The Mystery Dance

Oregon: Watch Out for Dysentery!

2011-03-14T17:12:00.000-07:00

If you grew up in the 1980's, you were likely exposed to the phenomenon known as the 'Computer Lab'. A classroom at your elementary school, junior high, or high school that had anywhere from 5 to 30 really really low powered, really really high cost Apple computers that were good for pretty much only one thing.

Oregon Trail.

Sure, there were OTHER games, typically involving a block-headed-Mickey-Mouse, a stick figure carrying random balloons to no foreseeable destination for no explainable reason, or some other early attempt at computer 'graphics', but the only game where you could potentially DIE, and even KILL (mostly snakes, and buffalo, but STILL) was Oregon Trail. As a prototypical bloodthirsty eight year old, this was the absolute greatest 40 minutes of my school week.

Keep in mind, had I had Oregon Trail on my home Commodore 64, it would have very rarely, if even been played. See, at HOME I had all sorts of games where I could kill eight-bit baddies with all the malice of a truly vengeful deity of ancient times, but isn't that true of everything 'great' we were exposed to in school? I can recall really digging on a Greek Mythology reel-to-reel I watched in my Sophomore year World History class too, but it was no Clash of the Titans, that's for DAMN sure. It was just the best you could get as a captive audience, and that made it about 1000% better than listening to a room full of fifteen-year-olds reading excerpts of a text book chapter about the importance of clay pots.

This is not to say that the entire state of Oregon is infested with rattlesnakes, charging buffalo, and only entertaining to a captive audience, it was simply a brief aside turned into a chilling look into my childhood psyche. Relax, you'll all be glad to know that I got out of the habit of killing innocent digital citizens round about the release of the original Grand Theft Auto. Now I'm more an Angry Birds type of guy.

Still, whenever I consider Oregon, I can't help but being both angered an elated by the dark and brooding Apple green glow, informing me that my quest had ended. Somewhere along the line I had contracted a disease, and the GS Reaper now delivered the ghoulish news: You Have Died of Dysentery. Sure, my game was over, but not because I didn't deliver the ridiculous balloons to the useless party in time because I hadn't properly spelled my vocab words, Oregon told-it-like-it-was. My game was over because I was DEAD. That's it, that's all, no more buffalo burgers for me. Oregon turned eight-year-olds into men. At least during computer lab.

Anyhoo, we're not here to wax nostalgic, or ruminate upon the great cleansing force of that nostalgia, making even the dullest moments of our past shine like great beacons of 'Better Days', we're here to talk music, right? It's time to pay homage to not just a game, but the great state that is it's namesake, Oregon. A land where one can find many trees, fabulous donuts, and The Goonies! There is oh so much to love about Oregon. Rain, liberal politics, towns ending in the words 'falls' and 'pass', a Salem where they DON'T burn witches, craft beers, industrious uses of tofu, and a thriving indie music scene.
Of course, I would be remiss if I didn't also share some Internet acquired "facts" about the 33rd state inducted into this great US of America. For example:

- Oregon's Crater Lake National Park is the only national park in Oregon. Crater Lake is not a crater but a caldera. Kind of makes you wonder what ELSE Oregon is lying about, DOESN'T it?

- Humans have inhabited the area that is now Oregon for at least 15,000 years, and claim it has rained every day.

- In 1811, New Yorker John Jacob Astor financed the establishment of Fort Astoria at the mouth of the Columbia River as a western outpost to his Pacific Fur Company; this was the first permanent European settlement in Oregon. In 1985, Sean Astin declared it was Our Time... Down Here...

- According to the Oregon Tourism Commission (also known as Travel Oregon), present-day Oregonians pronounce the state's name as "OR-UH-GUN, never OR-EE-GONE". Good for THEE-EM.

- Some famous Oregonians (OR-UH-GUN-EE-ANS) not listen as our musical honored guests include: Wally 'I Was a 1986 Met' Backman, Scott 'I Was a 1998-2000 Yankee' Brosius, Trevor 'I Play For the Indians' Crowe, Sam 'I Don't Play Baseball' Elliot, Beverly 'Mouse and the Motorcycle' Cleary, David 'The First Rule of Fight Club is I Directed Fight Club' Fincher, Kevin 'Good Lord Lots of Baseball Players are from Oregon' Gregg, Tonya 'Lead Pipes and Sex Tapes' Harding, Howard 'Dr. Johnny Fever' Hessman, and Johnnie 'The Singer NOT the Baseball Player' Ray. As well as lots of other people, most of whom played baseball.

There's all sorts of other things I can say about Oregon, but really what more is there to say but Voodoo Doughnut.

Musically, Oregon is an interesting place. Through much if the state's history, it had been isolated from the popular forces of music present in most of the east coast and Midwest states forming in the early part of the 1900s. The population of Oregon, always a higher percentage of white, European immigrants than the Latin, or African American cultures that have held a profound effect on the music of the rest of the nation, didn't really become a contributing factor to the nation's music scene until popular radio spread rock n' roll coast to coast. In the 60's Oregon began making up for it's slow start in a big way, and Portland is currently one of the booming scenes for the modern independent rock genre. As such, there will not be culture-shifting historical selections on this list, but role-players in the great rock explosion of the Pacific Northwest during the fuzz-guitar end of the 1960's, and a look into the future face of rock with the Young Turks beginning to make 'Portland' the next 'Seattle'. For more info on the hyper-speed evolution of Oregon music, check out the Music of Oregon wikipedia entry, and all it's corresponding links. It's a great place o explore if you're looking

Solo Artist: M. Ward

Referring to M. Ward as a solo artist is as fair as giving the 'Best Picture' Oscar just to a film's producers. It's really not an accurate reflection of the depth of people involved in a film, or in this case, in making the full catalog of music that can been rolled up under the stage name of one Mathew Stephen Ward. Since his self-released 1999 Duet For Guitars No. 2 M. Ward has been an icon in the indie scene. He has collaborated with Bright Eyes, is a member of the Folk-Rock super group Monsters of Folk, is the 'Him' of She & Him, and within his solo work, has partnered with Zooey Deschanel ('She'), Cat Power, Neko Case, Beth Orton,

The Court & Spark, Jenny Lewis, My Morning Jacket, Norah Jones, Jason Lytle, Lucinda Williams, Tom Hagerman, and Mike Mogis.

M. Ward is one of the seeming stereotypical hard workers of the Portland indie circuit, having released seven solo long players and two EPs, two volumes under the name 'She & Him', one Monsters of Folk LP, along with production credits and guest appearances on the albums of many of those mentioned above.

For someone who loves his music, I appreciate the voracity with which he records. At the same time, as someone who've followed the trajectory of musicians, the best approximation I can think of to his work ethic and immersion into an entire music scene in Steve Albini, who traded in his Big Black axe for a producer's seat, greatly slowing down his prolific music making pace.

Until (and if) that day comes, grab a pair of headphones, a cold Pacific Northwest craft beer, and enjoy.

Band: The Kingsmen

Louie Louie, oh no

Me gotta go
Aye-yi-yi-yi, I said
Louie Louie, oh baby
Me gotta go

Fine little girl waits for me
Catch a ship across the sea
Sail that ship about, all alone
Never know if I make it home

CHORUS

Three nights and days I sail the sea
Think of girl, constantly
On that ship, I dream she's there
I smell the rose in her hair.

CHORUS

Okay, let's give it to 'em, right now!

GUITAR SOLO

See Jamaica, the moon above
It won't be long, me see me love
Take her in my arms again
Tell her I'll never leave again

CHORUS

Let's take it on outa here now
Let's go!!

Now you know the words. And here you didn't think you'd get anything of value out of reading this blog post. I aim to surprise.

Aside from recording the penultimate version of the undeniable classic above, The Kingsmen, along with Idaho honorees Paul Revere & The Raiders helped fire the first salvo of pop music cred from the streets of the Portland music scene. With fuzz rock guitars, department store discount amps, a pieced together drum set stashed in a closet in the bedroom of a parents' house, a movement was born. From suburban neighborhoods came Garage Rock, which begot West-Coast Punk/Hardcore, which begot Grunge, which begot Alternative, which begot Indie.

We owe it all to the little bands that could, and to The Jolly Green Giant.

Honorable Mention: Blitzen Trapper

I could have used this space to expound upon the indie cred of long-time independent stalwarts Floater, who have been riding the 'Indie' wave since 1993, sill never signing with a major label, but it would be disingenuous. I don't listen to Floater, never have, and if I begin to now, it won't happen 'organically' but rather because I came across them while researching this post. Instead, I'll attempt to prognosticate what 'In the Know' hipsters the world over will be listening to 6 months from now (for a period of about 2 weeks). Honestly though, even that is hedged bet. Blitzen Trapper has been performing in the greater Oregon indie circuit since 2000, and has seen indie radio airplay outside of Oregon's rocky shores off and on for much of that time. My bestest friends at Pitchfork wrote them up in 2007 on the strength of their 3rd album, Wild Mountain Nation. Since then, 'BT' has proven to be as prolific as they are talented, changing labels (moving over to Sub Pop records) and releasing two more full lengths and an EP in the following three years.

I'm sure signing with one time Indie cred-maker, now alt-rock power-players Sup Pop is the modern Hipster version of 'Sellign Out', but for those of us who think artists SHOULD get paid for the work they do, and that fame is part of the goal, Blitzen Trapper is still on their way up. Their 2008 release, Furr earned them a two-page write up in Rolling Stone and a #13 spot in the Rock-God-Mag's albums of the year. The band is currently touring their 2010 release Destroyer of the Void and will be releasing a new single in a months time. Head on over to the Sup Pop merchandise forum on April 16th and get yourself the latest and greatest.

But I'm not here to sell records, I'm here to try and explain why I think Blitzenn Trapper is 'Important' enough to beat out any of the other Indie artists who could have taken this spot. The big reason for me is that if all I knew of Oregon was the Lewis and Clark expedition, the settling of the west, the great dreams of the people who arrived here two hundred years ago to fulfill America's Manifest Destiny, my expectation would be that the modern music currently being played in this rugged enclave would sound a hell of a lot like Blitzen Trapper. See what you think.

I hope this nugget will help you enjoy the great music of Oregon as much as I do, and in 10 years time when the new 'Scene' is Peoria, or Evansville, or Yucaipa, or Osh Kosh, you can tell folks that you remember back in the days when 'Portland' was the hub of indie rock and roll... Then they'll call you old and laugh at you as they take off down the street on their rocket powered skateboards...

Damn those kids!!

Next up Pennsylvania! What will the land of Hershey's chocolate and the Amish hold in store? Stay Tuned!!

Oooooooooooooo-klahoma: Where the Wind Yada Yada Yada…

2011-03-10T21:14:00.000-08:00

I feel bad for Oklahoma, really, I do. The dustbowl, having to be so close to Texas all the time, living life shaped like a stock pot, this is no way to live! Pennsylvania doesn’t have to put up with that crap. Hell, even Kentucky can fall back on that whole rhymes-with-gettin’-lucky thing. What does Oklahoma have? I mean, even the state abbreviation is just OK.

Well just OK isn’t OK enough for me. We’ve got to find ourselves something OK-TASTIC to say about the poor folks who live upstairs from the rowdy partiers in Texas. These people have had to spend the last hundred-and-four years beating on the floor with a broom handle, yelling KEEP IT DOWN! To those shit-kickin-truck-driving-neighbors-down-stairs, and it’s high time somebody showed them some love.

Let’s start by shining a light on all the wonderful things Wikipedia can tell us about Oklahoma.

- Oklahoma is Nicknamed The Sooner State. This is because sooner or later something cool is bound to happen here. That’s just statistics. Math doesn’t lie.

- Oklahoma is a major producer of natural gas, oil, and agriculture. Don’t light a match in Oklahoma.

- The name Oklahoma comes from the Choctaw phrase okla humma, literally meaning red people. After years of immigration, migration, dodgy blanket giving, dust storms, and hopelessness, most of the red can now only be found on resident’s necks.

- Contrary to popular belief, most Oklahomans do not own pretty little Surreys with fringe on top. Also, very little is actually up to date in Kansas City.

- Oklahoma is the 20th largest state in the union. Yup, just OK.

- The state holds populations of white-tailed deer, coyotes, bobcats, elk, and birds such as quail, doves, cardinals, bald eagles, red-tailed hawks, and pheasants. In prairie ecosystems, American bison, greater prairie-chickens, badgers, and armadillo are common, and some of the nation's largest prairie dog towns inhabit shortgrass prairie in the state's panhandle. That explains why their only pro sports team is called the Thunder. Sure are no ANIMALS in this state you could name your team after.

- The OKC Greater Prairie-Chickens would be my FAVORITE basketball team.

- Native American leader Geronimo was from Oklahoma. He was famous for jumping off of high things whilst screaming his own name.

- General Tommy Franks is also an Okie. Pleasedontsmartbombmeforsayingbadthingsaboutyourstateokaythanks.

- Noted Werewolf, Lon Chaney Jr was from Oklahoma, though he’s often been referred to as being of London. AAAOOOOOOOOH!

- Actors Ron Howard and Clint Howard were both born in Oklahoma. Ron is also a Director and Producer. Clint is also Ron’s brother.

- Heather Langenkamp, noted sufferer of insomnia and bad dreams grew up on Elm St., Somewhere in Oklahoma.

- Oklahoma is apparently a place where lots and lots of people are born, then they leave. People like James “Rockford” Garner, Joan “No Wire Hangars” Crawford, Gary “Endocrine System” Busey, Kristin “Good Lord She’s Tiny” Chenoweth, Blake “God Rest His Soul and the Soul of the Pink Panther” Edwards, Rue “Slutty Golden Girl” McClanahan, Chuck “I Thought Walker was a TEXAS Ranger” Norris, and the people I’m about to profile below!

Solo Artist: Eddie Cochrane

In my time, I have raised both a fuss, and a holler. It happens to the best of us when we are expected to work an entire summer, just to earn ourselves a dollar. I guarantee you, it’s not going to do any good to reach out to an elected official for help, especially if you’re too young to vote.

On April, 16th car accident in the UK stole Eddie from the world before he could realize his true genius. The term ‘ahead of his time’ is often bandied about, especially when speaking of musicians taken from the world before they had a chance to truly shine. Eddie Cochran might just be the best possible example of that trite-but-true bit of sorrow. In the words of Lester Bangs, writing in Rolling Stone in 1972, "Eddie may have imitated Elvis vocally even more than a dozen or so other stalwarts of the day such as Conway Twitty, but his influence on pop consciousness of the magnitude of The Beatles and The Who was deep and profound".
If only Eddie could have had a chance to lean on those contemporaries who were able to stand on his shoulders.

We all know ‘Summertime Blues’. It’s a classic, oft imitated, never replicated, still as high energy and rebellious as it was in 1958. For my money though, nothing shows the snuffed potential of Eddie Cochran like a B-Side from the same year, C'mon Everybody.

Band: The Flaming Lips

If I was ten years older, it would have been The Gap Band. If I was 10 years younger, it would have been The All-American Rejects. There is no way on God’s green earth it was EVER going to be Hanson. Though if I were really drunk, and feeling super-nostalgic for junior high dances, it could have, for a split second, been Color Me Badd. OK, not really. It was ALWAYS going to be The Flaming Lips. I mean, this is ME. They’re a mid-90’s-Dada-inspired-psychedelic-space-rock band. Is there anything here NOT to love?

Alright, to be completely fair, I don’t actually LOVE The Flaming Lips. As a matter of fact, I think you could say I’m woefully under exposed to TFL. I’ve heard maybe a dozen tracks in my time, and other than the radio track ‘She Don’t Use Jelly’ played ad-nauseam my Junior year of High School, I can’t say that any of their other songs ever really stuck with me.

But I SHOULD love them.

And they’re NOT Hanson.

Oklahoma, you have my solemn pledge to give your native sons The Flaming Lips a second chance. Now that I’m no longer held captive by a minimum-wage salary and the whims of FM rock radio, I am free to more deeply explore the bowels of your Lips.

Lips of your bowels?

OK, this is just getting worse. I promise I’ll download a few albums, give them a fair listen, and if I don’t end up loving them as much as I think I will, I’ll come back here and write a treatise on the greater social merits of Mmm Bop.

It’s probably been a good 15 years since you’ve heard this track 12 times a day, so hopefully it’s no longer sickening…

Honorable Mention: Reba McEntire

It should come as no surprise to anyone, anywhere that I am not a fan of the country music genre. It ranks up there with New Age, Opera, and Gansta’ Rap on a list of things I typically-would-rather-sack-wrestle-a-rabid-weasel than listen to. Really though, weasels are meant to be wrestled just as rules are meant to be broken,and when in Romelahoma, do as the Romelahomans do.

The Romelahomans… Err… Oklahomans do country.

It was a foregone conclusion that I was going to have to include a purveyor-of-the-twang on this list, and I just couldn’t bring myself to sing the praises of Garth Brooks, or Roger Miller even if he WAS the King of the Road.

Luckily for me, one of country’s rare exceptions is a product of the panhandle state. Reba McEntire was born near Kiowa, Oklahoma and began her solo career at a rodeo in Oklahoma City. She sang at least one song that I somewhat enjoy, and she was in Tremors.In my opinion, that is more-than-enough for her to have earned her moniker, The Queen of Country.
Enjoy Fancy, it’s shit-kickin’, dramatic, and has a Tom-Jones-esque touch of melancholy story telling that makes me long for the days when the heroes of story telling songs went to prison for killing their underage girlfriend’s fathers…

I’ve linked to an on-screen lyrics version, ‘cause you all know you want to sing along at home. Here’s your one chance… Don’t let me down.

That’s it for the Okies. Next up will be Oregon. A state that I like, with music that I like even more! This is exciting for me, but probably not as humorous for you. I’m sure you can’t wait!

The List: The Dig

2011-03-10T12:20:00.000-08:00

Halfway through my iTunes list and I've found 153 qualifying bands/artists. Suprised by how many do not qualify because I only have one really, really good album, and nothing else. I'd love to include The Jane Austen Argument or The Mars Volta but there's either just not enough music out there, or I haven't heard enough to crack the top 100. As it is, by the time I'm done I'll have to narrow down from about 300 qualifiers, so it's probably good artists are getting dropped on a technicality.

Enjoy some Jane Austen Argument since they won't be on the list and all... At least, not yet... Well worth the $5 investment.

Anatomy of The List

2011-03-09T17:39:00.000-08:00

I have mentioned before that the Internet in general, and Internet Blogs specifically really only exist for one reason.

Wait… Porn…

OK the Internet in general, and Internet Blogs specifically really only exist for TWO reasons. The OTHER one is we all just want to arbitrarily influence the opinions of complete strangers by subjectively ranking things.

All of us.

All the time.

At least, that’s what I like to convince myself. Otherwise, it’s just ME obsessively compulsing all over the ‘net with reckless abandon. Please, join my on my fools errand, won’t you?

My current, and by far most ambitious ranking project is actually designed to have a purpose beyond artificially inspiring debate in hopes to gain regular readers. This ranking list will serve as a master ranking list for many little sub-lists. Those sub-lists will subsequently be turned into playlists, those playlists will then allow me to listen to the best-of-the-best-of-the-best without having to surf through all the less-than-stellar filler found dotted through the catalogs of even the most talented recording artists. Sorry, Duran Duran, but no one is listening to your debut album for Night Boat to Cairo.

…Waitholdonbackupaminute…
I guess I should explain what The List IS. See. I’m going to systematically dig through my iTunes playlist, and pull out ALL the artists who have over 25 unique separate recordings. Example, a live version of a studio track already counted would not count. A Greatest Hits or ‘Single’ edit version of an album track previously counted would not count. A live recording of a track not available on a studio album, or preferred to a studio version would count, but only if said studio version either does not exist, or isn’t counted. Confused yet? Good, that’s what I was aiming for.

From there, I will rank all the artists based purely on my own subjective ranking system with some caveats. Namely, to land in the top 5, you MUST have a minimum of 100 individual tracks, and to land in the top 10, that minimum requirement is 75. Outside of that, it’s Game On. After all, music appreciation is nothing if not subjective. Otherwise, there is no explanation for Ween.

Once ranked, the top 100 will each get a top-25 track playlist. The top 10 will get a top-50 track playlist, and #1 will get a top-100 track playlist.

To avoid suspense, #1 will be The Beatles, and breaking down their catalog to a Top-100 is a challenge I’ve been putting off for about 20 years, so that’s going to be… Fun? Yeah, we’ll say fun…

The thing is, as I think about this project, I’m finding myself left with more questions than answers. I’m pretty confident in determining a number of qualifying tracks per artist, but where do I draw the line for ‘combining’ artist catalogs? For example, in my opinion, Adam Duritz, Counting Crows, and The Himalayans are all one ‘Artist’ under the main ‘Artist’ category of Counting Crows; however, Sting and The Police are two separate artists. Genesis, Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins, Tony Banks, Mike Rutherford, and Steve Hackett are seven different ‘Artists’, yet Dresden Dolls, Evelyn Evelyn, and Amanda Palmer are all Amanda Palmer to me. Do I case-by-case my decision, or should I institute some theorem to keep consistent? Does it matter?

I run into the same issue when I alphabetize. Do I use the iTunes logic and put 10,000 Maniacs at the end? Do I use standard logic and put 10,000 Maniacs at the beginning? Do I just file it under T for Ten-Thousand Maniacs? If you immediately disregarded option 3, then consider Four Non-Blondes? I file The Beatles under B, omitting the word ‘The’, so where the hell does The The go?

OK, that was a joke, but in all seriousness, the whole when-to-combine issue is a big one. I guess, if the potential combinees could occupy multiple spots on their own merit, then they deserve to be separated accordingly (The Morrissey vs. The Smiths theorem) However, when it takes the combined efforts to make the best potential qualifying catalog (The Amanda Palmer Solution) then combine I shall. Sound good? Good. Suggestions, comment away my dear 'netizens, I cannot confirm I will heed your advice, but I will most assuredly listen.

