!!!
"Hey Billy, listen, we've got all these background singers still hanging out from the Storm Front recording, and I really, really wanted to capture the drunken sailor feel of the song, so, well... They're all tanked, and they can't drive home. The union says I've got to pay them for being here, so how's about we throw another saxophone and background singer track on this record huh?"
"Well, I guess we can do that... This isn't going to require that I put my 'Extreme' pants back on is it? I'm pretty sure I busted some seams getting out of them the last time..."
"Nah, normal pants aught to be fine, but we ARE going to need you to come up with a song..."
"Ahh, alright, give me a cocktail napkin will ya... Let's see... When in Rome, do as the Romans do... That aught to work. OK, lets tape this puppy and get the hell out of here..."

10. And So It Goes- Say what you will about ol' Joelsky, but the man knows how to finish an album... In one short track he manages to sum up the better part of his last decade of recording, and even, in a subtle way, seems to apologize for making us sit through When In Rome. As a wave of comfort washes over us while the final chords play, we're once again greeted with the question on the minds of every listener when an album has passed it's crescendo... Will I ever listen to this again? Luckily, dear listener, we have reached the CD age, and you can skip the crappy tracks! I must admit however, that no matter how many times I've listened to this album, I do not skip the crappy tracks... They are the glue that holds the honest art together.

So all in all, maybe I was wrong. There IS something cohesive about this recording... Billy is just reminding us that in every one's life, a few useless sax solos must fall, and the net effect is that they make the moments AROUND them so much better. Thank you Mr. Joel for yet another good turn. It's a shame he will only put out one more rock album after this one...

The Mystery Dance: A trip through human emotions on the wings of power chords and self indulgent Moog solos

This is a blog of both epic, and useless proportions. Many of us, myself most definitely included, have what can only be described as a disheartening lack of musical ability, but I do not fret, for while I may be an embarrassingly bad singer, or player of songs, I listen to music like nobodies business. I can only assume anyone reading this feels the same way, or was just looking for a sweet Moog solo, or maybe was looking for an Elvis Costello tribute site (which it will only be once in a while) or feels they owe me something because I’d done them a favor at some point in the past, regardless, I’ll take readers where I can get them.

The hope is that people can relate, and agree with my take on the right music for the right mood. Or that they do not agree SO strongly they feel the need to hurl insults at me in big bold letters via the comments section. Fear not, I'm open to your ridicule. Hell, I'm willing to drive down the street blasting Sigue Sigue Sputnik there's few expletives I haven't had screamed at me from passing compacts.

If you're serious about getting the most out of this blog, it's about more than the words. Crank up the iTunes, or other computerized music player that's notably less bent on world domination and listen along with me, or listen to your own tunes, but listen to something. Wait, unless you are reading this at school, or a library, or perhaps while at work and are otherwise unable to rock your face off. I'm not looking to get anybody fired, or expelled, or worse, forcibly removed from a library... I'll tell you what, if you can't actually listen to music, at least hum quietly to yourself, or sing a song in your head. I suggest Nena's 99 Red Balloons. The German version of course, because nothing's cooler than listening to an 80's icon sprechen' the Deutch at a mad frantic pace and suddenly busting out a 'Captain Kirk' right in the middle of the verse. It's also good to know that Star Trek needs no passport.

I've been asking myself for the last few days, as I've been considering starting this endeavour, why oh why do I want to put so much time and effort into sharing my opinions on music? Honestly, I don't. I want to spend this much time and effort for YOU to share YOUR opinions on music. 95% of the music I listen to I inherited from my dad, my brother, my friends, former bosses, former loves, my lovely wife, anyone and everyone who I've come in contact with throughout my first 30 years on this planet. So little of what I listen to I came by 'honestly', and I feel no shame in this. Above all, the love of music transcends the minutiae of it's individual parts. It's not about a guitar riff, a certain lyric, or an unforgettable hook as much as it's about where you were when you first heard a song that you now love. What were you doing when you first found yourself singing along?

Oh, and there will be lists... By god almighty there will be lists... If there is one thing music geeks and bloggers by and large will ALWAYS agree on, it's that putting numbers next to things gives them meaning. In my opinion, sacred meaning. For example, here, now, in my first ever post, I feel it's appropriate to divulge my Top 5 all time artists/bands. As with any living thing, the list changes and adapts for different points in time. The top 4 however, have been the top 4 for over 10 years. #5's still got a bullet, because she only qualified for a top 5 spot a few years ago. See, to get into the top 5, you have to have put out a minimum of 100 separate songs. This does not count live albums, or greatest hit re-releases. It DOES count imported tracks, B-sides, or other 'underground' pieces. But 100 is the number, so no matter how much I enjoy them, The Police for example will never, EVER be a Top 5. If they WANTED to be a Top 5, they should have sucked it up and stayed together. Not that simply having 100 tracks will get you in the Top 5... The Rolling Stones could put out 2,000 more songs and would STILL never even crack the Top 10. It's not about quantity, and it's not about quality. It's about... well... quantality!

So here they is, in as-of-this-moment order:

1. The Beatles
2. Elvis Costello
3. U2
4. Genesis (Specifically the Peter Gabriel years)
5. Tori Amos

There's so much more to say. So many reasons these 5 artists have contributed so much to the soundtrack of my life, but that's what future blog posts are for. For now, I'll leave it here. Read, enjoy, discuss, and if you disagree, tell me about it. After all, I have another 120 gigs of hard drive to fill with MP3's!