Now, to begin digging through the 1,400 separate artist listings on my iTunes playlist, determine the qualifiers, and assemble the Top 100…

I’m dropping this post to explain that I’ll check in as I go, and throughout the playlist making process. Also as a sort of trail for the authorities should the overwhelming obsession lead to CSD Julie murdering me and disposing of my body rather than having to listen to me endlessly debate with myself about just which tracks to pull off of the Beach Boys Pet Sounds. By the way, if this is going out posthumously, she dumped me somewhere off of Ortega Highway, and Wouldn’t It Be Nice, God Only Knows, and I Know There’s an Answer and/or Hang On To Your Ego, but I mean, they’re really the same song, right? But that’s kind of the brilliance of the tracks, isn’t it? You kind of need both to really make it work, but taking both kills space for a lot of other great Beach Boys tunes from other records, and I don’t know if I can really afford to take 4 tracks from this one album, even if it is their best work, and I’m already cutting out Sloop John B, and…

Homicide. Justified.

For the record, the 50-state-strategy is still in effect, but seriously, this sounds like a hell of a lot more fun than finding bands from Oklahoma. I’ll get there eventually…

Every Elvis Has His Army

2011-03-04T17:05:00.000-08:00

1997 was a prophetic year. I was convinced I had my life figured out. I mean, what else was there to learn? I was away from home, makin’ it on my own as they say, ready to implement a life plan that would make me the envy of 19 year olds everywhere. Sure, I was slinging sandwiches for less than a grand a month, hanging on to my failed attempt at higher education by a fingernail, smoking a pack of Winstons a day, living with the soon-to-be-ex-love-of-my-life (shocking how high school romances have a tendency to do that), and still years away from meeting my true soul mate, who showed be what making a life together is REALLY all about. C’mon though, I was NINETEEN, employed, shacked-up, had a car, and money for smokes. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

Yeah, in 1998 the bottom dropped out. Within 12 months I was working an office job, single, back at home, re-examining the last years of my life and wondering what I was supposed to do next, but one event from 1997 stuck, in a big way. That fateful summer I went from casual listener of one Mr. Elvis Costello into knock-down-drag-out-super-fanatic-to-the-extreme, which I remain to this day, as one could ascertain from the title of the blog, and this post.

I point out the demarcation year because it paints an important frame of reference for my Costello fandom. Prior to that summer, my exposure to Elvis was limited to a cassette copy of 1991’s Mighty Like a Rose, and a CD copy of the 1994 collection The Very Best of Elvis Costello and The Attractions 1977-86 (Thank you Columbia House!). My point is, aside from the aforementioned album and collection, as far as I was concerned, every Elvis Costello album might as well have been released post 1997, and as a relatively under-knowledged listener, it pretty well seemed that the Costello catalog was more or less complete. The last original rock recording had been 1994’s Brutal Youth, which incidentally, for non-Elvis aficionados, is as good a place to start as any. Yes, there had been ‘other’ stuff, like the ’95 covers collection Kojak Variety, 96’s classically inspired All This Useless Beauty, and a few pre-Bacharach compilations with other artists, but again I was young and stupid and thought the 20 or so studio albums already in circulation was about all the Elvis I would every have a chance to hear.

Hindsight being 20-20, we now know that the prolific Declan Patrick MacManus would release 12 more studio albums, 2 live albums, 3 collections, 3 box sets, appear as an actor in multiple movies and TV shows, have his own talk variety show, receive an Academy Award nomination, and be enshrined in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame all in a span of thirteen years. Certainly, accomplishments worthy of a career on their own, even without what had come before.

That leads me to the meat of this blog sandwich. Using the year of my fandom as a deviding point, what are the absolute best Elvis albums released post 1997? As mentioned above, there are a total of 12 studio albums to choose from. We’ll blow out live performances, collections, and box sets as they are chock full of older material, and by the same token, remove cover collections, guest appearances, classical compositions, and jazz, because one cannot truly compare apples to oranges, or in this case, apples to persimmons, mangos, or other exotic fruit of your choice. We’ll stick with what can classically be called pop-rock albums, and all the sub-genres that entails.

Reducing the criteria thusly, we’re left with six albums in the eight years between 2002 and 2010. That’s the kind of sample size I can sink my teeth into. I’ll take a look at each one individually, and then do the-single-most-important-thing-a-person-can-possibly-do-with-an-internet-blog-post-anywhere-ever. That’s right, I’ll RANK THEM!!!

Mind. BLOWN.

First though, in order of chronology:

2002 When I Was Cruel- Elvis returns! WIWC was the first return to the rock genres since arguably 1996’s All This Useless Beauty, though considering the very classical underpinnings of that record, it’s really a first since the at the time eight year old Brutal Youth. Consider that for a minute. In the eight years since WIWC, Elvis has dropped five more rock genre albums after releasing arguably none in the eight years previous. So much for entering the twilight of his career… Anyhoo, WIWC was an absolute success in returning Elvis to the world of Rock and Roll. Huge basslines, two quantifiable hits in ‘45’ and ’15 Petals’ a top 20 spot on the Billboard hot 200 album chart, and 15 back-to-back sing along tracks announcing to the world that Elvis had most certainly NOT left the building, and Mr. Costello will certainly make a hell of a lot of racket when he does. Elvis worked with a “New” backup band on this one, going by the name ‘The Imposters’. For the uninitiated, the ‘Imposters’, ‘Attractions’, ‘Costello Show’, ‘Confederates’, and ‘Sugarcanes’ all feature Steve Nieve and Pete Thomas with only Bruce Thomas (no relation) not remaining in the fold, Thomas the Bruce being replaced by bassist Davey Faragher. I’ll end each summation with a list of top tracks from the album. From this one, you can listen to the whole damn thing. It’s just plain good, and varied, front to back. Some best-of-the-best cross section tracks would include 45, When I Was Cruel No. 2, Daddy Can I Turn This, Episode of Blonde, and Radio Silence. I don't want to take anythign away from the big reveal, but the name of the post is a line from WIWC#2...

2003 North- Michael Caine is famously quoted as saying he picks movies to do “One for the Art, and One for the Money”. As a result, Caine has a prolific, varied, and extremely entertaining body of work. I’m not sure which ones Elvis does for Art or Money, but the contrast between WIWC and North is definitely varied and entertaining. While Cruel attacks you from the first chord with the sharp edge of Rock and Roll, North is like a glass of scotch on a rainy Sunday. It’s numbing and comfortable. It warms you up while still reminding you how cold you can be. A collection of Sinatra style torch songs designed to transport the listener back to the days where the voice was an instrument, not simply a weapon. Like Elvis did for Country tunes with 1981's Almost Blue, and with pop vocals during the Bacharach sessions of 1998s Painted from Memory, he has now done for jazz vocals with North. From a collector’s point of view, it’s frustrating as hell, because you cannot genre sort Elvis Costello. Oh well, I guess the awesome range of music is some small consolation. North is billed as a solo album, but includes The Imposters on most tracks with the exception of the title track, and Fallen. Top tunes: ‘Someone Took the Words Away’, ‘Still’, ‘I’m in the Mood Again’

2004 The Delivery Man- If one was to put Almost Blue, When I Was Cruel, and North in a blender, and dash it with a bit of Oscar magic, one would end up with a packaged product called The Delivery Man. A mix of rock, country, jazz vocals, old-American folk, and a star studded cast really put a shine on this perfect example of everything Elvis is in the new millennium. Working with The Imposters and artists Emmylou Harris, Lucinda Williams, and T-Bone Burnett among others, this album is a perfect celebration of Elvis’ 2003 induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. If you wonder why he got in, he delivers the goods on this one. During the same year, Costello co-wrote the songs on wife Diana Krall’s The Girl in the Other Room, and performed his nominated track "The Scarlet Tide" at the Academy Awards. Top tunes: Button My Lip, There’s a Story in your Voice, The Delivery Man, The Judgment, The Scarlet Tide.

2008 Momofuku- Elvis took a hiatus from mainstream rock albums after Delivery Man, if by ‘Hiatus’ you mean released a classical suite, a jazz piano album, and a vocal duet collection with Allen Toussaint all while scheduling, shooting, and selling the first season of Spectacle for UK, Canadian, and US television. At any rate, there were no more rock records for about four years, but when Elvis got back on the horse, he brought a throwback style reticent of early 80’s Attractions records Get Happy!! and Trust. As with Delivery, and darn near everything Elvis as done in the last 10+ years, he didn’t do it alone. Momofuku, so named for Momofuku Ando, the Japanese inventor of instant ramen noodles (a tongue in cheek reference to how quickly the album was put together) included backing vocals from Rilo Kiley front woman Jenny Lewis, a favor Elvis would return by dueting on the track “Carpetbaggers” from Lewis’ absolutely flawless Acid Tongue album later in the year. Momofuku also marked a new distribution style for Elvis as it was the first album he offered initially as a digital download. The trend would continue on future releases. Top tunes: This is another one that’s great all the way through, but you can hear some different Elvis styles on American Gangster Time, Harry Worth, Flutter and Wow, Mr. Feathers, and My Three Sons

2009 Secret, Profane & Sugarcane- Expanding upon the Americana of previous album King of America, and his Oscar nod The Scarlet Tide Elvis opted for an acoustic band, recorded with produced T Bone Burnett, and knocked out the record in a three day recording session in Nashville, Tennessee. One of the biggest selling points of the record is that it was blasted in a review by Pitchfork Media. Any album that upsets those poser douchebags automatically gets 2 thumbs up from me. In defense of the hipster trash site, Secret doesn’t resonate with me quite as much as the albums before it, but it does hit the chords Elvis was going for with additional collaborations with Country artists Emmylou Harris, Stuart Duncan, Jerry Douglas and featuring a track co-written by Loretta Lynn. Pitchfork dismissively referred to the album as “yet another entry in Costello's string of gestural albums”, which says much more about the assholes at Pitchfork than it does about the quality of the recording. Sorry not every album released in the new millennium is over-produced-fuzz-pop-noise, Pitchfork. Down another PBR and have a debate about who’s more intentionally ironic while gunning to catch Ashton Kutcher’s prolific Twitter following. Dicks. Wow… Geez… I mean, Top tracks include: The acoustic send up of a Costello classic Complicated Shadows, My All Time Doll, I Dreamed of My Old Lover, and Sulphur to Sugarcane.

2010 National Ransom- Ransom picked up where Secret left off, expanding Costello’s foray into Americana to include the Best Coast as well as Country and Blues roots. Recorded both in Nashville and Los Angeles, Elvis and his Imposters, nee Sugarcanes, trade in the acoustic setup of Secret for a stripped down, plugged in throwback to garage rock. Think Creedence with a killer fiddle player adding harmony, and the trademark Attractions organ. Costello adds another layer of depth by not just plugging in, but beefing up lyrics to tackle the American debt, religious debate, and gun control along with the regular recurring themes of lost and found love that seem to transcend genre through Costello’s catalog. An incredibly interesting contrast is the track Jimmie Standing in the Rain, lyrics depicting a working class Brit forgotten and dismissed by his nation behind a civil war era ultra-American tune. Makes sense coming from the mind of a British born son of Irish immigrants tapping into the roots of Americana. This album was released about 5 months before this writing, and admittedly I’m still digesting it. Consider that caveat when I divulge the ever-important rankings… Top tracks include: The first half of the album National Ransom, Jimmie Standing in the Rain, Stations of the Cross, A Slow Drag with Josephine, Five Small Words, Church Underground, You Hung the Moon, Bullets for the New-Born King. Perhaps others as well, I haven’t digested the 2nd half of the album as fully as the first.

With that, only one task of tremendous import remains. The Internet would be nothing more than a series of tubes were it not for the arbitrary rankings of sycophant bloggers, expressing their opinion as though it were written in stone. Far be it from me to undermine the value or the entire World Wide Web, so without further adieu, from six to one…

#6 Secret, Profane & Sugarcane: Coming in last in this contest is kind of like being the last person across the finish line at the Indy 500. You just got to drive a super tuned open wheel racer for 500 miles at over 200 MPH, and you didn’t crash. First or last, you still beat out a good number of the folks who showed up to race.

#5 North: A beautifully crafted love letter to his new wife, Elvis tackled vocal jazz with aplomb. As a fan of Costello classics like My Aim Is True, Armed Forces and Blood & Chocolate, this album had no chance of ranking any higher. That being said, it would still fit on my top 10 list of albums released in 2003.

#4 National Ransom: Remember the all important caveat. Six months from now this record could fall anywhere in the top 4. Based on the first 8 tracks it’s going to best Secret and North, and would fall very close to the top of my 2010 albums of the year, in what was in my opinion, a pretty good year for new music.

#3 The Delivery Man: In a week this might be #2. In two weeks, it might be #4. Right at this minute, it is #3 based more on the strength of the #2 album than on its content. Picks up major points for There’s a Story in your Voice, loses a few for The Scarlet Tide, just because I don’t need to hear that song anymore for a while. I’ve listened to it a lot.

#2 Momofuku: For an album Costello compared to the simplicity of instant ramen, I think it’s fucking brilliant. That could say as much about me as it does about the album. Of the six, this is the album that tries the least to hit a theme. It is eclectic, dirty, wild, and packaged without much thought given to flow. For those very reasons, and for the organ backing on American Gangster Time, #2 belongs to Fuku

#1 When I Was Cruel: I spilled the beans halfway through. I would totally not blame you if you stopped reading above the fold; after all, I know you were only here to see what #1 was. In my defense, it’s kind of a no brainer. Drive through the desert, throw on this album crank the speakers to eleven, and allow the bass, vocals, and ennui drenched in the emotions of a man transitioning from one marriage to another, one career to another, one life to another to seep into every pore. This album turned me from a simple Convert into a Missionary. Let me teach you, one Spooky Girlfriend at a time.

I know I haven't posted for awhile

2011-02-18T23:07:00.000-08:00

I'm currently in 140 character mode. If you want to follow my comings and goings, feel free to do so at Twitter. User name OCKerouac. I post about what I'm listening to, and whatever else comes to mind.

I'll likely resurect the blog at some point. I just got a new system, so maybe soon. In the mean time, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, I just haven't come up with anything blog worthy.

2009-11-20T11:34:00.001-08:00

It's a grand day. IPod Now displays Spock's Beard album art. Vieve' le Prog!

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2009-11-04T11:50:00.001-08:00

SHOULDA BEEN GO-ONE!!

That is all...

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Election Day

2009-11-03T08:05:00.000-08:00

It being an odd year, there's nothing too exciting about that... So I'm voting for Arcadia...

That is all

2009-11-02T15:20:00.001-08:00

Larry the Lycan joins my Angels SI plaque, my Chuck Finley HoF give away, and my department hat as an upper-desk accessory. Got to love after Halloween sales...

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An eve' most-hallowed

2009-10-30T13:01:00.000-07:00

For all those out there who know of me beyond the circuits and lights that make up my online personage, you know I am a fan of the macabre... I enjoy true crime stories, horror flicks, and all manner of lurid media. As a result, Halloween is kind of a special faux holiday round The Dance. Mostly because it's an excuse to be creepy without ending up on any government funded watch lists.

I know, I know, Al Jourgensen would tell me that EVERYDAY is Halloween... Well, at least, 25-years-ago-Al-Jourgensen would have... Now he'd likely scream gibberish at me, do a darkly entertaining version of Dylan's 'Lay Lady Lay', and attempt to rip out by jugular vein with his bare hands.

Anyhoo... My point was that 'tis the season to rock out with your crazy out... Here are a few ways to do just that...

-Enjoy reading of murders most foul, and in some cases, bizarre over at the Crime Library. There's even a story about the Vampire of Sacramento... Yup, Sacramento had a vampire... Bet you didn't know...

- Arbogast is offering up brilliant send ups of classic horror flick screams, and mixing in some hauntingly good tunes over at his blog. But beware, my entries will look like they were banged out by a 4 year old chimp once you've read the elegant stylings of a true professional...

- Find yourself a party! I shall be attending a few, and *may* even post photos...

- Oh, and before I forget, wish a happy birthday to a woman who should be revered as an inspiration for rockin' lasses the world over, but now prefers a solitary existence in Montana... Grace Slick turns a mind-numbing 70 years old today. Reminding us all that time waits for no one. Even the plastic and fantastic...

If any of you ladies out there have yet to pin down a costume plan, you could do worse than the fabulous Ms. Slick... Just shoot for 1960's Cher and take off the headdress...

Here are the high flyin' San Franciscan's of Jefferson Airplane in their heyday on the Smothers Brother's comedy hour...

Have a delightfully chilling holiday with somebody YOU love...

Ohio: How'd you get so cool?

2009-10-27T13:24:00.000-07:00

If you were to envision a chunk of land nestled between Indiana, Kentucky, and West Virginia, you'd likely think of a very mid-western rooted, down-home wisdom, hard working blue collar kind of place. I'm sure Ohio IS in fact all those things, but it's also progressive in culture, music, and politics. It's home to some very large cities, is the disputed birthplace of the very 'American' past times of both baseball and football, and houses the Rock n' Roll hall of fame.

It was also the setting for the Spielberg classic Howard The Duck.

Seriously, Ohio, how did you get to be so damn cool?

Hold up a minute. I gotta say, I like the movie a whole lot more than most people do, but that duck is just WIERD lookin'. I blame the Cal Ripken Jr. eyes...

If we've learned anything from this process about the inherent coolness of a particular region of our fine nation, we have learned that people tend to help make things cool, and Ohio is no exception.

Despite being on the below-average side in total land area (34th out of the 50 states) Ohio cracks the top 10 in terms of population, coming in 7th over all. The mere law of averages dictates that when you've got that many people, there's a pretty darn good chance a bunch of them are going to be cool. Despite the high population currently within Ohio, the state is currently suffering from negative population migration, which while in general isn't good for the overall health of a state, it does make it far easier to get in to the Olive Garden.

That's called the power of positive thinking, Buckeyes!

Ohio owes much of it's present day status as the hub of the American experience to it's positioning in relation to the rest of the nation, and continent. The state's location makes it a weigh station between the eastern seaboard and the great plains of the midwest, falling within 1 days drive of 50% of the population of the entire continent of North America. So chin up other staters, none of us are every really that far from Cleveland!

It also stands to reason that great centers of thought and reason in this country would feature a high number of nationally known universities. Ohio scores a bolded check mark in this arena as well. As a matter of fact, the state's capital and largest city is really nothing more than a college town.

Columbus, Ohio is home to THE Ohio State University, Franklin University, Capital University, and Ohio Dominican University. Suffice it to say there are easier places to find a low key bar on a Friday night. However, if you're in the market for a beer-bong, you've likely found your shopping destination.

Cincinatti, Ohio gives us... The Begals... Ooh.. and WKRP!

Another thing one could garner from one's greater blog perusing experience is that I tend to give great credit to states that feature musicians or musical acts that I have a personal fondness toward. Again, Ohio is no exception. I'm currently in the beginning stages of researching the history of this great state, and I've already got my selections all wrapped up. Only time, and the next few paragraphs will tell if I mind is changed by my further research...

See, I've just gone and set myself up for failure here. Because while there may be a few moments of suspense in it for me, you don't HAVE to wait to see if my selections match my initial impressions. As a matter of fact, you're not even going to KNOW if I changed my mind until you've read where I ultimately ended up. This whole false sense of drama is nothing more than a sham... A ruse... A cunning moment of delay designed less to increase one's anticipation, and more just to further infuriate all of those who've taken the time to stop by and listen to my inane blather.

Why do I do this to myself? There's pretty much nothing I can do at this point to make these particular selections creative enough to fulfill the false starts I've force you to endure.

So here they are, suck on it.

But...

This dude wants you to WAIT...

Before I go and do that, a nod to the absolute brilliance that Ohio has to offer. Artists that did NOT make the final cut. Please know that if any of you had bothered to be from North Dakota, or Montana, or West Virginia, you'd have yourselves a spot on the blogroll...

- Tracy Chapman
- Bootsy Collins
- The Breeders (Kim and Kelley Deal)
- Macy Gray
- Dave Grohl
- Screamin' Jay Hawkins
- Maynard James Keenan (Tool, A Perfect Circle)
- Marilyn Manson (The guy, the BAND is from Florida)
- Dean Martin (ALMOST cracked the list)
- The O'Jays
- Johnny Paycheck (I love me some 'Take that Job and Shove It')
- The Raspberries
- Roy Rogers
- Boz Skaggs
- Joe Walsh
- Scott Weiland

Log ye protests as ye may...

Solo Artist: Trent Reznor
No one is indifferent when it comes to Nine Inch Nails. You either embrace the shrieking evil, or you label Trent et. all a bunch of tools and move on. I'm firmly in the former camp. True, there were some questionable moments in there (The Fragile) but all in all Reznor, along with a rapidly revolving backup cast, managed to release a pretty complete body of work. Besides, everybody gets one self indulgent art-album... Sometimes MORE than one... I'm looking at YOU, REM...

As I've established, there's not too many folks out there who're still on the fence about Reznor. I do however feels it's my duty as a fan and a self-important aficionado of whatever I choose to try and change a few minds, or cement a few opinions into the 'this guy is pretty cool' camp. Here's a list of pseudo-accomplishments with which one could give at least partial credit to Reznor, and his body of work.

- There's this genre called 'Industrial', yeah, that wouldn't have really happened without Nine Inch Nails. It would still be called 'Krautrock.'

- You know that Marilyn Manson dude? Trent says 'you're welcome'... or 'sorry'... depending on how that makes you feel...

- Eventually, you're going to run out of Peter Murphy, or Jesus & Mary Chain to listen to. Trent's there for you. No need to throw out your all black wardrobe.

- Dude invented his own revolving keyboard stand using a work bench and a lazy-susan. You don't have to like the guy's music, but it's not like K Fed can say that...

- He gave away an album for free. Everybody likes free stuff!

-He's an American, and David Bowie is afraid of him.

-My iPod just randomly started playing the above linked song out of a playlist of over 14,000 tunes... Creepy effing iPod... I don't think Reznor can be credited with this one though...

Reznor isn't all amount the screaming and hurting and chasing down Brit tourists... He's still got a soft side...

Group: The Pretenders
In all fairness, I should have made 'Nine Inch Nails' my group, and lead Pretender Chrissie Hynde my solo artist. After all, Reznor was 'technically' born in Pennsylvania, and The Pretenders 'technically' became a 'band' in Britain, but Chrissie, the only full-time Pretender, is a Buckeye, born and raised.

So you're probably wondering, instead of chastising myself for a poor placement of artists, why don't I just switch them? After all, it's MY blog, I don't have to ask permission or anything, and I've even mastered the 'cut' and extra-tricky 'paste' functionality of this computer... So what gives?

I'll tell you what gives... I don't really care where The Pretenders 'technically' became a band. If you listen through their catalog, you have to admit they rank amongst the top 'American' style bands of the 70's. Chrissie SINGS about America. They play like American contemporaries like The Cars, only with a slight Brit swagger.

You know what, America used to have a slight Brit swagger too... round about 1776...

Honestly, had I started this blog series with Ohio, I'd have a heck of a hard time figuring out what states I'd have left to do. I also likely would not have chosen The Pretenders. For some reason, for the longest time, they were always a band I 'liked', but never enough to actually own any albums, or actively chose to listen to them. I wouldn't turn the station when I heard them on the radio, but it was about a year ago that I finally broke down and bought the Pirate Radio box set. In my defense, there WAS no complete box set of The Pretenders prior to 2006, so it's not like I was THAT far behind the curve...

Anyhow, what I found really surprised me. I didn't just 'kinda like' The Pretenders, I really REALLY liked them. Like, I might want to ask them to go steady like them. Like, if I had a letterman jacket, I'd totally give it to them like them. Like, my heart would be broken if I saw The Pretenders kissing some other dude under the football bleachers like them...

OK, you get the point. Watch the video for Brass In Pocket and let me collect my thoughts.

Honorable Mention: Mark Mothersbaugh

Is he not man? He is Devo. But beyond that, and really isn't THAT enough? He is also the man behind the musical scores for all of Wes Anderson's movies, he used to be in a band with the above mentioned Chrissie Hynde, he scores countless cartoons and video games, and if you believe his Wiki page, is quite accomplished at Cricket and pickleball.

More interesting for those of us who are ocularly challenged, without the use of his well known specs, Mothersbaugh is legally blind. Nerds unite!!

Life is better with a little Whip It. Trust me.

For those curious, my initial Honorable Mention was going to be the sisters Deal, who brought us The Breeders, but I already gave Kim some love by selecting The Pixies for Massachusetts, and Kelley, well, sorry, but you've never worn a flower pot on your head...

Next on the old alphabetical end result of Manifest Destiny, Oklahoma! I hear they have wind that goes whistling through the plain...

North Dakota: Land of... well... Land I guess...

2009-10-26T12:20:00.000-07:00

So we're going to do this one in the opposite order, because no one worth writing about musically is from North Dakota.

We'll start with the artists, give them pictures, and links to their Wikipedia pages, but I'm not going to try and convince anybody that I actually care about any of these folks, or that I consider them 'Artists'. Admittedly, I've actually found new artists I would not have previously listened to were it not for this set of posts, but as far as North Dakota is concerned however, I don't see that happening.

I'm also going to use the term 'band' loosely... And by loosely, I mean, I'm just going to name a person instead. If you have an issue with that decision, please feel free to send me some sort of fee so I can in turn send it back with my sincere apologies...

Solo: Peggy Lee
Peggy Lee sang a lot of standards, and even wrote a few songs. Most noteworthy, she penned the tunes from the Disney animated feature Lady and the Tramp, and provided vocals for four of the characters.

I believe that means there are more animated Disney characters voiced by North Dakotans then there are ACTUAL North Dakotans.

As Rock n' Roll began to dominate the airwaves in the 50's and 60's, Peggy Lee began to cover songs by the hit artists of the day like The Beatles, Randy Newman, Carole King, and James Taylor. If you've ever contemplated bulimia, but can't get past the whole 'finger down the throat' part, this may be a good place to start...

Honestly, I have no more to say about Ms. Lee. I simply wanted to fill enough space to make the artist pictures work well on the blog...

Band: Lawrence Welk
Polka your eyes out, folks! At least now you know which of the states in our great nation is to blame for the cultural experiment that is Lawrence Welk.

Most people who are in any way familiar with Welk, and specifically his odd speaking style, would likely be surprised to learn he was born in the United States.

The reason for his very eastern European sounding speech is that he was born to a family who spoke German, and first learned English in grade school from teachers with Russian accents. Apparently when you cross Russian-accented-English with a native German speaker, you get Lawrence Welk.

Welk was also married for 61 years. Good on you Mr. Welk! More impressively, great job Mrs. Welk... I can't fathom 61 years of accordion...

(Dis)Honorable Mention: Bobby Vee

I have nothing against Bobby Vee, but seriously, there's nothing honorable about his mention. He's mentioned because he's from North Dakota.

He had a #1 hit with 'Take Good Care of My Baby', and his career began in a morbid fashion, filling in for Buddy Holly at a concert in Moorhead, Minnesota the day after Holly died with The Big Bopper and Richie Valens in a plane crash.

Interesting? Most certainly. Influential, not so much.

Bobby still tours internationally, just going to show that one hit and a string of filler tunes can set you up with a career for life if you play your cards right. Add to that a life that began in North Dakota, and you'll even get a snark-filled write up in some random dude's blog. Way to go, Mr. Vee!

OK, now that we've dispensed with those useless pleasantries, I give you the great state of North Dakota, all 6th grade Social Studies style...

North Dakota is to the north of South Dakota and it's really, really, really, really, really, empty.

Is that 100 words yet?

Oh, wait... I'm writing this LIKE a 6th grade social studies report, not FOR a 6th grade social studies report... Let's try this again...

North Dakota is a land of bemusement and frigidity, where hopes and dreams hibernate under a perpetual blanket of snow. I'm sure there are two or three days a year where the temperature creeps above the freezing point, and round about mid-August, there's probably some light snow thaw. I'm guessing that's when the bugs arrive, and terrorize the scant community for two to three weeks before the winds start to blow in from the north, causing said bugs to freeze in mid air, and drop to the ground with no regard for the 7 or 8 state residents who may be standing under them.

Seriously. Why do people still live in North Dakota? DO people still live in North Dakota? Isn't that just the place where the 40 people in Montana dump their trash?

Man, from the vitriol, you'd think North Dakota killed my whole family, leaving me to fend for myself in a harsh world that doesn't like my circus acrobat kind... You'd be under the impression North Dakota led me to engaging in a fist fight in Acapulco with a famous cliff diver. You'd think North Dakota bore in me such great feelings of guilt that *I* in turn would have to cliff dive in place of the person I beat up...

Yes, from my great words of disdain, you'd think North Dakota was the villain in Elvis Presley's Fun in Acapulco...

Alas, North Dakota isn't that interesting. It's just a big hunk of land. A big hunk of land that could very easily be merged with South Dakota to make one big useless state of Dakota... Wait now, before you go all 'But then we'd have to change the flag!!' on me, we could totally split California instead. That sure would have made THAT post an easier one...

Wikipedia tells me that North Dakota is the 19th largest state by land mass, and the 3rd least populous. As a matter of fact, North Dakota has less people than Orange County, California.

The city of Los Angeles has more residents than North Dakota.

NINETEEN cities in this country have more residents than North Dakota...

Indianapolis...

Jacksonville, Florida...

Columbus Frickin' Ohio...

Memphis, Tennessee's mayor AC Wharton, influences more lives than does John Hoeven, governor of North Dakota, but the dude has a hell of a soup strainer...

Speaking of Memphis mayor AC Wharton, he just assumed the office TODAY (October 26th, 2009) after winning a special election on 10/15. Congrat's mayor Wharton, you are now more politically powerful than John Hoeven.

Sorry, Governor Hoeven, I just tell it like it is...

North Dakota has got to be a great place to get yourself some reasonably priced real estate. The state's population has been declining consistently since 1990, and even more surprising, has actually declined from it's highest point, which occurred in 1930...

Seriously. There are less people in North Dakota NOW then there was in NINETEEN-THIRTY.

In comparison, the population of the US has increased by 228% since 1930. The population of North Dakota has decreased by 6%.

North Dakota's largest city, Fargo, best known for having a Coen brothers film named after it, sports the motto 'Gateway to the West'.

Missouri's St. Louis, some 800 miles south along I29, disagrees. They've even got a big arch that says so.

May I suggest that Fargo change it's motto to 'The Gateway to 1,00 Miles of Nothing'.

Perhaps that's why I don't have a PR job...

You know, I think that'll just about do it. If you'd like to know more about the state of North Dakota, I encourage you to do so. Give it another 15 or 20 minutes of solid research, and you could even be the world's foremost scholar on North Dakota's history. Wouldn't THAT be something...

Next up, we'll visit the home of the GIGANTIC city of Columbus. Watch out for Ohio...

North Carolina: Home of American Idols...

2009-10-14T15:45:00.001-07:00

...but none are making THIS list...

I'll make mention of it, but only as an oddity. North Carolina is home to four American Idol finalists. That seems like an awful lot for one state. So much so in fact, I think the state of North Carolina MAY have found a way to rig American Idol voting. Just sayin'...

OK, now, on to many more interesting NC facts, and far less reality TV...

All hail scripted television!

First off, I'm returning to the old format, mostly because North Carolina is no New York, and while there is a lively history of jazz and a smattering of indie rock cred in the north half of Carolina Province, it doesn't have the level of talent New York does... Besides, I'm feeling punchy, so on with the Wiki-facts!!

- North Carolina is geographically located just to the north of South Carolina, and just to the east of No Kidding, Jackass.

- North Carolina was the site of the first successful, controlled, powered, and sustained heavier-than-air flights. So those 'First In Flight' license plates aren't full of crap after all. But I'll have you know I STILL cant ski, Utah...

- North Carolina has a wide range of terrain, and climates. There are coastal beaches, mountainous passes, highland plains, and all sorts of weather conditions, so if you were wondering what to pack on your next visit to North Carolina, pack everything.

- North Carolina is also known for losing colonists. To this day, North Carolinians tend to get lost easily. So much so in fact that native son Andy Griffith once got lost in his own bathroom and was not heard from for three weeks. This tragic incident led to the premature cancellation of TV's Matlock.

- There was nothing premature about the cancellation of TV's Matlock. Leave 'em wanting more, that's what I always say...

- For the record, I don't want any more Matlock, I tend to think life as we know if would be far better with LESS Matlock gracing the subconscious minds of the elderly.

- From the dead-horse-beating I've given this gag, I obviously NEVER 'leave 'em wanting more'.

- The decade-over-decade growth of North Carolina makes it the fastest growing state east of the Mississippi River. At the current rate of growth, the population of North Carolina in the year 2050 will be 235 billion people... Really...

- I just made that up, but still, it's growing, like, fast...

- The lightly populated areas of North Carolina are crawling with Ninjas.

- I didn't make that up... It's totally true. Ninjas. EVERYWHERE.

- In the late 80's, a rag-tag bunch of North Carolinians, led by Ava Gardner and Ben Vereen went ninja hunting in the back woods of the blue ridge mountains. Of the 200 volunteers who entered the ninja laden forest, only a dozen lived to tell the tale.

- The events of the bloody three week standoff are recounted in the upcoming Ben Vereen film, Tapioca.

- Ava Gardner suffered wounds from a ninja attack that eventually led to her death in 1990. Medical reports claim her death was due to complications from multiple strokes, but in actuality, it was the thousand hand slap of a hidden ninja assassin that resulted in her ultimate demise.

- Those who survived the bloody melee unscathed are said to have a super-human survival instinct. Hence the continued livelihood of Soupy Sales.

Ok, this is getting out of hand. Let's just get on with the music, shall we?

Solo Artist: Thelonious Monk

I'm not one of those 'jazz fans.' I prefer rock, punk, prog, industrial, and folk to jazz, but I do make rare exceptions to delve into the birth-genre of all modern music. One of the most notable of those exceptions is the piano master Thelonious Monk.

Not being one of those 'jazz fans', I can't give you a technical schooling on why Monk is at the top of my jazz heap, I can't even tell you what tempo or meter he tends to live in. I can however tell you that listening to Thelonious Monk is like the first drag on a cigarette, the first sip of a whiskey on the rocks, and the first glimpse of a sultry dame all in one. His tunes sound like a dark jazz club on a Chicago city street, lit by a few bare bulbs and table top candles, muted by a perpetual fog of Marlboro's and dulled by the acute din of just-one-too-many.

It's not safe to listen to Monk in the car... You could get pulled over...

Not being one of those 'mood music' fans, I'm still at a loss that my only real love of Monk comes from the state of mind it puts me in, but I think that might be another reason for the appeal. I really CAN'T explain why I dig these tunes, but I do anyway. There's something transcendent about that. As if in a former life I WAS one of those 'jazz fans.'

Oh the horror...

Band: Ben Folds Five

I am certainly one of those 'indie rock fans'. True, I don't own any Birkenstocks or wear a beret, but I do own and routinely listen to every REM album, and I tend to immediately fall for 'unsigned' bands, even if they down right stink. I make no apologies, and recognize that I'm predispositioned to enjoy the music of Ben Folds.

I can be an automaton. I don't mind. As long as I'm my OWN automaton... Wait... Does that work? Maybe I should get a tribal arm band tattoo and start working from the Starbucks just to prove I'm an 'original'...

That being said, I'd like to think that had Ben Folds won season 1 of American Idol, which he would have had a great shot being from North Carolina and all, I would still enjoy his music. I'd likely be embarrassed by that, and roll up my windows every time my iPod started playing Army, but luckily that's a paradox I don't need to ponder. I can love my Ben Folds, AND continue to keep my finger on the pulse of underground-indie-rock-of-fifteen-years-ago.

Is there still a pulse?

Well, Ben still has one, and has recently released an album. I suggest you go buy it... But not TOO many of you, because then he'll be popular, and I'll have to hide my love away...

Here's a tune from Ben's latest, featuring the equally enjoyable Regina Spektor... If only Russia was a state...

Honorable Mention: John Coltrane

Don't let the consistent selection of jazz greats fool you. I'm REALLY not one of those 'jazz fans'. As a matter of fact, Coltrane is really more of a nod-to-the-legend pick, hence why he is the honorable mention and Thelonious is the solo artist. That's not to say that Coltrane doesn't put me in that same knock-back-a-drink-and-have-a-smoke mood that Monk does, but Coltrane also leaves me kind of paranoid and itchy. It's kind of like reading William S. Burroughs. If you're doing it right, you end up feeling strung out and hunted, and if you're doing it wrong, then there's really no point.

Unlike Burroughs, Coltrane fought his addictions, and even reputedly overcame his reliance on alcohol and heroin after a 1957 spiritual awakening that changed not only "Trane's" views on faith, but also radically changed his musical style.

Also unlike Burroughs, the years and years of hard living at an early age caught up with the saxophone virtuoso, taking him from us at the tender age of 40 years old. The official cause of death being liver cancer, though likely exacerbated by his alcohol and heroin use during the 40's and 50's.

Despite leaving us at an earlier than anticipated age, Coltrane was nothing if not prolific in his musical accomplishments, releasing over 50 recordings as a band leader, and sitting in on a number of other jazz works, especially those by Miles Davis and the above mentioned Thelonious Monk. All in just 21 years between 1946 and his death in 1967.

Trane's A Love Supreme is considered one of the masterworks of jazz, and a jumping off point for the prog and avant-garde rock genres. If that isn't reason enough for you to celebrate this man as one of the greats of North Carolina, then it's high time I called the ninjas...

Next up the hustle and bustle media Mecca of North Dakota... Woo Hoo...

New York: 'Bout Damn Time

2009-10-13T15:31:00.000-07:00

So it's been months, like, lots of them, since I completed a best-of-state post, and I'd kind of figured it was never going to happen, then I flipped my rock-quote-o-the-day calendar, and discovered the birthday of my planned solo-artist from the great state of New York, so what better birthday gift than to finally get off my lazy ass and complete another post?

Bee Tee Dub, that's a trick question... There IS no better gift than a fresh steaming pile of blog from yours truly...

So if you've been reading the blasts from the past, you know how this jazz works. I write some junk about the state, make up some junk and pass it off as inane fact, I chuckle to myself, everyone else gets bored, and I move on to posting about the musicians.

The thing is, I started that whole deal because Alaska is boring as hell, and Alabama isn't a whole lot better. New York on the other hand is about as un-boring as it gets. You've got the nation's largest city, fiercely loyal residents, a progressive culture, giant deli sandwiches, some really big water falls, a border with Canada, and the whole joint was originally settled by the Dutch, which officially makes it awesome.

It's also got just about every American musician who wasn't born in California, so there's plenty to talk about musically. That, and I think the reason these posts stopped was because I got tired of my own long-winded approach to blogging.

That's right, I typed MYSELF to boredom... I can only assume how the rest of you were feeling...

So without further ado, let's move on to the selections...

Solo Artist: Paul Simon

He's so much more than a solo artist, but so much more than an honorable mention. I've spent many an hour in tormented contemplation. Should I chose Billy Joel, or Neil Diamond? Sammy Davis Jr., or Cyndi Lauper? Harry Belafonte, or Fats Waller? Then October 13th happened, and Paul Simon had a birthday.

So happy birthday, Paul. There's no right answer here, and you're a hell of a long way from the wrong one.

So before you start hitting the comment button, Paul Simon WAS born in New Jersey, but he was less than 3 months old when his family moved to Queens. In my book, that makes him a New Yorker... Of course, had he been born in Wisconsin, we wouldn't be having this debate..

In 1957, Paul and his mop-headed friend Art Garfunkel graduated from playing high school dances and local dive bars to have a record released on the regional label Big Records under the pseudonyms Tom & Jerry. The single was called 'Hey, Schoolgirl' and was followed by a handful of other 'Tom & Jerry' recordings, amid a smattering of other pen-named local faves with Simon using the monikers 'Jerry Landis', 'Paul Kane', and 'True Taylor'. A few of these tunes even cracked the Billboard hot 100, but 1964 was the year the magic happened.

It was early in '64 that Columbia Records signed Simon and his soon-to-be musical shadow, Art Garfunkel to a contract under their true names. A fact that Paul Simon credits as the first time artists true ethnic names were used for a major label release. That album, Wednesday Morning 3AM, was much more folk-driven and spiritual than any or the duo's later works. With a new arrangement of the traditionals 'Benedictus', and 'Go Tell It on the Mountain', a modern-hymnal in 'You Can Tell the World', and a peace anthem 'Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream'. It also only contained 5 original Simon songs, perhaps leading to it's bleak early sales, that only picked up after the release of their 2nd album, which more heavily featured original works.

That album, 1966's Sounds of Silence is a masterpiece. Ten of the eleven tunes on the original release are Simon originals, and highlight not only the inspired lyrical content of his entire career, but also lended itself perfectly to the patented Simon & Garfunkel harmony that has become synonymous with their combined works, and in some ways, with 60's folk music itself. The plugged-in version of the title track which originally appeared in acoustic on their first release, to the final refrains of 'I Am a Rock', single handedly made me a fan of the 60's folk genre. I have never really gotten in to The Mamas and the Papas, or Peter, Paul & Mary, and at the time, hadn't been exposed to much Bob Dylan. My folk education began with Simon and Garfunkel, and I appreciate the lessons...

Unfortunately, there was trouble in the duo paradise, and it wouldn't be long until Paul got tired of Art's crap, or vice-versa, and they split up. This was really, REALLY bad news for Art, who went on the clean windows, or mop floors, or something, but it wasn't such a bad deal for Paul, who moved on to a lucrative solo career.

I can keep going with the recap, but you can get all that info from Wikipedia. I'd rather explain why *I* chose Paul Simon, especially because if you were to peruse my music collection, you would find I own more Billy Joel.

The answer is simple, Billy was born in May, and in May I wasn't ready to release the New York post...

Moving on...

Band: The Ramones

Those who don't listen to punk tend to regard it as a sub genre of rock. A relatively obscure sub genre at that. A musical movement that lasted roughly as long as Grunge or Surf-Rock, but that is absolutely not true.

Punk is a genre unto itself, a genre that inspired the sub genres of heavy metal, new wave, goth, emo, proto-punk, and changed the face of rock itself. As a matter of fact, I think I'll dedicate a different post to the Punk Family Tree. A tree rooted in Iggy & The Stooges and the MC5, a tree who's biggest branches are supported by The Sex Pistols, Television, and The Clash, but the trunk from which these branches grow is The Ramones.

While the Pistols were putting angst and screaming before instruments and melodies, Joey, Johnny, and Dee Dee Ramone were putting their own spin on the surf melodies they grew up on. That's the biggest difference between the gutter-punk sound of the London punk invasion, and the dance-punk sound coming out of New York. The Sex Pistols wanted to be famous, and figured guitars would help them get there. The Ramones wanted to play guitar, and figured being famous would let them do that.

The story of The Ramones is as much about their influence as it is their music. The Ramones have been credited with influencing The Clash, Black Flag, Social Distortion, The Descendents, Bad Religion, Bad Brains, Metallica, Foo Fighters, Lemon Heads, L7, Mojo Nixon, Green Day, and pretty much every other rock act that started playing after 1976. They were so much more than just Gabba Gabba Hey...

Honorable Mention: Lou Reed

When establishing the category of Honorable Mention, two names immediately came to mind. Brian Eno, and Lou Reed. Eno is a Brit, and therefore ineligible for a 50 state post, but Reed was born in Brooklyn, and has embodied the Rock n' Roll spirit, and New York 'Artiste' vibe since learning to play guitar by ear from listening to the radio as a kid.

Before mixing with John Cale, Sterling Morrison, and Maureen Tucker to form The Velvet Underground, or the foursome's fateful meeting with Andy Warhol that launched them into the New York club scene, Lou Reed was a session writer for Pickwick Records, churning out dance hits like 'The Ostrich' by implementing the chords and hooks he found in modern doo wop and jazz records. Thankfully for the world by and large, this was just a way to make a paycheck, and Lou soon found fellow artists who wanted to push the boundaries of rock art, helping him reach his ultimate goal, to "bring the sensitivities of the novel to rock music."

Personally, I first started listening to Lou Reed solo at about 16 years old, and didn't get into The Velvet Underground until about 10 years later. After a handful of casual listens, I couldn't understand what the fuss was about. There was nothing ground breaking about tracks like Walk on the Wild Side, Who Loves the Sun, or even a classic avant-garde tour de force like Heroin. It wasn't until I really took the time to think about the musical timeline of rock and roll that I understood the importance of this man and his music.

Basically, every rock album recorded in or after 1969 is just a compilation of the styles used on The Beatles' Sargent Pepper, and The Velvet Underground's Velvet Underground & Nico albums. The reason the music doesn't seem 'Revolutionary' now, is that the revolution is over, and Lou Reed was rock music's George Washington, commanding rock music's Continental Army against the tyranny of corporate record labels, churning out mindless dance numbers like those he used to pen.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying there wasn't good music before Lou Reed, but thanks to Lou Reed, we now have a better scale with which to grade.

So that's it. New York in a nutshell. Feel free to post your own opinions in the comments and let me know why I made a drastic mistake by not selecting {fill in the blank}.

Now that I've finished the unenvyable task of reducing New York to just three selections, I'm hoping to knock out the rest of the nation with great haste. Next on the list, North Carolina... Stick around...

From the inner sleeve of the Blood Sweat & Tears self titled 1969 debut.

2009-09-01T11:12:00.001-07:00

If only this were as true today as it was in 1969. Although the bullet point telling folks to 'Just stack them up on your automatic changer and relax' makes me cringe. I can only assume it was someones automatic changer that was responsible for the skip in my new Tom Jones album...

By the way, this latest soiree with my vinyl mistress was made possible by the fine folks at TKO Records.

Just as Night Ranger reminds us You Can Still Rock in America, TKO reminds us you can still purchase vinyl in the OC. Specifically at 18948 Brookhurst St. Fountain Valley, CA. 92708 or Online at http://www.tkorecords.com/

Please pay them a visit so they stay in business and continue to feed my addiction.

The Haul:

Make Way for Dionne Warwick

Howard Jones- Dream Into Action

Howard Jones- Action Ready

Television- Adventure

Blood Sweat & Tears- self titled

Aztec Camera- Knife

Tom Jones- It's Not Unusual

Simple Minds- New Gold Dream (81-82-83-84)

The Kingston Trio- Sunny Side

Elton John- Don't Shoot Me I'm Only the Piano Player

Elton John- A Single Man

Randy Newman- The Natural (soundtrack)

Pet Shop Boys- Left to My Own Devices (12" Single)

Nick Lowe and his Cowboy Outfit- All New Material

Wayne Newton- Live Hollywood Concert

America- Greatest Hits

Eagles- Desperado

Big Country- The Crossing

Gordon Lightfoot- Summer Side of Life

Peter, Paul & Mary- In Concert

The Turtles- Golden Hits

While I don't want to be one of 'those' people, who apologizes for their absence after every post, I do feel a slight explanation is in order. Work is taking up an exorbitant amount of time right now, and I'm currently taking a week off to recoup. Henceforth, the postingness...

That, and I totally wanted to plug TKO so you'll go spend all your money there... And by 'You', I mean the 2 people who might occasionally still check this blog for updates...

The machines. They live!

2009-05-20T13:58:00.000-07:00

Ipod is being creepy

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An Irish Holiday? It SHOULD Be...

2009-05-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

Whilst the most of us are celebrating all things motherly, we should all take a moment to raise a pint of Guiness, eat a potato, or express our righteous indegnation. Why you ask?

Because today a gentleman named Paul David Hewson turns fourty nine years old.

That's right, enigmatic U2 front man Bono is now just 364 days from being a fifty year old man. Just another reminder to all of us to gather ye rosebuds while ye... still have the ability to bend over comfortably.

For your celebrating pleasure, pick your favorite version of the One video:

Berlin

Restaurant

Buffalo

That's all from Chicago.

2009-04-24T16:44:00.001-07:00

So that will do it. 8 albums And half a continent. Thank goodness for business trips.

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Thelonious Monk: The Riverside Trios

2009-04-24T16:30:00.001-07:00

This one isn't going to thrill the wife, but Monk, like Joe Jackson, is an artist I always find myself looking for when ever I go in to a record shop. Typically, I find some. Sorry honey...

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The Pixies: Doolittle

2009-04-24T16:25:00.001-07:00

The album that inspired Kurt Cobain to pursue a career in music sounds like a great addition to a vinyl collection. Especially in a clean and new repressed version. Like dying and following a monkey to heaven...

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Joe Jackson: Night and Day

2009-04-24T16:18:00.000-07:00

I am starting a tradition of sorts. Last time I was in New York, I bought a vinly copy of Joe Jackson's Look Sharp. I guess this means if I go looking for vynil in a big city, I best find Mr. Jackson whist there.

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Tom Verlaine: Flash Light

2009-04-24T16:10:00.001-07:00

I went in looking for some 13th Floor Elevators. They had a section card, but alas no albums behind it. However, the next section was Television, and there in was this little sold solo work by leading man Tom Verlaine. A perfect example of the kind of thing I like to buy on vynil. Rare, but not over priced

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The Psychedelic Furs: Forever Now

2009-04-24T16:00:00.001-07:00

I don't know much from this one, but it includes President Gas which is in the Furs top 5, and it was four bucks. In MY math, that equals SOLD.

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Fleet Foxes: self Titled w/ Sun Giant EP

2009-04-24T15:53:00.000-07:00

I've blogged about them in a 'New Artists Whom I Enjoy' entry, and now had the pleasure of purchasing them on vinyl, complete with a digital download code, saving me the required time to rip it to MP3. Thanks for looking out for me, Foxes...

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Lou Reed: Berlin

2009-04-24T15:48:00.001-07:00

I feel like I've neglected my music collection by not owning this album. The best way I could think of to make up for this injustice was to purchase it on brand new reissued Legacy Vinyl.

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Killing Joke: Revelations

2009-04-24T15:38:00.001-07:00

Not too much to say about this one. An Irish guy I used to chat with back in the days of Napster used to send me their album tracks. It was cheap so I figured I'd give it a listen.

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The folowing were purchased from Dave's Records in Chicago

2009-04-24T15:31:00.001-07:00

I will send pics of each individually with a short blurb that will fit in my text message thousand character limit. Oh, I know it's been a while since I posted, but I'm posting now so quit yer whinin'... :p

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Happy St. Patty's!

2009-03-17T21:35:00.000-07:00

I'm on a business trip a few hundred miles from home, but thought I'd stop in and wish a Happy St. Patrick's Day to all the fine folks who stop by and take in the blog from time to time.

This time last year I was in New York, drinking too much Guinness and being overwhelmed by the ridiculous number of people who take to the streets for the parade. It's such a minor holiday in Southern California, so it was quite the shock to see how the 'other' coast lives...

Admittedly, I don't have a whole lot to say, but since I'm a good portion Irish, and tend to celebrate the music of the Emerald Isle, felt I shouldn't let the day pass without comment...

Here's a click from the rock doc 'Out of Ireland'

Oh, I'd also like a bit of commiseration... Here is how my hotel chose to commemorate this fine holiday...

That is all... Return to your lives...

Today’s Playlist Consists of…

2009-03-13T07:24:00.000-07:00

Belly- King and Star
REM- Accelerate and Document
Jimmy Eat World- Bleed American
The Killers- Day & Age
Joe Jackson- Look Sharp!
John Wesley Harding- Why We Fight
Juliana Hatfield Three- Become What You Are and For The Birds EP
Regina Spektor- Begin to Hope (w/ Music Box bonus track)
Squeeze- Singles - 45's and Under collection
Television- Marquee Moon
Frente!- Marvin the Album

Just thought I’d share how awesome my musical Friday is going to be… Carry on…

Happy Birthdays to a Rock Icon and an Overly-Famous Whiner

2009-03-12T06:49:00.000-07:00

First and foremost, just to get it out of the way, James Taylor is sixty one today. If you’re not familiar with my opinion of James Taylor than you haven’t been paying attention… Suffice it to say he’s the SECOND person described in the title of this post.

That being said, Happy Birthday none the less. I appreciate Mr. Taylor’s musical accomplishments if for no reason other than it helps me better gauge good music when there is bad music to compare it to.

I surfed through Taylor’s ‘greatest hits’ to come up with something worth posting here, but what I actually came away with was surprise that a man synonymous with 1970’s singer/songwriters has multiple tracks on ‘HIS’ ‘greatest hits’ collection written by OTHER PEOPLE! Don’t get me wrong, I’m aware that artists share each other’s songs, record covers and standards to sell tunes, and generally do not write all or in some cases any of their own material. I was however under the impression that the man who defines singer/songwriter sensitivity would at least have only originals on a greatest hits recording…

BTW, Taylor’s biggest hit, You’ve Got a Friend? Written by Carole King…

Sorry Sweet Baby James, I’ll give you the birthday shout out, but I can’t bring myself to post a song…

Secondly, and much, much more important, today is the sixty seventh birthday of Jefferson Airplane/Jefferson Starship co-founder Paul Kantner. Kantner, only responsible for recordings under the ‘Jefferson’ moniker, wrote and performed some of the best examples of the psychedelic rock era, rocked Journey-esque epic studio rock tunes through the 1970’s and played a show in Fountain Valley’s Mile Square Park in 1991 that was likely a shade of the former greatness of Airplane, but I got to see it live, so it was by far the best show ever… At least the best one performed for free in an Orange County public park…

Kantner’s involvement and over arching history of Jefferson Whatchamacalit now spans fourty four years, seven or eight separate band break offs, roughly thirty different members and something like three hundred and fifty thousand different albums… OK, that MAY be an exaggeration, but it’s a lot of music, by a lot of people, and out of all of it there’s about two dozen really REALLY good tunes.

No, Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now isn’t one of them… It was also by STARSHIP, not JEFFERSON Starship. Happy Birthday, Paul, and congrats that you can go through life reminding people that you were NOT responsible for the theme song from Mannequin...

Rock out with your 'stache out!

... and with Jefferson AIRPLANE…

New Installment: The Dance's Next Big Things

2009-03-11T13:10:00.000-07:00

So admittedly I’ve been all U2’d out since the release of No Line on the Horizon earlier in the month, especially after I finally bought it and gave it a listen. It’s not only good, but it inspired a wave of U2 nostalgia that has dominated much of my listening for the last week or so.

That’s not to say I’ve ditched my quest to bring to light the newest of the new from both satellite radio and podcasts… It just means I’m spending even MORE time listening to tunes… Roughly all the time I’m not spending sleeping, or watching the Netherlands smoke Dominican ass in the WBC…

Anyhow, here are the nuggets of joy I’ve unearthed for you on this post. All are 100% guaranteed to make you enjoy life just a little bit more. If they do not, I’ll be happy to refund every cent of your entrance fee… Again, these are in no discernable order, so put away your betting cash…

Deerhunter
This Atlanta four piece defines lack of pretention, playing local clubs from Helsinki, Finland to Auburn, Alabama for nothing more than the love of the craft, sporting a brand of indie garage rock reticent of the early days of fellow Georgians REM. The band’s earlier sound was harder edged, a characteristic that was mainly due to the death of their original bass player, Justin Bosworth who passed due to head trauma from a skateboarding accident in 2004. However, the more recent recordings found on the albums Microcastle and Weird Era Cont. display a slightly more grown up and polished sound without denying the indie roots.

The band also hosts their own blog site which features tunes and videos. Well worth the net surf…

Crystal Castles
Referring to their sound as ‘thrash’ this Canadian duo can better be described as what your Atari would listen to if it still worked… had ears… and LOVED to dance… Once again proving that Canada is the place to be. The bands self-titled debut Crystal Castles was released to a fury of positive indie reviews roughly a year ago, and the song I can’t seem to get out of my head is Crimewave, linked below.

Still not convinced? How about the fact that their song Magic Spells samples quotes for the iconic 80’s miniseries V? When did Canada get so outrageously cool??

Black Lips
Fellow Atlantites and friends of the above mentioned Deerhunter, The Black Lips have been kicking around the southern club scene for more than a few years having released their debut album way back in 2003. Also similar to their pals above, The Black Lips suffered the loss of a band member early in their playing days when original guitarist Ben Eberbaugh was involved in a car accident with a drunk driver going to wrong way on the highway. Despite this loss the band carried on, believing these would be Eberbaugh’s wishes.

The rest of us are lucky they did, mostly because of tunes like this one. Reminds me of a cross between Morphine and any tune from a 70’s exploitation flick with just the slightest tinge of Vanilla Ice mixed in… But don’t worry, not enough to ruin it…

On an only-slightly-related note, Vanilla Ice is FORTY ONE… That’s scary…

The Bird & The Bee
Already having crossed over the ‘indie’ plane with appearances on Ellen and Nickelodeon kid’s show Yo Gabba Gabba this jazz inspired Los Angeles duo is putting a brand new spin on an old classic sound. As prolific as they are talented, since joining forces in 2006 tB&tB’s Greg Kurstin and Inara George have amassd two studio LP’s and four EP’s ranging from traditionally released CD’s to digital downloads, and have scored a US #1 dance hit with a remix version of Fucking Boyfriend. Did I mention their appearance on a kid’s show?

The new album, Ray Guns are Not Just the Future has received mixed reviews, ranging from ‘really good’ to ‘really REALLY good.’ Certainly worth checking out for yourself. Here’s a tune from the latest. A tune I defy you to not groove to… Just you try it… You WILL fail…

Lykke Li
It wouldn’t be a new music post without a visit to Sweden. The EU’s third largest nation and the ONLY place to get yourself a custom made Volvo is certainly a hot bed of indie music activity. This week’s twenty two year old vocalist fits the mold established by The Knife and Fever Ray. Only Li replaces the creepiness of The Knife that could exist just as easily in a Kubrick flick or entrant of the Resident Evil video game franchise with a sweetness that makes one want to hug and squeeze a classic stuffed Hello Kitty…

Did I lose you with that one? Well give her a listen and draw conclusions of your own…

Last Shadow Puppets
The British trio made up of Arctic Monkeys front man Alex Turner, Miles Kane of new outfit The Rascals and producer/drummer James Ford bucks the ‘more electronic is more better’ phenomena gripping the throat of the indie scene in recent years by recording tracks that sound less like Turner’s Monkeys, and more like 2nd tier 60’s brit-invasioneers the Moody Blues or Spanish beat band Los Bravos. It’s a pretty exciting sound when compared to the other stuff hitting the indie air waves right now, but a word of caution… Also once considered the new wave of the brit invasion, Oasis went from pop-rock princes to royal douchebags inside of one LP…

Still, if that’s the fate of these puppeteers, it should be an entertaining ride, just as it was with the brothers Gallagher.

Here’s the throwback track, Standing Next to Me

The Airborne Toxic Event
My musical tastes tend to range across five decades from the 1960’s through the 2000’s with specific emphasis on the 90’s as I consider that ‘my’ decade… I point this out because in each of these decades there is a band that I feel if *I* were writing and recording songs during that time period, I would wish and hope to sound like that particular band. In the 1960’s it’s The Grassroots. The 70’s it’s Nick Drake (except for the whole dying part), me in the 80’s would have sounded a lot like Howard Jones, the 90’s is easily Counting Crows, and while the 00’s have heretofore belonged to Josh Ritter, on the strength of just one tune, the Los Feliz quintet The Airborne Toxic Event is making a run at that spot.

Keep in mind, I know and accept that I have neither the talent, patience, or in some cases insanity to fill the shoes of any of these musical acts, but they all sound like I hope I could sound if I was just a little more talented, driven, and out of my mind. Here’s the track I will add to my long list of songs I dream I would have written and performed…

That’ll do it, another seven acts for you to sink your teeth into, share your musical dreams with, and spend your hard earned money on. I’ve got plenty more where these came from, and am adding more every day, even though I’m obsessing over the upcoming DM long play Sounds of the Universe. Frighteningly enough, April is just a few short weeks away…

New Mexico: You CAN drink the water...

2009-03-11T05:36:00.000-07:00

Is there a more misunderstood state in our union than New Mexico? Sandwiched between Texas and Arizona, named after... well... MEXICO, one would expect a sweltering hot desert wasteland with nary a well-hydrated soul in site. Ask the folks in Las Cruses, and they'd probably agree with you, but find yourself in Albuquerque and you'll find people, and buildings, and merchants who accept cash money, not just beads... Head further north to Santa Fe and you may even encounter snow.

Yup. Effing SNOW in effing New Mexico. I know... Take a minute to recover from your now severely blown mind...

You know what else you can find in New Mexico? Not a whole hell of a lot of music, that's for sure...

That's not to say that the Land of Enchantment, so coined by native country cowboy Michael Martin Murphey, doesn't have some other interesting tidbits about it. Still don't believe me? Do I need to remind you that it EFFING SNOWS here? Let's see what else the Wiki can tell us...

- Geologists speculate that New Mexico is roughly the same age as the rest of the planet, including it's southern neighbor, regular Mexico... Not so NEW after all eh?

- At a population density of 15 per square mile, New Mexico is the sixth most sparsely inhabited U.S. state. Meaning the spaces are far too confining for your average Montanian.

- New Mexico does not rank first or last in any ranking convention among the 50 US states. I guess this would make New Mexico the #1 most mediocre state in the union.

- Nope. That's South Dakota.

- The state flag of New Mexico looks surprisingly like an eye test.

- Apparently my vision is just fine. The horizontal and vertical stripes line up correctly.

- Residents of Ohkay Owingeh Pueblo, New Mexico's oldest town, likely don't get the irony.

- Albuquerque, New Mexico's largest city is located in Bernalillo County. I don't anticipate this information is all that interesting or entertaining, but the next time someone asks you what county houses New Mexico's largest city, you best give credit to how you know the answer...

- New Mexico is famous for chilies, cow skulls, and painting their buildings in pastel hues.

- New Mexico is not famous for their sports teams, which saddens The Isotopes.

- Yes, the Albuquerque Isotopes did get their name from a Simpsons episode.

- Doug Eddings, major league umpire and personal nemesis to Angels fans the world over is a New Mexico native who thinks he should be the central focus of baseball games rather than say, the game itself…

- Bitter? I’m not bitter… ‘The Call’ changed the tone of the entire series and the Angels never recovered from the screwing, but it’s in the past… Really it is…

- Fuckin’ Doug Eddings…

- Billy the Kid, Conrad Hilton, French Stewart, and Ralph Kiner have something in common. They all robbed banks, fought the law, and had unusually large wrists, but small hands.

- Actually, those facts are only true of Billy the Kid, but all four ARE from New Mexico…

- OK, the wrist thing is only true if you believe Emilio Estevez's soliloquy from Young Guns II. Call me crazy, but I think they MAY have just been making it up to further the story line...

OK, enough with the stalling… The list is sparse, but I managed to piece something together… My apologies to the snubbed Amelia Maciszewski, New Mexican sitarist…

Solo Artist: John Denver

Yes. Mr. 'Rocky Mountain High' is a native New Mexican... Now this will come as no surprise to you if you have read the entry on the one-tick-to-the-north land of Colorado, but if your new to The Dance, or only here to read about this entry, then I've now blown your mind... TWICE...

Also, if you have ventured into the great internet wide open in search of nothing more than a blog post about New Mexico's music, PLEASE drop me a comment and tell me what prompted such a random and seemingly futile quest...

I am not a die-hard Denverite... For the most part I find his tunes kind of hokey and trite like most 60's and 70's country-tinged singer songwriters. I'm not a big fan of Freddy Fender, or James Taylor, or Merle Haggard either, but I must admit that one of my favorite all time songs is the John Denver version of his own composition, Leaving on a Jet Plane. Although it was recorded by Peter. Paul and Mary first, and more famously, the words and music just fit better together with Denver's voice, lending a sense of pain and longing that's not even diminished by learning that the song was actually written in an airport waiting on a delayed flight...

Unfortunately, the tune would also become eerily prophetic when Denver left us, on a jet plane, the victim of a tragic accident over the California coast on October 12th, 1997. The Long-EZ aircraft he was piloting crashed at Pacific Grove, just off Monterey.

Honor the fallen New Mexican, even if he did prefer the company of OTHER states...

Band: Beirut

The great Southwest hasn't been an indie rock capital for very long, but they are starting to make a name for themselves. If you have read the Nevada post, you'll know the Silver State is jam packed with up and coming performers, and a few years before them, Arizona was blowing up the alternative airwaves. Who's next? Well I think New Mexico has as good a shot as anyplace, especially if Zach Condon, the voice behind Beirut has anything to say about it.

Way too new to get a shot in any heavily represented state, I can't really go on and on about Beirut's 'musical legacy', but I include them in hopes that if somebody digs this up ten years from now and sees I was high on this act WAY back in aught-nine that mysterious someone will also say to themselves 'Wow... This OC Kerouac really knows his shit!'

I love nothing so much as I love positive affirmations from total strangers... Here, listen to a song!

Honorable Mention: Neil Patrick Harris

So he hasn't put out any albums per se, but dude was in Rent on Broadway for a number of years, and he's NPH for god's sake... That's good enough for me...

That said, I kind of liked when everyone still called him 'that guy who played Doogie Howser' but schadenfreude aside, he's a great actor, funnier than hell, has a tremendous amount of talent and deserves all the pub he's currently receiving. For these reasons and the below, I felt I had no choice but to jump on the bandwagon...

BONUS!: THIS is the greatest song ever about New Mexico, despite the fact that it's singer is Welsh...

Next time, the stalling is over, and it's time to pull the trigger... The selections from New York will likely not anger anyone as much as they anger myself...

Happy Birthday: Sometimes it's more than music.

2009-03-10T13:06:00.000-07:00

Say what you will about the music of Tom Scholz and his Boston cohorts, but it is undeniable that this quote is not one that a person would typically equate with a rock musician: "The public has been sold a bill of goods about the free market being a panacea for mankind. Turning corporations loose and letting the profit motive run amok is not a prescription for a more livable world."

Scholz, aside from writing some unquestionably catchy tunes is also a really smart dude... I don't think that is celebrated nearly often enough in public figures, so here on his sixty second birthday I'm taking a moment to say thank you Tom Scholz for doing your part to raise the average American IQ...

Oh, and note to Wikipedia... Referring to Boston as a 'hard rock band' is kind of like calling Mozart a 'badass'. No matter how true it may have been at the time, it's just not a fact any longer... That's not to say we can't all still enjoy More than a Feeling, and likely can all appreciate it more knowing that the bass player is smarter than your average pop-star, but 'hard rock' this is not...

More Birthday Wishes, and a reminder that time waits for no guitarist

2009-03-05T13:32:00.000-08:00

In 1989 John Frusciante joined Red Hot Chili Peppers as a nineteen year old ingenue replacing band co-founder Hillel Slovak after a heroin overdose led to his death. Frusciante played on Mother's Milk and the band's breakout success Blood Sugar Sex Magik before parting ways with the band due to his own drug-related complications. John completed some experimental solo recordings before kicking his horse habit and re-joining the peppers for their 1999 release Californication.

Frusciante has spent the last ten years recording with RHCP, and continuing to release self-named solo projects, and side projects under the name Ataxia. He has also played in studio on recordings by The Mars Volta, a band of youngsters trying to keep prog-rock alive for the next generation.

The nineteen year old guitar phenom reminds us all just how long ago 1989 was by turning thirty nine today. Here's John, Anthony, Flea and Chad from way back in '89 covering Stevie Wonder...

U2 New Album Day

2009-03-03T20:34:00.000-08:00

So today is the day of the US release of U2's latest No Line on the Horizon. This also marks the first time since Achtung Baby that I am not buying the album the day of it's release. I feel pangs of guilt about this, but somehow I think this little band will probably make it anyway...

Just thought I'd let y'all know...

Another day, another iconic birthday celebration

2009-03-02T21:19:00.000-08:00

Today we congratulate Lou Reed on making it to sixty seven years young. From Warhol to dueting with Brandon Flowers, Reed has had more lives than even the luckiest cats. Hell, he even survived Metal Machine Music.

Here's a Reed classic...

This also marks post #100 here at The Dance... Perhaps the next 100 posts will even contain something at least mildly relevant...

New Jersey: You know, all the mocking hurts…

2009-03-02T13:26:00.000-08:00

Having grown up in a suburb of one of the nation’s largest cities, I understand and respect the plight of New Jersey. Try as it might, it will never be New York City,, just as my home of Orange County will never be LA. Well I’m here to say that there’s not a thing wrong with that, and New Jersey’s got the musical chops to back that up.

Seriously, Ohio will never be New York either, but you don’t see them getting the constant ridicule that the Garden State has heaped upon it… Connecticut is tiny, and boring, and oddly sterile, but why pick on them when everybody laughs at the countless ‘what’s that smell? It must be Jersey!’ jokes. Just remember New York, the next time you’re going to drop a snark-bomb on your neighbors to the south, how many football teams would you have without New Jersey and it’s stadiums?

HMM?

One, and it would be the one in Buffalo that can’t manage to win a Superbowl. So show a little respect already…

Alright, the lecture is over. We’re all ready to show Jersey the respect and admiration it deserves… hey… What’s that smell?

I kid because I love… In all fairness, I’ve never actually BEEN to New Jersey. I’ve SEEN it from across the Hudson River, and I’m comfortable with the soul-crushing weight of living in the shadow of a major metropolitan city that has more people, power, and influence than many other whole nations… Logically I can assume I’d feel right at home there. Besides, they really do have a pretty impressive array of native musicians, but more on that later. It’s Wiki-time!

-New Jersey boasts the highest population density of any state un the union. Suck it, forty nine other states…

-New Jersey natives Dionne Warwick, Connie Francis and our solo artist honoree share the same birthday, December 12th… Creepy, party of three…

-New Jersey is broken up in to two metropolitan areas. The greater New York metro area, and the greater Philadelphia metro area. Meaning New Jersey as a whole is nothing more than a giant suburb.

-Some people may see that as an insult. For me it’s cozier than a giant afghan throw… The suburbs kick the ‘urbs ass…

-New Jersey is the center point of the Boston to Washington megalopolis.

-Megalopolis is one of my favorite new words. I think it shall be the name of the world I build when I make slaves of the invading robot hordes.

-The Palisades are a line of steep cliffs on the lower west side of the Hudson River. If you happen to find yourself in New Jersey and are looking to end it all, I suppose it’s one of the better places to go…

-Around 180 million years ago, during the Jurassic Period, New Jersey bordered North Africa. The pressure of the collision between North America and Africa gave rise to the Appalachian Mountains. Around 18,000 years ago, the Ice Age resulted in glaciers that reached New Jersey. As the glaciers retreated, they left behind Lake Passaic, as well as many rivers, swamps, and gorges.

-This is precisely why the North African nation of Mauritania falls a close second to New Jersey in per capita usage of Aqua Net.

-The capital and largest city in Mauritania is Nouakchott, which is native Arabic for Newark.

-New Jersey has the second highest median household income of any state in the union. Suck it, forty eight other states that aren’t California…

-If an artist or band recorded but one song of note, they’re from New Jersey. I cite Joey Dee, The Happenings, Labelle, Dean Friedman, Joan Weber, Tommy Leonetti, The Knickerbockers, Looking Glass, Bob Crewe, Gary Wright, and Monster Magnet as examples.

-The above mentioned Looking Glass of ‘Brandy’ fame were the answer to a trivia question that earned me the respect of a room full of people much older than myself at a Christmas party some twelve years ago. The question was ‘Who sang ‘Brandy’?’ and the answer, which only I knew was… well, I’ve kind of spoiled it… The answer was Looking Glass…

Before moving on to the selections, I must take a moment to honor those artists who were not fortunate enough to make the list. If only a few of you would have come from a Dakota…

- Blues Traveler
- Spin Doctors
- Skid Row
- The Four Seasons
- The Misfits/Samhain/Danzig
- Fifth Dimension
- Fountains of Wayne (Named for a New Jersey hardware store)
- Dramarama
- The Smithereens
- Regina Spektor
- My Chemical Romance
- Whitney Houston
- The Shirelles
- Kool and The Gang
- The Rascals
- Lesley Gore
- Blondie (Very nearly the honorable mention choice. It pains me to list them here)
- Gloria Gaynor
- The Isley Brothers
- Lauryn Hill
- Eddie Rabbitt
- George Clinton, galactic commander of Parliament-Funkadelic

With a list like that, who could our selections possibly be?

Solo Artist: Francis Albert Sinatra
You don't have to like Sinatra to respect Sinatra, but if you don't like Sinatra you're out of your friggen' head. I mean seriously, what's the matter with you? The man is a freakin' legend over here... Sorry... The Chairman makes me get all Italian-American-Stereotypey...

From his early days singing along with Harry James and Tommy Dorsey, to the Vegas Rat Pack sets, Sinatra was on top of the world. Later in life he became as much a statesman for music as he was a performer, the whole time doing it his way. He performed duets with Bono, Aretha Franklin, Barbra Streisand, and a score of others, always outshining them all in his own magical way.

Many, many of Sinatra's tunes are well known and well loved the world over. My favorite Sinatra tracks however are the lesser known, funnier tracks. Songs like Lean Baby, where Frank sings about a girlfriend who really needed to eat a good meal, or The Coffee Song off of the Ring-a-Ding-Ding album where Frank opines 'You meet a girl and later find out she smells just like a percolator, coffee pickles way outsell the dill, they've got an awful lot of coffee in Brazil.' Frank also showed his comic genius on stage in Vegas playing off of Dean, Sammy, Joey, and the brother-in-Lawford during the classic Rat Pack days. I don't think enough people respect Sinatra for his comedy since it was so overshadowed by his magnificent voice.

Here's Frank singing and riffing with another best-of-a-stater Louis Armstrong...

Band: Bon Jovi
Nothing defines New Jersey for a non-New Jersian like the dichotomy between our best-solo and best-band selections. While the above Francis Albert is one of the enigmatic figures in the history of recorded music, these guys put out an album called Slippery When Wet, and made blow drying and hair spraying an art form for men everywhere. There are few 'supergroups' in the history of Rock & Roll that inspire more 'What were we thinking??' than Jon Bon and friends. Still, in spite of all this overwhelming evidence showing how guilty all of us should feel for owning a copy of Cross Road, a lot of this stuff is undeniably good.

Man it hurts to type that...

There are few artists that I consider guilty pleasures, mostly because I feel no shame about by love for The Thompson Twins, Howard Jones, Speedwagon, or Motley Crue... I'll play them loud, and play them proud, but for some reason, whenever Bon Jovi comes on I feel the need to turn down the stereo and roll up the windows... I fully admit, the problem isn't the Jovi, it's all me...

Here's one that should be cranked until the neighbors call the cops. Wherever you may be, you should pop this one in the car stereo and turn it to eleven on your way home tonight. You KNOW you own it...

Honorable Mention: Bruce Springsteen
The duality of New Jersey continues to addle my already well-muddied brain with the inclusion of the artist who is likely the most synonymous with the state itself. Sinatra is a legend, Bon Jovi rocks my particular brand of socks, but no one eats, breathes, and sweats Jersey like The Boss.

Why is this such a departure you ask? Quite simple really, while I wish I could quit my Jovi addiction and move on to more hip and happening things, I have a 100% opposite opinion of Springsteen. Try as I might, I just really don't like him all that much. Don;t get me wrong, there's exceptions to the rule... I enjoy Glory Days, and fun tracks like Pink Cadillac and 88 Channels but Nothing On are worth occasional enough play to warrant a 'Oh Yeah! I remember THAT song', it's just that Bruce and the kids from E Street have never shown me enough to purchase so much as a greatest hits collection.

That being said, again New Jersey reminds me that I'M the one with the problem, and in spite of my personal lack of enjoyment, I have to respect Asbury Park's golden boy, even if I could go a thousand lifetimes never again hearing Born in the USA and wouldn't mind...

Here's another Springsteen tune I enjoy well enough... You know, there's probably a dozen songs I can get down to, which makes we wonder why I hold The Boss to such a high standard. Hell, I'll talk up an artist like Spin Doctors who only put out one good album, and I dump all over a legitimate R&R HoF'er... I seriously need to re-examine my Springsteen issues... Maybe I'll do that while listening to Dancing in the Dark... After all, Courtney Cox likes it

After a few rounds of therapy to deal with my deep-rooted anti-Bruce hysteria we'll reconvene here for New Mexico, a state that'll give me one more chance to honor marginal artists before tackling the gut-wrenching challenges the big apple throws my way...

Vegas Today & Tomorrow

2009-03-01T11:35:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite sites, Vegas Today & Tomorrow just launched a blog site and an RSS feed. If you're as obsessed with gambling, fine dining, fabulous hotels, and 'the glitz' as I am, you really could do worse than checking this place out.

http://www.vegastodayandtomorrow.com/

Pre-Birthday Announcements

2009-02-27T06:13:00.000-08:00

In honor of the fact that I tend to spend a goodly portion of the weekend inebriated, and I am a staunchly anti blogging under the influence I've decided it's best to announce this weekend's pending birthdays today!

Honestly, I just get lazy on the weekend, have a few minutes to spare now, and no one of note was born today. That's the God's honest truth, and I hope it makes you feel like a better person to uncover my deception. Whatever... I'm like... SO over it...

Imagine if you will a world in which all of the advancements of science and medicine were mistaken. A world in which you could take all the drugs you wanted and still be just fine. If such a world existed, tomorrow would mark the sixty seventh birthday of founding member of The Rolling Stones, Mr. Brian Jones. Considering Jones was ousted from the Energizeresque super Brits that just keep going and going prior to his passing at the age of 27, he would likely spend this birthday laughing about how out of place Mick looks still chicken strutting across a stadium stage.

Jones recorded on the first eight Stones studio albums, the last of which, Between the Buttons is arguably my favorite of their recordings in spite of the fact that Brian missed roughly half the sessions. In my humble and fully uninformed opinion, the band was never quite as good after his departure. Here's the original lineup playing Paint it Black on the BBC classic rock & roll show Ready, Steady Go!

Filed under sixties rockers still kicking, Sunday the 1st marks the sixty fifth time Sir Roger Daltrey has celebrated a birthday. He may now retire, and take full advantage of early bird specials at assorted restaurants around the globe. Somehow, I doubt Roger will choose that route however, as he seems to be locked in a perpetual death match with the aforementioned Jagger to see who's hip can break on stage first.

On a less mocking note, I'm of the opinion that The Who is the most under rated rock band of the British Invasion era, while the Stones are certainly the most over rated. Don't get me wrong, there's a heck of a lot of great Stones tunes, but The Who can match them track for track, and the Stones never released anything even approaching the level of Tommy. The Who not only was responsible for the rock opera that influenced countless prog-rock recordings to come, but for my money that isn't even their best work. I give that honor to Who's Next.

It doesn't get much better than this, even if it has been franchised by the CSI steamroller...

I fell in to a burning ring of birthdays

2009-02-26T06:44:00.000-08:00

Had he not gone to join wife June earlier in the decade, Johnny Cash would be 77 years old today, and I wager that he’d be the coolest 77 year old around. Today’s quote of the day on my calendar of great rock quotes is attributed to the posthumous birthday boy:

“I followed trails and slept under mesquite bushes and in gullies… I learned to throw a bowie knife and kill a jackrabbit at 40 yards… Sometimes I might have gone a little too far, not such an uncommon trait in a person on amphetamines.”

I’m sure Johnny meant this as a ‘just say no’ speech, but has anyone ever made drug abuse sound more sinisterly manly? Cash oozed badassedness…

Aside from being an enemy to the jackrabbit, and a friend to country music fans the world over, in his later years Cash also collaborated with a couple of The Dance’s favorite artists, U2 and Nine Inch Nails. Here’s Johnny performing his cover of a Reznor masterpiece.

While My Guitar Gently Births

2009-02-25T07:01:00.000-08:00

If cancer wasn't such a dick, George Harrison would be 66 years young today. I say, just because he is no longer with us, that's no reason to not recall his legacy, and celebrate his majesty. I've often considered Harrison the most under rated Beatle, in spite of the fact that he did receive a good amount of well-deserved praise towards the end of his life. He was certainly the most musically gifted of the Fab Four. Like many of the greats, Harrison taught himself to play by ear just through listening to his favorite tunes on the radio. As his guitar prowess grew, he ventured out to other string instruments, learning to play sitar from the instrument's indisputable master, Ravi Shankar. He was instrumental (no pun intended) in the Beatles involvement in eastern religion and philosophy during the last part of the 1960's, and was actually the first to attempt to leave the band, as early as January of 1968, pre-dating the supergroup's 'official' breakup by almost two years. There is more to Harrison than just the Beatles though, and some of it is quite interesting.

- He was the only Beatle (to date) to write an autobiography entitled I Me Mine after the track of the same name on Let It Be.

- His first wife Pattie Boyd was stolen from him by best friend Eric Clapton. In spite of this the two remained close, living the 'bros before hos' code...

- George Harrison financed early Monty Python performances, and is credited by the comic group as the reason they managed to gain international fame and fortune on the tales of dead parrots and cross-dressing lumberjacks. This, more than any of the music, is reason enough to celebrate George's work...

- Two years prior to his death, Harrison was caught in a home invasion attack by a deranged man who felt he was possessed by the spirit of Harrison and was sent on a mission from god to kill him. Despite stabbing the aged rocker multiple times and puncturing one of his lungs, Harrison survived the attack due to the ass-kicking ability of his wife, Olivia Trinidad Arias. I highly doubt Patti Boyd would have been able to save George's life, so props to Eric Clapton for the cock-block...

There's oh so much more Harrison lore out there, but for now let's just sit an listen to the man and his guitar. Happy Birthday, George...

New Hampshire: Old Hampshire would be disappointed...

2009-02-20T16:44:00.000-08:00

So Quebec has been eyeing New Hampshire recently, and I'd be inclined to let them have it, except then Vermont would be all sad, and Vermont can be a serious drag when it's upset... I guess that means unless we want to get inundated with late night phone calls from the 802 begging us to keep them company and buy their syrup we'll have to keep the 'Live Free Or Die'ers around a while longer. This means I get to seemingly by chance chose three random rock acts that I've vaguely heard of and either don't particularly care for, or don't really know...

That being the case, we'll spend a little time focusing on what New Hampshire has to offer OTHER than recorded sound packaged as 'music', and then VERY little time discussing said music itself, mostly because if New Hampshire disappeared into oblivion, I'd feel bad for the estimated $1.3 million people who call the state home, most of which would be fine if it happened during working hours since they'd probably be in Massachusetts anyway, but except for the large number of souls who would cease to exist, I can't imagine such a disappearance causing a direct impact on the country by and large. So as the kids say, Sorry New Hampshire... I'm just not that in to you...

That doesn't mean there's not plenty of New Hampshire fun facts to mock at will:

- New Hampshire became the first post-colonial sovereign nation in the Americas when it broke off from Great Britain in January 1776. Live Free or Die indeed!

- New Hampshire is the only state with neither a general sales tax nor a personal income tax at either the state or local level. Live Tax Free or Die indeed!

- As of the last estimated census, residents of the state of New Hampshire identified themselves as 'white' at a rate of 96.97%. Live Minority Free or Die indeed!

- New Hampshire leads the country in per capita sales of all forms of alcohol. Live Drunk or Die indeed!

- OK. I'll stop now...

- New Hampshire's major regions are the Great North Woods, the White Mountains, the Lakes Region, the Seacoast, the Merrimack Valley, the Monadnock Region, and the Dartmouth-Lake Sunapee area. No word if any of these areas are inhabited by magical elves.

- New Hampshire was home to the rock formation called the Old Man of the Mountain, a face-like profile in Franconia Notch, until the formation fell apart in May 2003.

-The Republican Party was lead by John McCain until the old man fell apart on November 4th, 2008, thanks in part to the electoral votes of New Hampshire.

- New Hampshire was the birth place of the 14th President of the United States, Franklin Pierce. History has revealed Pierce to be one of our nation's worst Presidents due to his positive views of slavery, his secret plot to claim Cuba for the US through compromise or force, and his post-presidential support of the Confederacy before his alcoholism related death from cirrhosis.

- Still, a loaf of bread in New Hampshire is to this day known in some circles as a Pierce, due to his post-presidential ownership of the state's Dark Horse Bakery.

- Of US states with coastlines, New Hampshire's is the shortest at just 18 miles.

- What are you laughing at West Virginia? How much coast line do YOU have? Yeah... That's what I thought...

- The peak of Mount Washington, New Hampshire's highest point, is considered to have the worst weather on earth including hurricane strength winds every third day on average and holds the world's record for directly measured surface wind speed at 231 MPH. Live Windy or Die indeed!

- That's not funny. The weather conditions at Mt. Washington have claimed more than 100 lives.

- What IS funny is that in spite of these horrid conditions and confirmed deaths, people still visit...

- In 2006, New Hampshire had the lowest birth rate in the nation, confirming my prediction that within the next century New Hampshire will cease to exist.

- Only time will tell if the rest of the nation is impacted.

OK, you knew we had to get here sooner of later... The Selections-

Band: Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
Everything New Hampshire does is hard-edged, punk-fueled, and under-ground. So describes New York art-punk trio the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. Despite making a name for themselves during the under-appreciated early 90's New York jazz-punk scene. Spencer himself is a native New Hampshirite. JSBX as they sometimes known are mostly not known... Including by me. I am familiar with one JSBX tune however, the intro theme to Tony Bourdain's Travel Channel show No Reservations.

Here's one of their tunes, the first eleven seconds of which sound promising... This is Wail.

Solo Artist: GG Allin
Born Jesus Christ Allin, the story of GG's 'musical' career reads more like the biography of a serial murderer than a punk rock pioneer. Personally, my opinion of Allin is that the only thing 'pioneering' about his music is that he wasn't afraid to suck, and he did it very, very well.

Known more for his onstage antics of defecation, urination, bloodshed, and coprophagia, and lyrics covering subjects such as misogyny, pedophilia and homophobia, Allin made a name for himself despite the fact that he was a much more tragic figure than a talented one. Allin spent two years in prison after accepting a plea bargain on a charge of rape and torture of a female acquaintance, corresponded, and later received art from serial murderer John Wayne Gacy, and eventually died in his New York apartment of a heroin overdose, not long after threatening to commit onstage suicide during one of his shows. Allin is an interesting case of the varied manifestations of psychological brain damage, but was not a very talented musician. He did however once play in a band with J Mascis of Dinosaur Jr. We'll all be happier listening to one of THEIR tunes...

Honorable Mention: Mandy Moore
Her tunes are catchy, she's not afraid to mock herself, and ain't nobody else from New Hampshire, so sue me. Feel free to ask for your money back at the door... Besides...

For now, Mandy's missing you like candy...

It doesn't get much harder-edged than THAT...

That's New Hampshire. Hope you enjoyed. Next up Jersey, a state with some talent...

Birthday wishes into the ether

2009-02-20T07:00:00.000-08:00

Had O. F. Mossberg decided to go into say, interior decorating, today would be the fourty second birthday of one Kurt Donald Cobain. In honor of this once happy but now tragic day, I suggest you strap on a flannel, find the largest coffee mug you can, fill it to the brim with a vaguely Italian sounding Starbucks creation, and find a quiet corner in which to cry as you enjoy this.

In the 'still with us' birthday catagory, today marks the celebration of Walter Becker's fifty ninth year on this planet. Becker was an original founder, and one half of the writing duo for beat-inspired NY 70's rockers Steely Dan. Becker also honed his guitar playing skills under the tuitalige of Randy Wolfe nee Randy California of one of my favorite 60's psych-rock outfits Spirit. If you find yourself confronted by a maudlin Nirvanite on this historic occasion, feel free to share with them the less tragic side of today's music history... They may offer to share their case of Oly...

New Music News & Notes: February 2009

2009-02-19T21:35:00.000-08:00

So my 'weekly' new music news and notes seems to have become more of a 'monthly', but I have at least fulfilled my goal so far of listening to new music. So much so in fact that I'll need to narrow down my selections to a manageable number. Otherwise somebody is going to get left out of the post labels, and well, that's just plain not fair...

I have to share. While I'm writing this post on 'new music', my iPod has decided to play the St. Louis Blues March by Glenn Miller... OK, screw you and your colorful sense of irony iPod...

Last time I limited it to seven artist entries, so I'll keep that as the 'magic number'. After all, seven is a magic number... Think about it... How many dwarfs are there? How many deadly sins? Prince sang about it, and I guaran-damn-tee you if someone asks you to think of a number between one and ten, the answer is ALWAYS seven...

OK, so my list is actually at twenty one different options at the moment, so I very well may do two or three installments of February's New Music News and Notes, but for now, I'll limit to seven...

So I've got seven artists here, and I've asked them each to pick a number between one and ten... The one closest will be on the list first...

1. Los Campesinos! chose seven...
A Welsh indie-pop seven piece with a decidedly Spanish... ummm... name... if nothing else (It mean The Peasants) is like playing the Oasis Definitely Maybe album on a portable boom box on one side of the room while the Smiths The Queen Is Dead spins on a turn table on the other side of the room as you sit someplace in the middle playing Nintendo with the volume maxed out. Sometimes you move closer to the turn table, sometimes the boombox, occasionally the Mario-laden TV, but most of the time you camp out in the apex of all three. Aside from mixing memories of years gone by, the peasants have managed to coin two musical nuggets that I shall recall at random from this point forward for the rest of my life.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but fondness makes the absence longer." and "When you got drunk, ate loads of crisps, and threw up by a football pitch." both from We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed, which oddly enough is linked right here...

2. Fever Ray
Fever Ray is the latest incarnation of avant-Swede indie rocker Karin Dreijer Andersson, also the lead singer of electronic duo The Knife in which she collaborates with her brother. Ray is less about the club dub breakbeats as it his haunting melodies and the overtly dramatic clash of sound and thought. Think Bjork vs. Massive Attack beating each other senseless with those huge padded sticks from American Gladiators... This battle for mental supremacy is stark and clear on Keep The Streets Empty For Me. Yes, the song is just as dramatic as the title would imply... See for yourself...

3. She & Him
A sixties inspired sugar-pop duet made up of extremely talented musician M. Ward and equally gifted singer/songwriter/actress/pianist/banjo player Zooey Deschanel. The fish-out-of-water Why Do You Let Me Stay Here would have better fit the pop music mold of 1964's Motown invasion than the modern day DIY computerized sound of indie radio which makes a clean, crisp, and catchy tune stand out even better amongst it's contemporaries. Imagine Jackie DeShannon on pep pills... Alas, this is kind of a pet project of two otherwise busy artists, so we likely will not see numerous and repeated recordings from them together, but M. Ward as plenty of good stuff of his own, and Zooey's flicks are always worth a watch.

4. Blitzen Trapper
There's really nothing 'new' about Blitzen Trapper. The first of their current four album catalog was released way back in 2003. However, if you're like me, and you don't live in the greater Portland area, you probably have not heard of them prior to the last couple of months when they have become the darlings of indie radio. Combining a Wilco-like Tex-pop vibe with tunes and tones reticent of The Beatles circa Rubber Soul there is something both catchy and complex about tunes like Sleepytime in the Western World. Don't be surprised if repeated listenings don't make you long for some Bob Dylan studio tracks. Here's the folk-fabulous Furr

5. Beirut
Checking in from the Land of Enchantment, New Mexico, recently-turned-twenty-three year old Zachary Condon has assembled a motley band of mixed musicians to create a Vampire Weekend styled mix of indie/folk/world music. However, while the boys of VW tend to be more on the upbeat side of the spectrum, Zach and friends tend to fall somewhere in the range of drunken French cabaret singers. That sounds like a BAD thing, but trust me, it's not. Witness My Night with a Prostitute from Marsaille:

6. Army Navy
A debut act that gained notoriety with a spot on the soundtrack to Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, which features a who's who and veritable slew of indie-cred musicians. I am not familiar with the N&N track Silvery Sleds, but the below Saints reminds me of the straight-ahead rock of pre-Dirty Hearts INXS meshed with middle-America Matthew Sweet sensibilities. I hope to hear more in the not too distant future...

7. Peter Bjorn & John
We end this post with a definition of 'last but not least' a trio that is as popular on college radio as they are on Kanye West's blog. Our second entrant for far off Sweden, Peter Bjorn & John. With scintillating back beat, catchy vocal hooks, and a couple of killer porn 'staches, Sweden has found an amalgamation of Simple Minds and Right Said Fred... That sounds more like a Fellini inspired nightmare than an indie-pop finger snapper... How about Aha meets Adam when he still had his Ants? How about you decide?

Keep in mind, the above are in no particular order except the order in which I recalled them, so please do not use the numbers as any sort of 'rankings for the purpose of 'wagering''. If you'd like to place a bet on something, there's a good chance I'll take that action... I kind of have a problem, but there is no wagering on the level of enjoyment of brand new artists. It's just unfair to their potential future recordings...

Thank you for indulging my public service announcement. Now go forth and explore the wonderful world of new music that awaits...

Nevada: Leading the Revolution

2009-02-18T16:36:00.000-08:00

Looking back on the states I have completed so far, it is glaringly obvious that the newest of the new holds very little weight in my estimation of what is really important in music history. This is really a shame because by definition if I had written this blog, say, fifteen years ago, many of the listed artists would still be on their first or second albums, and therefore would warranty little to no consideration.

Of course, if I had written this blog fifteen years ago, I'd be trying to find a way to post my thoughts to my Prodigy account, or to a local BBS where scary dudes in their basement were discussing the best way to hack public phone booths. Regardless, my point still stands, and I will rectify what I consider a grave injustice to 'today's music' via the state of Nevada.

When someone says 'Nevada', most of us immediately think 'Las Vegas'. A city known for gluttony, greed, lust, and any other deadly sin you can come up with. It's also a town that has no place for sentimentality. Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow is going to be here sooner than you think, so while cities across our nation, and across the world are putting up 'historical landmark' plaques on structures that have done nothing more than manage to exist in the same spot for 100 years, the city of Las Vegas celebrates it's history by imploding it. So goes the history of music in the state of Nevada.

Sure, there was a time in which Reno was the up-and-coming counter-capital of punk based on the work of seminal straight-edge punk cult-icons 7 Seconds, and their involvement with punk organization Positive Force which later spread to notoriety in the Washington DC straight-core movement. However, like most things Nevada, Reno's punk burned white-hot for a short time and then fizzled, and faded away. The same could be said Elko, Nevada's attempt to become a hot-spot for country music in the mid 1980's. Since 1985, Elko has been home to the National Cowboy Poetry Gathering, but much like failed casinos of days gone by, Elko's claim to fame has as yet gone unchecked.

Perhaps the below modern-day selections will fade like dust in a hot Nevada wind over the course of time, but for the moment, the western desert burns bright with musical talent which we will discuss at length in just a short while. Until then, you know there's fascinating factoids to be shared...

- You may have not heard, but you can SO gamble in Nevada... Some places you can even use your winnings on a fully legal hooker!

- I am a huge fan of Nevada. Particularly Las Vegas. Particularly because of the legal gambling. Oh, and the free booze.

- I have never taken advantage of the state's liberal hooker-policy. Really... I haven't...

- Nevada is more than just wagering, sex, and liquor... They also blow shit up!

- Weather in Nevada ranges from effing HOT in the summer to effing COLD in the winter. The hottest recorded temperature in Nevada was 125 degrees, recorded in Laughlin, NV.

- I tend to think it's been hotter, but anyone around to witness the event burst into flames before they could get back inside the beautifully air-conditioned casino.

- Abraham Lincoln, and more specifically, the American Civil War is the reason Nevada is a state. A majority of the land now known as the state of Nevada ceded from the Utah Territory at the end of the Utah War in 1858 and was rushed to statehood in 1864 due in part to add clout to Lincoln's work in his first presidential term, and due to their support of maintaining the union. Remember that as you're tipping your cocktail waitresses.

- God bless Abe Lincoln.

- Nevada has no personal income tax or corporate income tax.

- Contrary to it's 'liberal' reputation as the capital of sin, The state of Nevada is noted as having the harshest penalties for drug offenders in the country. In other words, be careful of what you're lighting up on the Nevada side of the border...

- For the last five years, the crime rate in Nevada has been the highest of any state in the union. I'm going to go out on a limb here, but maybe it has something to do with 1. Allowing people to wander around drunk in public. 2. Encouraging tourists to meander the streets at all hours of the night with pockets full of cash. 3. Imprisoning people for even slight drug infractions, thereby boosting 'crime' statistics. Admittedly, these are all just *guesses* as to why these figures are inflated...

- Fierce political rivalry exists between the heavily populated southern portion of Nevada, which despite having a vast majority of the state's citizens, has a minority of the representation in state government, and the northern part of the state that has... ummm... a lot of dirt I'm guessing...

- Sin City, Las Vegas was initially settled by the notably anti-sinner Mormons. Despite a break from the Mormon culture in the last hundred years or so, there is still a sizable Mormon community in the Las Vegas area, including the lead singer of our honored band...

Band: The Killers
I spent the earliest days of our new century mourning the loss of good music. The last few years of the 1990's into the early years of the 2000's were a mine field for horrible music. Even U2 put out what is without a doubt their worst album, 1997's Pop. I was in a dark place, filled with old music, old thoughts, and old feelings. I reached the place most 1960's rock fans did round about 1974. I was positive the world had passed me by, and it was the time for the next generation to take up the reigns of 'liking the new stuff''. U2 returned to form with their next release All That You Can't Leave Behind by the end of 2000, but the writing was pretty much on the wall. I was going to be an old-band fan.

Then 2004 happened, and with it came the release of The Killers' debut, released on U2's founding label Island. Hot Fuss dod something that very few albums, especially albums by debut artists has ever done before. It impressed me cover to cover from the very first listen. To this day it ranks up there with Garbage's Version 2.0, The Breeder's Last Splash, ane The Beatles' Beatles For Sale as an example of a perfectly crafted rock album. That's not to say that this, or any of the above mentioned LP's rank in the top 10 of my favorite all time albums (although Beatles for Sale is close), but instead they all managed to impress me the very first time I heard them from the opening notes to the closing chords. In some ways, building a great album that hits the listener immediately is even more impressive that compiling a historically great recording that stands the test of time and gets better upon every listen.

It's even more impressive when said 'instant classic' is your debut effort, and The Killers have only gone up from there.

Their next effort, 2006's Sam's Town, was touted by lead singer Brandon Flowers as 'The album that would keep Rock & Roll afloat'. He was chastised for saying it, and rightfully so. Still, since I'm not a member of the band, and don't make any money off of others purchasing and listening to it. I can freely say that this album has helped to keep Rock & Roll afloat into the modern day. Unlike Fuss, I was not all that impressed upon first listening to it, but after numerous listenings, this is now (at present day) my favorite Killers album, and continues to get better with every listening, as a truly timeless album should.

2007's Sawdust literally picked up where Sam's Town left off. It is a collections of b-sides and covers that did not make the original album, and holds up pretty well on it's own considering it's cutting-room-floor material. Especially worth listening to is the cover of Dire Strait's Romeo & Juliet. Here also is a perfect example of just how much I enjoy this band. After merely two albums had no qualms purchasing their b-sides collection...

Most recently in 2008, the boys released their 3rd official long play Day & Age. Like Sam's Town, I was not 'blown away' upon first listen dispite really enjoying a handful of tracks. Also like sam's Town, I find myself enjoying it each time I listen to it a little bit more. I've given it about a dozen listens at this point, and I would not be suprised if a dozen or so more from now it doesn;t overtake Sam's as my favorite of their recordings. That is the power of The Killers, and I have no reason to believe that will change in the forseeable future.

From their newest, Here's Human

Solo: Jenny Lewis
One time child actress and lead vocalist of college radio staple Rilo Kiley, Las Vegas native Jenny Lewis has proven through an extensive catalog of tandem and solo recordings that she is so much more than just a part of the sum. Aside from leading Kiley to label-signing glory in 2005 after the prior year's successful indie album More Adventurous, Lewis has also teamed with The Postal Service, Conor Oberst of Bright Eyes, M. Ward, Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie (and The Postal Service), and The Watson Twins. That's a regular who's who of All Songs Considered...

Perhaps most importantly, at least in MY mind, is her collaberation with 'Top 5'er and blogspiration Elvis Costello on 2008's Elvis Costello and the Imposters album Momofuku. Anybody who sings background for Elvis is good enough for me. Especially when they also had a guest star credit on TV's Mr. Belvedere...

Here's Jenny with her most-notible musical project Rilo Kiley singing the song earned them a spot in Warner Bros. stable, 2004's Portions for Foxes:

Honorable Mention: Panic! At the Disco
Although it's a tenuous grip, Panic! still holds the spot for the best band with a exclaimation point in their name (though watch out for Los Campesinos!). Their debut album A Fever You Can't Sweat Out sold a ton of copies and landed them at #13 on the Billboard US 200 chart. Their second album Pretty. Odd. managed to hit #2 on the same. They're unapologetically Emo, as evidenced by songs like Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off, and damn it if they're not a hell of a lot of fun to listen to.

Panic! has been lumped in with the new guard of plastic-Emo-bands standing on the shoulders of the sucess of fellow Nevadans The Killers, and while Killers front man Brandon Flowers has publically apologized for furthering these beliefs with his own sour-grape statements, it's pretty much the truth. The thing is, if you can take what others before you have done and put your own spin on it, where's the problem? Yes. Panic!, Fall Out Boy, et. all owe a debt to The Killers, who owe a debt to The Cure and New Order before them, who owe a dept to Souxsie and the Banshees, Roxy Music, Pink Floyd, Jethro Tull, The Beatles, Elvis Prestly, and various and assorted American jazz greats before them... What the 'new guard' is doing, that the 'in-between' artists who came of age in the late 90's and very beginning of the 00's couldn't muster is owning their place in the historical pantheon of Rock & Roll. The road less taken is less taken for a reason. Instead of always trying to event your own sound, just be good at what you do, entertain an audience, and, if you're luck, collect a livable wage for doing so.

With that, Here's Panic! At the Disco entertaining us with Nine in the Afternoon.

Nebraska

2009-02-03T17:00:00.000-08:00

Nebraska,

You surprise me. I expected to spend eight to ten hours convincing myself into selecting Mannheim Steamroller, of whom founder Chip Davis was born. I expected to plumb the depths of musical obscurity to find a once famous one-hit-wonder like Zager and Evans who from straight out of Lincoln brought us the hit In The Year 2525. I expected to apologize for taking Swoosie Kurtz of Omaha or Marg Helgenberger of Fremont who don't sing, but at least you've heard of them. You surprise me, Nebraska, because I didn't have to fudge my way through your great musical history.

More to come on that later. For now, Nebraska deserves the full treatment, which includes assorted tidbits of useless if not hilarious misinformation. From Wikipedia and my own addled brain.

- Nebraska's name derives from it's position in the great plains of the US midwest, and the Platte River which flows through it. It was derived from the Otoe words Ñí Brásge, meaning 'Flat Water'. It ain't pretty, but it gets the job done.

- In the 1860's, the population of Nebraska boomed due to the federal government offering free land grants to settlers. Makes sense... I can't think of any OTHER reason to flock to Nebraska...

- Arbor Day began in Nebraska, and the National Arbor Day Foundation is still headquartered there, in Nebraska City.

- Yes, there is a National Arbor Day Foundation, and they have a website...

- Nebraska has ninety three counties for less than two million residents. All told, each county in Nebraska on average contains less than twenty thousand people. Nebraska might want to consider some consolidation... We're in a recession after all...

- The Republican River traverses the southern portion of the state of Nebraska. It is known to trample on the rights of citizens, deny the existence of science, refuses to accept or uphold the separation between church and state, and is constantly babbling about how those that do not agree with it are 'Un-American' and 'hate our country'.

- See... it's the REPUBLICAN river... so it does what REPUBLICANS do...

- Nebraska is a triply land locked state, meaning that it does not border an ocean, none of the states it borders border an ocean, and moreover, none of the states THEY border, border an ocean.

- What I'm saying is, Nebraska don't surf...

- Kool-Aid was created in 1927 by Edwin Perkins in the city of Hastings, Nebraska. OH YEAH!

- Nebraska native William Petersen bestowed upon a weary world the Vise-Grip. Before it's 1924 introduction, the mob squeezed info out of stoolies and rats via the much less effective 'salad tongs' technique. Sadly, they would be forced to wait three more years before quenching their post-head-crushing thirst with some ice cold Kool-Aid.

- CliffsNotes, used by thousands of students in lieu of actually reading a book, were invented in Nebraska, although were actually taken from a previously existing Canadian product known as Coles Notes. So the next time somebody gives you crap for using CliffsNotes instead of actually READING some crappy 400 page Dickens time waster, wow them with the knowledge that even Cliff himself took the short cut upon inventing his company. Then gladly accept your F and move on.

SPEAKING of moving on... Time for some musical selections most grand!

Solo Artist: Matthew Sweet

With catchy pop-rock hooks, studio wise lyrics that you can't help but sing in the shower, and a duet performance with venerable West Coast rock icon Lindsay Buckingham, everything about Matthew Sweet screams LA music industry creation. What makes him so much more than the highly entertaining sum of his parts is that the whole thing is 100% natural, and 100% fun.

Sweet is not a product of the LA scene, he's a kid from Lincoln, Nebraska who after bombing around local garage bands moved to Athens Georgia to hit it big in the Athens scene. He collaborated on a recording with REM front man Michael Stipe under the moniker Community Trolls, and worked with Stipe's sister in the band Oh-OK. His connections garnered him an early deal with Columbia records, but couldn't bestow on him any album sales, despite positive reviews from the critics.

Matthew was bounced from Columbia, and landed at A&M, a label that would be bought by Polygram and become hugely influential in the 1990's music scene. Sweet's first album with A&M fared about the same as his Columbia release again appealing more to critics than to the mainstream rock audience.

Poet Robert Frost once said that writing prose poetry was like playing tennis with the net down. Similarly, Matthew Sweet was working the pop-rock industry from an 'innovation first, music second' direction that similar to revolutionary prose poetry of the 50's was like playing pop music 'with the net down'. His 1991 album Girlfriend changed all of that.

Sweet recorded with a new back up band, penning and singing songs that were straight out of the 'this is how you play rock' catalog of the fifties with the lyrical and emotional bent that would become the standard of alt-rock in the 90's. Sweet grabbed his tennis racket, put up the net, and began winning matches. However, Sweet's fear of swimming in the mainstream would keep him on the shores of rock super-stardom. His 1993 followup album Altered Beast again impressed rock critics of notable regard but did not have the pop power of Girlfriend. It seemed as though Sweet wanted to stay on the sidelines, but still wanted to make a living doing what he loved.

My personal opinion is that he struck a chord in 1995 with 100% Fun, combining the darker more personal lyrics of songs like Sick of Myself and Not When I Needed It with undeniably catchy choruses and classic rock riffs. Fun sold well, much like the Girlfriend album earlier in the decade, but true to form Sweet returned to a less-mainstream, more personal sound on 1997's Blue Sky on Mars from which he has not returned.

More recently Sweet has collaborated with Bangles rhythm guitarist-vocalist Susanna Hoffs on a collection of 1960's rock tunes called Under The Covers Vol. I, and continues to release solo albums, most recently 2008's Sunshine Lies.

Here's the Sweet tune that reminded Gen X'ers that it's OK to dance, 1991's Girlfriend.

Band: 311

If this is your first visit to The Dance, welcome, and it's lovely to see you. If it is not, you likely already know that I'm perhaps unhealthily obsessed with the music of the 1990's. I make no apologies for this. It is the decade in which I came of age, and therefore officially 'my music.' Anything recorded between 1988 and 1999 I feel I can officially lay claim to regardless how dated or marginalized it may be today. As such, I respectfully submit 311 as the bandest with the mostest from the great state of Nebraska with no irony or mock intended.

Despite their more recent teeny-bopper following, 311 was at one time on the outside of pop music looking in. A mix of pop-rock, hip-hop, and reggae beats the band's early initial success with 1993's Do You Right was short lived when none of the tracks from their followup album Grassroots managed to chart. Not discouraged by this sophomore slump, their 1995 self-titled album scored three successful singles Don't Stay Home, All Mixed Up, and Down. Since then, the band's next five studio releases have all reached into the top fifteen on the Billboard album charts.

Admittedly I've cooled on 311 since the early days, but I think the change is more in me than it is in them. Still, when I'm looking for a fun time and a little more dance inspired beat, 311, along with So Cal's Sublime always fits the bill. Oddly, like Matthew Sweet, the music of 311 sounds much more LA than it does NE. Just another surprise from the center of the nation.

Here's the 311 song that led me to give them a listen in the first place. I received the cassette in the mail from a local indie radio station operating out of the LA area at the time. The long since defunct Album Alternative FM 101.9. The station only lasted two and a half years, and remains one of the brightest spots in the history of LA area radio. It was, of course, re-formatted to a Spanish language station, and now features the unstoppable radio force that is Piolin...

I digress... Here's 311...

Honorable Mention: Paul Williams

Cursed with a common name, and uncommon looks, Paul Williams isn't exactly a household name, but I'm betting by looking at the picture you're currently thinking to yourself, or saying out loud 'OH... THAT guy...' If you are saying it out loud, and in an otherwise public place, I suggest you immediately start vocalizing ALL your thoughts as loudly as possible until everyone around you is SO uncomfortable they stop staring and make a concentrated effort to ignore you. If someone asks you what's wrong, simply speak LOUDER.

Anyhow... Back to Paul 'Phantom of the Paradise' Williams. Aside from his long acting career including a turn as Swan in Brian De Palma's filmic interpretation of everything groovy about 1974, PW is an acclaimed songwriter, singer, and humanitarian. He is best known by the works of others. Others who perhaps had nicer voices, or prettier faces, but the talent was ALL Paul, much like the plot of his cult classic P of the P.

Paul wrote Three Dog Night's 'Old Fashioned Love Song', penned mega-hits 'Rain Days & Mondays' and 'We've Only Just Begun' for the Carpenters, and was even outshone by a frog-puppet, having been responsible for the Kermit classic 'Rainbow Connection'. Paul Williams has never been bitter though. In fact, he has led what I consider to be the perfect life of fame. He is known enough by true fans to be respected, and well compensated for his work, but remains far enough out of the spot light to still enjoy his anonymity. That is, unless he dons a cowboy hat. Then he's OBVIOUSLY the guy who played Little Enos Burdett in Smokey & The Bandit.

Here's one of Paul's works, and a favorite of The Dance...

Next time we're in a state, the bright light city's gonna set our soul, gonna set our soul on fire... That's right, get all geared up for Nevada... Home of Las Vegas, and Winnemucca!

Welcome, February

2009-02-02T10:23:00.000-08:00

Still uber busy, but done with travelling for the time being. Just dropped in to welcome our second, and shortest month, the 4 weeks known as February. As this is the 2nd, a few notes.

- Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers on winning a record 6th Superbowl, and on giving the city of Pittsburgh a viable reason to not commit ritualistic group suicide.

- Happy Birthday to Graham Nash. Here's hoping that Crosby, Stills, and Young take you out to a nice dinner at the Olive Garden.

- All hail Gobbler's Knob, the small burgh that captures our attention just long enough each year to see if a rodent is scared by it's own shadow. You must be so proud.

- Here's hoping none of you are cursed with Bill Murray's Disease and subsequently forced to live this day over and over for the rest of recorded time, but if you are, at least the weather is nice here in California...

Washington, the President... Not the state...

2009-01-23T14:50:00.000-08:00

So I apologize for my recent absence, and I regretfully inform that it's not actually over. I've been uber busy with work and will actually be on a trip all next week, but I may have a chance to get something out this weekend.

Regardless, enjoy this, because it's so full of win...

Also... We should all Surrender to Robin Zander. It's his birthday...

Die Christmas Die!

2009-01-18T21:17:00.000-08:00

The aftermath

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FYI

2009-01-18T19:30:00.000-08:00

Christmas is over

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Film Review: Die Screaming Marianne

2009-01-17T12:12:00.000-08:00

I figured with my enjoyment of Frightmare and House of Whipcord that I must have judged Die Screaming Marriane too harshly the first time around. As a result, I headed for the trusty movie rack, determined to give it another watch. What I found leads me to issue the following apology:

Dear Pete,

In my review of Frightmare, I repeatedly questioned your film making ability based on the quality of Die Screaming Marianne. I have now descovered that I've never watched said film, and the film I was disappointed by was actually the Amicus flick The Flesh and Blood Show. As a result I owe you a huge apology. No words can express my self disappointment for making such a foolish and careless mistake. I do not expect you to forgive me, but please humbly accept this review as a means to amend the damage I may have caused to your psyche.

Now that we have that out of the way, I think we can start this one with a renewed sense of good will. I know I sure feel better unburdening myself and as a result am ready for some dyed-corn-syrup fueled good times.

Die Screaming Marriane
Director: Pete Walker
Starring: Susan George, Barry Evans
1971

The menu music sounds like a death match between Traffic and The Ides of March. While I would pay good money to see that, I'm also cool with the shot of skimpy bathing suited Marianne frozen in a watusi of gore...

We open on top of a hill, overlooking a house. A scary house if the frenetic violin soundtrack is to be believed. To me it looks like the only thing creepy about this place would be watching it slide down the hill in a heavy downpour. Then again, looks can be deceiving, while violins typically are not...

As we make our way down the hill, we find that this is no home at all, but a dance club. A dance club featuring Marianne (The Hips) McDonald and two other performers who look vaguely like cartoonish drawings. That aught to make for one sexy show!

Just then, a jeep pulls up and it's a couple of Navy boys, there to collect their wayward comrade who apparently decided to put 'The Hips' to the test. When Marianne awakes to find her salior had shipped out, her disappointment rings out on the strings of a spanish guitar. Why must they always leave you Marianne? Was it your hips? Were they not all they were advertised to be? Alas, I'm sure there will be other sailors, or, as it turns out, balding greasy Spaniards in comically wide neck ties...

Turns out baldy and his pal Steve McSpain have something other than hips on their minds. Time will tell if they're hoods, looking to collect owed money, or the fuzz looking to collect Marianne and turn this into a women in prison film. Luckily for Marianne, she makes her escape just before baldy can nab her and finds herself on the lamb, being chased not just by Spain's latest casting of The Odd Couple, but also by a horrid Judy Collins style ballad... IMDB tells me that this horror is being inflicted by Kathe Green, who I can only assume was 'giving the hips' to dear old Pete to land herself this number...

Just as Marianne, who's theme tells us... REPEATEDLY... that 'love is not for', thinks she is free and clear of both the Spaniards of questionable integrity and the smoulderingly loungy self-ballad, she damn near gets run over by a Monkee in a hot rod.

Marianne is understandibly upset, having almost gotten smashied and all, and poor old Peter Tork is none too happy either. Here he was, driving along in his kit car, wearing a pair of silvered dinner plates over his eyes, and out of nowhere a tiny-dressed blond jumps right out in front of him? I mean what are you going to do right?

You do as Tork does, you offer her a lift...

As Marianne seems to have no problem shacking up with, and 'hipping' random military personell, she certainly has no qualms about accepting a ride from a mop headed young sports car enthusiast, so the two set about on their merry way...

We are treated to an odd driving-with-voiceover scene in which we find out Marianne and her new Monkee aquaintance are going to make their way from Spain, through France, and into England. This is where Peter is headed, obviously to spend some time with band mate Davy Jones, and Marianne is fine 'going all the way'... I'm not sure, but I think Pete is trying to tell us something...

Wait!

It's time to stop what your doing and enjoy the Credits Dance!

Pete even throws in a little Bond 'grooving in negative', just so we know the film we're watching is British

Tork's sonic sportster apparently travels at the speed of credits, because by the time the dancin' is through, we find Marianne and her main squeeze, who's legitimate film name is Sebastian (though I still prefer Peter Tork), living in a British flat, and Sabes talking marriage! We'll Ms. Hips McDonald will have none of that sort of foolishness... I mean, marriage means not 'givin' the hips' to assorted strangers, or galivanting in the countryside in mini dresses accepting rides from pop-star look alikes. That's not a life for our Marianne, she's a free spirit. Besides, you don't propose marriage in a shirt like that.

Regardless, Sabastian's good friend, Eli Frome is already waiting down stairs with a car, all tricked out with 'Just Married' ribbons. He's got a ring, and can get it done today, which sounds like a good enough reason to get married, so Marianne puts aside her convictions and goes along for the ride... That is, until she hears they'll be standing before a judge!

As they make their way into the courthouse, Marianne again raises her concerns about sharing nuptuals, only this time, we know her real fear is having to stand before a judge. She's just about ready to call off this sham wedding to a man she doesn't love and only met two weeks ago based more on her fear of arrest than anything else when 'best man' Eli utters the words no bride to be can resist. "C'mon, it won't kill you."

That's enough for Marianne to risk her future happiness and possibly her freedom! They grab an old lady peddling flowers to be the second witness, and make their way inside. As the ceremony begins, we find that Marianne has faked her last name, going by Marianne Evans, rather than Marianne McDonald. She also avoided including the knickname 'hips' figuring it just wasn't appropriate for a wedding. As the judge is doing his 'marriage is sacred, yada, yada, yada' Marianne begins to connect the dots. Eli is snickering, and she recalls a hushed phone conversation Sebastian was engaged in at an earlier time. Something is rotton in Denmark, or Sussex as it where. Yet, for no apparent reason, Marianne continues with the wedding.

The ceremony is complete, but there seems to be some sort of confusion as to which of the dashing wide-tied duo the teeny-dressed Marianne actually wed. She goes over to the registrar to set him straight while the boys go to secure a table at their Local, yet, we are not privy to Marianne's answer. Could she be turning the tables on these scallywags?

Whilst drowning her true feelings at the pub, Sebastian asks to see the marriage certificate, and our suspicions are proven. Marianne has married Eli, not poor old shaggy-headed Sabes. Sebastian is again, rightfully agitated, and drags Marianne back to the courthouse to make the change.

Seems that the court will require an annulment of the first marriage and then will need to re-perform the ceremony, which will take much too much time of our Mr. Sebastian Smith. The drunken flower lady thinks the whole bloody mess is quite a laugh, and Smith's white hot anger sure isn't making Marianne want to swap hubbies. Oh what WILL they do?

It seems that Sebastian, feeling jilted, no longer loves Marianne like he did, say, THIS MORNING, yet he cannot understand why she's packing up and leaving. Could it have been when you called her a cow? Perhaps when you dragged her against her will to the courthouse in the first place. It may have even started way back before the credits when you tried to run her over. Who knows how these things happen, but what's done is done, and Marianne is ready to start her new life with a husband she met earlier in the day, Mr. Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago.

Wait... wrong movie... Frome.. ELI FROME...

Marianne admits on the way out the door that she was on to Sabes and his little scheme, and she's back on her own again, chosing to ditch hubby Eli as well. Something tells me we haven't seen the last of Fromey though... Maybe it's that whole 'they never got the annulment' thing...

Still, you have to feel for our poor dejected Mr. Frome. Here he was minding his own business, when suddenly he's married to a blond looker, and is planning on 'getting some hips' on his honeymoon. Next thing you know, she skips town, leaving him to stuff his own boot... He even wore his fancy ascot...

Eli, not willing to take 'I barely know you and I think you and your friend are creepy pervs' for an answer, follows Marianne to a local coffee shop. Despite the fact that his friend tricked her into marriage apparently to steal her family's money from her, and despite the fact that she managed to get the hell out when she was sure of the plot against her, Marianne has no problem accepting Eli's offer to crash at his pad. After all, he promised he wouldn't tell Sebastain, and they ARE still married and all...

Meanwhile, our dear jilted Sabes hops aboard the the cheapest and dirtiest flight he can find and makes his way back to the Portuguese countryside where he first met his never-quite-bride.

Wandering alone on a Portugual road, the violin chorus reminds us that we're supposed to feel bad for him. Meanwhile, the heartless floozy Marianne is back in Britian, her mellons bouncing in the breeze...

Seriously... she's holding a mellon.

Marianne heads inside, mellon in tow, and we find that Eli likes to spend his time alone pretending to play the saxaphone. When Marianne comes in he stops the charade and desides to share a mellon. The two have a common tenant/landlord conversation regarding paying for rent in the form of sexiness and Marianne get's to 'showing the hips' in exchange for her board.

Now before you go thinking that Eli is some slime ball, Marianne offered... all he did was feign suprise and then get down to gettin' down. He may be a lousy saxaphone player who doesn't know how to dress himself, but our Eli is a gentleman...

So while Eli is 'cashing the rent check', we return to Sebastian and his trek across Spain, or Portugal, or some penninsular country... He comes to a home occupied by Senior Baldy Wide-Tie and tells him he has news of Marianne. Know we're on to Sabe's little game. Marianne wouldn't take him as her husband, so now he's going to bring her world crashing down... My Sabes, you're quite the little douche bag aren't you?

We find that Sebastian's new friends are Marianne's family, her half-sister Hildegarde and daddy, The Judge. As Sabes shares a dinner with his never-quite-in-laws, Marianne uses the 'hips for rent' exchange as an opportunity to share her life story with Eli. He tells her in so many words to shut the hell up, and I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a romantic 'your past doesn't matter' gesture or an 'I'm tired and want to take a nap' gesture. Either way, Marianne's secret goes untold... For now...

I feel it's important to make a plea here as a concerned human being looking out for his fellow people. Hildegard, you have a problem. Get some help. I'm not sure what drugs you are on, but if I had to guess, I'd say all of them.

After dinner, a very creepy father-daughter-hair-brushing-and-neck-massage scene tells us the true intentions of the clan McDonald as to the fate of dear Marianne. In two weeks she will turn twenty one, at which time she will come into a great deal of money left to her by her passed mother. Hildegard and The Judge were using Sebastian to try and get Marianne to marry, and give them access to the funds. Now that the plan has gone astray, Hildegard thinks the best option is to give Marianne a proper killin', while the judge feels that something more boring and painstakingly long winded should be the next course of action. I kind of zoned out at this point and started to check my e-mail, and see what was going on in the news. I'm sure when I get back nothing will have happened, because what I'm learning about Die Screaming Marianne so far is that nothing ever really happens...

Oh Pete, just when I give up hope that you're going to give us anything at all interesting, you have coked out Hildegard tell HER FATHER that she's often considered taking him to bed... I think I may have put my finger on why Marianne got away from these fruitloops... Cooler heads prevail as The Judge reminds dear Hildy that incest is a crime. He also urges her to 'use our young friend' if you 'cannot control your baser instincts.' What a loving and supporting father...

So the night goes by with Hildy getting a little Sabes action and Marianne taking another turn on the Fromeinator whilst poor daddy is forced to sit alone in bed with a book and a cigar. Despite all the freaky bedding down going on, nothing more than a wimper and a mewl is ever seen on camera. C'mon Pete, if you're not going to give us any gore, at least give us some lovin'... Otherwise this is turing into a Lifetime Original awfully quick...

Eli finishes another round of 'hip examination' by falling asleep while Marianne tries to bare her soul, and the next thing we know it's morning. Sabes and Hildy are enjoying breakfast by the pool. During a friendly lovers chat about murder and profit sharing, Sabes lets slip that Marianne has hitched her wagon to a shining Eli. Hildy doesn't miss the slip of the tounge and asks Baldy El Combover to soften him up for her next question. Apparently that involves a little bit of fully clothed pooltime grabass.

Sebastian spills the beans, Hildy telss The Judge, and the three all inexplicably go out for a horse ride across the Spanish countryside. I could be way off base here, but I think old Pete is getting as bored with this flick as I am. While on their ride, The Judge offers Sabes three thousand pounds to bring Marianne back to him. He is aware about her newly weddedness, so he requests that Mr. Smith returns with Eli in tow. Sabes seems pleased with the offer and sets out on his quest.

Meanwhile, the police make contact with Eli back in Britian. It seems that his bride and...ehem... 'renter' may be in some trouble with the authorities. This interrigation brought to you by Milmar Tailors

We've reached the forty minute point and it damn well feels like we are into the sixth hour. I wouldn't blame you if you stopped reading. At this point I'm considering switching over to CSPAN just to witness a little more fast paced action. The next few minutes are dedicated entirely to Eli sitting on the couch while one of our suppsoed police inspectors wanders the shanty apartment they are using for the 'interregation' looking for impliments in which to quietly and cleanly murder Eli. Our man Frome has a pretty good idea what is going on, so he does what anybody fearing for their life would do. He slowly rises and takes a look out the window.

Eli, now thouroughly convinced that rug is going to be used to wrap up his body once he's been offed, makes his grand move to escape! Oh, no he doesn't. He slowly walks back over to the couch and sits down. OK, I guess thats another way of handling the situation...

Ok, he just wanted to finish his smoke. Eli snuffs his butt, slams the door on the wandering assassin who is waiting in the kitchen, and dashes out the front door. The rug weilding baddie is on his way up the stairs, so Eli's 'fight or flight' instincts kick in, and he retreaves the 3/4 inch pocket knife from his jeans. The professional killer and the moron with a pocket knife stare each other down, in a moment that could not be filled with any less tension. Eli makes his move to bolt past Rugman, but Ruggy has other plans and puts Eli in a headlock. If professional wrestling has taught us anything it's that no one gets out of a sleeper old. Then again, professional wrestlers aren't usually carrying tiny pocket knives.

Marianne comes home to find the bloody Eli brooding in the dark and presses him for details. Eli tries to hide the fact that them men were after Marianne, but The Hips knows the score. All of a sudden Eli is interested in nothing more than to hear ALL about Marianne's past. Funny, you had every opportunity to hear the story LAST NIGHT pal, but you decided to go to sleep instead... Sheesh.. MEN...

Marianne give him the rundown she already tried to last night, and Eli tries to play the nice guy and tell her to take her time.

HOLY GOD! THE BALLAD IS BACK!!!

Marianne leaves in the middle of the night as Eli somehow manages to sleep through the caterwalling of Ms. Green and I wish the sweet release of sleep would wash over me, but alas, I'm wide awake...

Sabes has returned to London and brought a sinister horn section with him. Marianne hitches a ride, and Sabes heads to Eli's flat. Sebastian's knocking wakes Eli, who is not yet aware that Marianne has left. Marianne hitches to a random field where she decides to take a nap and have a smoke. Yeah, I don't know either. Eli and Sabes have a heart to heart and Sabes convinces Eli he has no feeling any longer for the woman who jilted him and they head off to find the young Ms. McDonald.

Eli tells Sebastian about the murder plot and Sabes tells Eli he's been in Portugal, or Spain, or mayby Italy, all he knows is there's water on both sides, with The Judge. Eli, despite the fact that he thinks The Judge is trying to kill him, is cool with this fact and they take off in search of the runaway bride.

Marianne looks for work, but now that she's found the love of her Eli, she can't go back to a life of floozy dancing, 'giving the hips' to any strange sailor she meets, so she leaves after being offered a spot at a local gentlemen's establishment. The hopeful violins tell us she's back on her way to Eli's to reunite with her love. Awww... Isn't that sweet. Good lord I couldn't care less about ANY of these people...

Marianne brushes her teeth, removes her pants, and heads for bed, where she finds Eli sleeping with the newspaper over his head. She begins to profess her undying love for him when he reveals he's not Eli at all, but Sebastian! The two exchange insults, and Eli returns home. He asks Marianne to put on the kettle for tea, Marianne gets pissed, and then she's taking a bath while Eli looks on. Seriously, it happened just like that. Pete obviously thinks we've all tuned out and are just looking for a little more naked Marianne, which is pretty much correct. Unfortunately, this is as close as we get.

OK. I'm just going to give the last forty minutes of this a quick watch, and I'll catch you up after. I get the feeling you're not going to miss anything.

Marianne and Eli go to see The Judge.

Marianne wears a rediculous white pants suit.

The Judge distracts Eli with his HUGE polka dotted ascot.

Hildy matches Marianne's all white ensemble with an all black one of her own.

Marianne tells Eli she knows the number of a Swiss bank account with a half million pounds in it.

Marianne frolicks in her bikini

Hildy tries to kill Marianne in the sauna

The Judge Dies.

Marianne escapes the sauna through a roof hatch.

Only thirteen more minutes until I get my life back

Sabes falls out a window, breaks leg.

Marianne finds out Eli is dead too

Hildy goes nuts, Rodriguez kills her. Oh, Baldo De Hairless is actually named Rodriguez...

The Awful ballad comes back... AGAIN...

The End

Pete,

Earlier I issued an apology for dismissing the merits of your film unjustly. Now I come to find that it was actually worse than I could have possibly imagined. I'm not sure what you were going for here, but I am positive you failed. The only bright spot about the film is the fact that it ended. May God have mercy on your soul.

Montana: Land of Guns and Moose... But not Moose with Guns...

2009-01-16T22:50:00.000-08:00

Montana ,

You're a good sized state with sprawling vistas, mountains, lakes, and rivers. The elite like to build vacation homes within your borders and pretend they're old west cowboys. You've given us hours of entertainment through jokes relating to your cities Helena and Butte, but you're a vast wasteland of uselessness when it comes to modern music.

What I'm saying is, it's not me Montana, it's you.

If only Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine, or Willie Nelson, or Vanilla Fudge were from Montana, but no. Not a Leæther Strip, Perry Como, or Mannheim Steamroller to be found. No Doris Day, no Tool, no Yanni... To my knowledge, not a SINGLE Montanan has ever played Live at the Acropolis, performed in a video containing puppets watching pipes full of meat, or had a Dutch band sing a song about them.

Don't believe me? Here's the list of famous Montanans from 50states.com

Dorothy Baker author, Missoula
Dirk Benedict actor, Helena
W. A. Tony Boyle labor union official, Bald Butte
Dana Carvey comedian, Missoula
Gary Cooper actor, Helena
Chet Huntley journalist, TV newscaster, Cardwell
Will James writer, artist, Great Falls
Evel Knievel daredevil motorcyclist, Butte
Jerry Kramer football player, author, Jordan
Myrna Loy actress, Helena
David Lynch filmmaker, Missoula
George Montgomery actor, Brady
Jeannette Rankin first woman elected to Congress, Missoula
Martha Raye actress, Butte
Michael Smuin choreographer
Lester C. Thurow economist, educator, Livingston

There's really nothing to work with here. Nothing at all. I guess I can worry about that later though. For now, there's Wikithings to fill space with:

- I know what you're thinking. No, Dirk Benedict never recorded a Starbuck Sings the Blues album, he also didn't drop a guest vocal as Face on Mr. T's Commandments. It's obvious to me that Dirk Benedict does not have my blog's best interests at heart.

- Montana (The Band) like Mississippi (The Band) is from Australia. I'm not sure why Aussies are so fascinated by naming bands after US states, but admittedly, I would have been surprised if Montana (The Band) actually WAS from Montana (The State).

- I found a singer from Montana! Pop star Neli Rangelova is from Montana... Bulgaria...

- Montana (The State, not The Band or The Bulgarian City) has the distinction of being the state bordering the most Canadian provinces. (British Columbia, Alberta, and Saskatchewan). It also borders 4 states (Idaho, Wyoming, North Dakota, and South Dakota). You'd think with all those neighbors SOMEBODY could have loaned them a rock band...

- Montana nicknames include Treasure State, Big Sky Country, and The Last Best Place. Montana nicknames do NOT include We Make Music, Form a Band Here, or We Like To Support Bloggers Who Make Lists About States' Musical Talents.

- Montana is ranked 44th in the nation in terms of population, yet 4th in the nation in terms of size (Only Alaska, Texas, and California are larger). As a result, the state ranks 48th out of 50 in terms of population density (Only Alaskans and Wyomingites have more room to spread out).

- Hannah Montana is the fictional alter ego of Tennessee's Miley Cyrus. That may be good enough to make the list...

- The Helena Handbaskets often battle the Butte Pirates for the battle of made up Montana sports teams. However, this year's championship went to the Helena Shripboats who defeated the Butte Kickers in an event that apparently did not require kicking buttes...

- For some reason, Butte always ends up bringing up the rear in these contests...

- Less than 1% of to Montana population identify themselves as African-American. We *may* have just pinpointed the reason for the lack of musical talent...

- Montana is a relative hub of beer microbrewing, ranking third in the nation in number of craft breweries per capita. How are they ranked 44th in population?

- Montana has no sales tax. Seriously... I want to live here.

- Per capita personal income in 2003 was $25,406, 47th in the nation. I LOVE California...

- The largest city on Montana is Billings. Know who is from Billings? Nobody.

- Petroleum County, Montana has a population of four hundred and seventy people. This means the aforementioned Miley Cyrus could give each resident of the county $10,638.30 and still have over $20 million dollars remaining from her purported 2008 earnings. I bet for that cash she could have Petroleum renamed...

- That's right, for just 1/5th of her 2008 earnings, Miley Cyrus could likely have the county of Petroleum change it's name to the county of Hannah, Montana...

Alright, I think I've cobbled together some choices, though they're shaky at best...

The selections:

Solo Artist: Colin Meloy

Meloy has released four solo EP's full of covers ranging from Morrissey, to Shirley Collins, to Sam Cooke. He was also the lead singer for indie Montana bands Happy Cactus and Tarkio, but he is best known as the lead singer for Oregon indie folk-rockers, The Decemberists.

This is really more of a 'pick to click' rather than a 'look at what this guy has done' selection. There's some good tunes amongst the first four Decemberist releases. Enough good that venerable Seattle based indie label Kill Rock Stars lost them to Capitol prior to the release of their fourth long play The Crane Wife. Still, in any other state they likely wouldn't get a sniff, or would at best get a side mention as another band from the state. Here in Montana though, we'll take what we can get, so the lead singer of a little known Oregon act it is.

Here is a Decemberists cut from the above mentioned album. The track is called O Valencia

Band: Through the birth of founding member and bass player Jeff Ament, Pearl Jam.

This is a total cop out, but Montana needs some help, and Washington has musicians to spare, so just for now Stone Gossard, Mike McCready, Eddie Vedder, and Matt Cameron will join Ament as honorary Montanans.

Ament and Gossard were original members of underground grunge pioneer band Mother Love Bone who broke up following to heroin overdose and subsequent death of lead singer Andrew Wood. MLB's debut album, Apple, was released within days of Wood's passing.

All was not lost however. The experience Ament and Gossard had gained from Mother Love Bone, and their prior work in underground Seattle rock band Green River allowed their new group, Pearl Jam, hit the ground running, releasing one of the most influential debuts of the grunge movement, 1991's Ten. Together with other Seattle based bands Nirvana, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Mudhoney, Screaming Trees, and side projects made up of assorted members of though groups like Mad Season, and Temple of the Dog, Pearl Jam built a new kind of music based more on the artists and their instruments rather than the corporate machines, and in studio finishes of much of the other popular music of their generation. Grunge rock, like the flannel and unwashed fashion it inspired, had gone the way of the dodo by the turn of the millennium, but the DIY revolution it inspired lives today in the form of every unsigned band selling tracks on iTunes and getting their name out there with MySpace. Grunge, and the Internet have shaped the music industry of today, and after Kurt Cobain's suicide, Pearl Jam became the most recognizable, influential, and successful face of grunge.

Here are MONTANA'S favorite Seattle band singing a song whilst kids throw mud...

Honorable Mention: Steve Albini

You may not know Steve Albini by name, you may not have heard of of his bands Big Black, Rapeman, Flour, or Shellac, but you're probably still familiar with his work. As the founder, owner and operator of Electrical Audio in Chicago, Albini, who's family settled in Missoula, Montana when Steve was 12, has engineered and recorded albums by Pixies, Nirvana, PJ Harvey, Bush, Page and Plant, The Stooges, Urge Overkill, Breeders, The Jesus Lizard, Fugazi, Fred Schneider, Veruca Salt, Gogol Bordello, Scott Weiland, and Manic Street Preachers. Since opening shop in 1985, Albini has engineered in whole or part, over four hundred albums, mostly for indie outfits looking to get a start. Not just a sound engineering genius, but a purveyor of what's now and real in rock music...

If you're thinking 'What's so special about taping someone else playing music?' You are missing the difference between a Steve Albini recording and a random-studio-multi-track-nameless-machine recording. One of the staples of Albini's recording style is using strategically placed microphones in a 'live in studio' setting to capture the breadth of a song as the band plays together, rather than overlaying multiple tracks on top of one another. While multi-track recording has it's place, for example, it allowed The Beatles to record all thirteen instruments played on The Ballad of John and Yoko despite the fact that John and Paul were the only two band members playing on the recording, it also eliminates the raw power and collaboration of listening to musicians play off of one another. Albini's ability to pull the perfect recording out of the chaos of a live in studio performance is worth of recognition, even if he wasn't from Montana.
Take for example this gem, for the classic Pixies album and Steve Albini project, Surfer Rosa. This is Where Is My Mind?

It took some creative selecting, but Montana is complete, and with it, so are the 'M' states... Man, I'm glad those are done since there's like EIGHT of them... Glad thing we're moving on the the 'N's... Since there's only... eight... of them... Anyhoo, next time I do a state, It'll be the state of Nebraska.

Happy Birthday to You... Happy Birthday to You

2009-01-15T07:41:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday dear Captain Beefheart, Happy Birthday to You...

In honor of the sixty eighth anniversary of your birth, I have purchased you a replica trout mask... What's this? You already have one?

Oh well, happy birthday anyhow...

Posthumous birthday wishes also go out into the ether for Ronnie Van Zant. My dislike for Lynyrd Skynyrd not withstanding, without Ronnie, no one would ever have the opportunity to yell 'FREEBIRD!!!!' at a rock concert. Oh to have such a legacy...

Ronnie's bro Donnie also scored a hit with his band .38 Special (Not to be confused with Ronnie's bro Johnny who took over the vocals for Skynyrd's 2nd incarnation running from 1987 to the present day.)

Here's the original singin' Zan Vant, who would have turned sixty one today, performing a song that everyone on the planet other than me thinks is a Rock & Roll classic...

Missouri loves company

2009-01-13T10:10:00.000-08:00

Nestled just a click east of the dead center of our nation, Missouri fulfills it's role as a microcosm of the greatness of America. It shares the Midwestern sensibilities of neighbors like Kansas, Nebraska and Iowa, has the bustling metropolis feel in Kansas City and St. Louis reminiscent of neighboring Illinois' Chicago, yet still has roots firmly planted in the southern soil like neighboring Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas, and Oklahoma. Seeing the amount of neighborly influence on the culture of Missouri, no wonder it's home to such a diverse and talented music community.

As is customary here in Dancylvania however, we will delay our musical aspirations in favor of more informative pursuits. By informative, I really mean useless and mostly false tales concocted from the modicum of truth found on the pages of Wikipedia.

- Missouri and it's neighbor Tennessee both share borders with eight other states. No state in the union lies adjacent to more. The two are known to get together and mock Kentucky for it's measly SEVEN neighboring states.

- The origin of the name Missouri is mildly complex, and entirely WTF?ly... The state is named for the Missouri river. The river is named for the Siouan tribe of native Americans who's name in the Illinois language of the native Illinois Confederacy was ouemessourita meaning 'those who have dugout canoes'. Correct. The state of Missouri basically means 'those who have dugout canoes'. Word to the wise, Missouri, just tell people your state name has no meaning like Hawai'i does.

- The 'correct' pronunciation of Missouri is somewhat debatable, with some people pronouncing it Mizz-oo-ree, while others pronounce it Mizz-oo-ruh. A thorough study was conducted by dialectologist Donald Max Lance in which he determined that there is no correct way to pronounce Missouri. As a result, from now on Missouri will be pronounced the same way the unpronounceable symbol Prince changed his name to in the 90's was... That is to say, not at all. If you need to make reference to the state, it will now be The State Formerly Known As Missouri. Feel free to pronounce with either the 'ee' ending or the 'uh' ending. I don't care.

- The topography of TSFKA Missouri is as diverse as it's culture, or pronunciation. From plains in the north and west to rolling hills in the middle, all the way to Ozark mountain foothills in the state's southeastern quarter. The southeastern bootheel just to the north of Arkansas is part of the Mississippi embayment, and the lowest, flattest, and wettest part of the state. You cannot define Missouri in simple terms. It is like the wind, and yet, does not blow. Missouri will be putting out it's own perfume in the fall.

- Missouri generally has a humid continental climate (Koppen climate classification Dfa). In other words, it's hot in the summer, and cold in the winter. (OCKerouac climate classification Sameaseverywhereelse)

- Missouri is known as the Show Me State, which just sounds rude. What exactly is it I'm supposed to show you? If I simply TELL you about something is that not good enough? Are you calling me a liar Missouri? I've done nothing but stand up for you all post and now you pull this 'show me' crap? How's about I show you my foot straight up your Cassville?

- Hundreds upon hundreds of famous people were either born in, or once lived in the state of Missouri. Let's just say everyone you have ever heard of at one point or another was a Missourian.

- Marlin Perkins was born in Missouri, and died there too. In between he spent a lot of time at the zoo.

- Long time voice of the Cubs, Harry Caray was born in Cardinal country, St. Louis. I assume this wasn't common knowledge amongst the bleacher bums at Wrigley Field, lest they toss opposing HR balls into the booth rather than back on the field...

- Businessman J. C. Penney was born in Missouri, and has forged a legacy of well priced pants that lasts to this very day.

- Adolphus Busch, known for his beer, was born in Germany but picked Missouri as the home for his brewery. Today Anheuser-Busch is still headquartered in St. Louis, and gets people drunk all over the globe.

- There's more, plenty of them. Like I said, everybody was born, has lived, or will live in Missouri at some point in their lifetime. I have not, but I'm sure my time will come.

- The largest single city in Missouri is Kansas City, located at the western edge of the state, on the Kansas border. The largest metropolitan area in Missouri is the greater St. Louis area located on the state's eastern border. If everyone in Kansas City immediately hopped in their cars and took I70 to St. Louis, the state of Missouri would flip over and crush Illinois. This might sound like a fun practical joke, but once you've flipped over a whole state how do you plan to flip it BACK over so people can get on with their lives? You didn't think that part through did you? Maybe you should remember that your ACTIONS have CONSEQUENCES.

- I'm ashamed of you. Now go to your room.

- The U.S. Census of 2000 found that the population center of the United States is in Phelps County, Missouri. If you just clicked to read the US Census definition of population center, then you're probably thinking about flipping over the whole country. I urge you to remember our talk. You may think it's funny, until you're face down in the Atlantic Ocean...

Enough of this foolishness! I've got things to do and musicians to pick! I don't have time to monkey around with this cockamamie bull-puckey any longer!

The Selections:

Solo Artist- Chuck Berry

Charles Edward Anderson Berry came into this world in 1926 in St. Louis, Missouri. He spent the first twenty nine years of his life trying to hold down odd jobs while staying out of trouble with the law. He began dabbling in the guitar as a teen, but needed to make a living, and blues guitarists weren't exactly swimming in riches in the 1940's and early 50's. In 1955 Berry was urged by Muddy Waters to contact Leonard Chess of Chess Records. Chess tapped Berry to be the face of the new movement away from rhythm & blues and toward rock & roll. In may of 1955 Berry recorded Maybellene, a cover of an old country and western recording by Bob Wills, entitled Ida Red. Chess' impression of Berry's cross over success was spot on. Maybellene sold over a million copies and rocketed Berry onto a career path that continues to this day.

Chuck's stardom didn't help keep him out of trouble. By the end of the 50's Berry had established a string of hits including School Days, Rock and Roll Music, Sweet Little Sixteen, and Johnny B. Goode that made him a bonafide superstar. He had also established his own St. Louis-based nightclub, called Berry's Club Bandstand. In December 1959, Berry invited a 14-year-old Apache waitress whom he met in Mexico to work as a hat check girl at his club. After being fired from the club, the girl was arrested on a prostitution charge and Berry was arrested under the Mann Act. Berry spent five years in prison convicted more because of the color of his skin than for any actual wrong doing. The Mann act was used to prosecute a number of celebrities, including Charlie Chaplin, Frank Lloyd Wright, sociologist William I. Thomas mostly for inappropriate sexual contact with under aged girls (Though Wright's was for transporting his then wife's daughter across state lines without the knowledge of the girl's father). However; of all the famous faces facing Mann Act charges in the early days of the law, only Rex Ingram , Jack Johnson and Chuck Berry's convictions led to jail time. It was no coincidence that all three were African American.

Despite this racial injustice, Berry returned to recording after his release from prison, and within two years had six more hits on the Billboard top 100 chart including No Particular Place To Go (#10), You Never Can Tell (#14), and Nadine (#23). In the late 60's Berry's selling power diminished, and he became a touring act more than a hit maker. However, a 1972 live issue of Berry's novelty track My Ding-a-Ling became his one and only #1 hit.

In 1979, Chuck found himself in trouble again. This time he plead guilty to tax evasion and spent 4 months in jail. He was later invited the same year to play at the White House at the request of President Jimmy Carter. 1979 also marked the release of Berry's last studio album to date. He continued to tour though, and to this day still played monthly at Blueberry Hill in St. Louis.

Here he is, performing a track that in turn will save Marty McFly's life...

Band- Uncle Tupelo/Wilco

There is a relatively under appreciated sub-genre of alternative rock music who's roots are firmly planted in the St. Louis soil. Beginning in the early part of the 1980's a garage band named The Primitives were trying to make a name for themselves on the St. Louis club circuit. Originally a punk rock outfit, the club goers in early 80's St. Louis didn't want to hear punk acts, so to get gigs they combined their punk rock pacing with a more traditional blues chord progression. Lo and behold, The Primitives, who later changed their name to Uncle Tupelo due to a British band of the same name, along with the discerning audiences in the St. Louis club scene, created Alternative country. Uncle Tupelo's 1990 album No Depression is considered the penultimate example and opening salvo of the alt-country revolution.

Unfortunately, like many pioneering artists, Uncle Tupelo never developed much more than a cult following, and eventually split up after just 4 years of major label activity. Our story does not end here however. UT was a dual-lead group made up of vocals from both Jay Farrar and Jeff Tweedy. Farrar went on to form Son Volt, a band most closely resembling the alt-country legacy of the original Tupelo. Tweedy, in a move much more fitting with the alt-genre nature of UT formed Wilco, a band that has changed styles as often as it has members.

Wilco's first post-UT release A.M., remained true to the country rock roots of Tupelo, but from there, Jeff Tweedy, John Stirratt, and their revolving cohorts have branched out to alt-rock, folk-rock, and experimental music. Part REM, part Sonic Youth and all college-radio Gods, Wilco has cut a swatch across the alternative music landscape with seven albums of this-is-what-you-should-be-listening-to tracks that make the listener feel like part of a movement rather than a passive observer. Upon first hearing their double album Being There I admit I was not a fan. It wasn't until I started getting tired of pretty much everything else coming off of pop-alt radio that I went back and full appreciated what these guys were doing. Wilco is not for the casual listener, it's for the listener who has already heard everything that there is to hear and still wants something more. In that way, Wilco makes you appreciate all other music more, because it's the palate cleanser between a steady diet of similarity.

Here's a track from their 2002 Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, an album rejected by Wilco's first label Reprise and later picked up by Nonesuch Records. YHF has become Wilco's best selling album to date. The even more ironic twist? Reprise and Nonesuch are both subsidiaries of Warner Brothers, who ultimately paid to produce the album under one label, and then paid to purchase it under another. This track is called Heavy Metal Drummer.

Honorable Mention- Burt Bacharach

Have you ever found yourself tapping your toes to a familiar tune you just couldn't place? Drifting away on a smooth melody who's name escaped you? Identifying with an expertly crafted rhyme scheme lyric that makes your heart swoon and ache with the same longing as the singer, even though you're not sure the name of the track? Have you ever found yourself wondering who wrote this exquisite and elusive contemporary classic? It was Burt Bacharach.

Between his early days as a pianist, arranger and bandleader for Marlene Dietrich and his more recent work as a guest vocal coach on the bane of my existence, American Idol, Bacharach crafted seventy top 40 hits in the US, and fifty two in the UK.

Consider for a moment the meaning of those numbers.

One of the most influential recording groups in history, The Velvet Underground, released a total of five studio albums containing forty eight individual songs. Bacharach was responsible for twenty two MORE TOP 40 HITS than The Velvet Underground had SONGS.

At an average of three minutes per song, it would take three and a half HOURS of listening to ingest all of Bacharach's charting singles.

I would post the full list here, but it will make for an awfully long post. You can view all of the tracks on the Wikipedia link, but some of my personal favorites include: Baby It's You, Any Day Now, Wishin' and Hopin', Walk on By, I Just Don't Know What to Do with Myself, "(There's) Always Something There to Remind Me, What's New Pussycat?, I'll Never Fall in Love Again, and Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head

Thirty years passed between Bacharach and lyracist Hal David's first US hit The Story of My Life recorded by Marty Robbins in 1957 and his most recent chart topper 1987's Love Power by Dionne Warwick and Jeffrey Osborne. That doesn't mean Bacharach has stopped by any stretch of the imagination. His most recent work includes collaberations with Ronald Isley, Rufus Wainwright, Dr. Dre, and my personal favorite Elvis Costello releasing the 1998 Painted From Memory album.

Bacharach's life has not been without pain. His daughter Nikki, born to Bacharach's second wife Angie Dickinson and the inspiration for one of Bacharach's more notable instrumental peices, Nikki, was diagnosed with severe Asperger Syndrome, and spend nine years of her young life in a medical treatment center. In January of 2007, Nikki Bacharach could no longer take the fear and confusion brought on by the brain disease and committed suicide to end her suffering. Bacharach has three other children including an adopted son Christopher, from his marriage with Carole Bayer Sager and a son and daughter Oliver and Raleigh from his current marriage to Jane Strauss Hanson.

Here's Burt and Elvis, with This House is Empty Now

Alphabetically, Missouri is the 25th state, and by adding in Washington DC (Under District of Columbia) I am now officially over halfway done with the 50 state strategy. The good news is I didn't think I'd ever actually make it this far. The bad news is now I have to figure out who the hell came from Montana...

New Music News and Notes

2009-01-12T22:00:00.000-08:00

Trying to make the most of my flying-solo weekend, I spent Saturday night cruising around the county, listening to XMU on my satellite radio, and I stopped for an hour at the Coffee Bean on Harbor & 19th to sit outside, enjoy a cup of coffee, and ingest the first KEXP podcast for 2009. The sheer joy and twinge of guilt at sitting outside without so much as a jacket at 8:00 on a January night while poor CSD Julie was freezing her tail off in Detroit was not lost on me, which is why I made the commitment to spend the full hour of the podcast soaking up the above-averageness of the weather, and to take notes on the selections from this best of the best for 2008 podcast.

Below are some of those notes and links to support these new artists.

Bon Iver- Skinny Love: Every indie outlet across the nation played the hell out of Bon Iver through 2008. I first heard this track on a much earlier KEXP podcast, and then heard it a few times on satellite. Every time I hear this, or any other Iver track, I like it more than I did the last time. For the fullest enjoyment, give it a listen through a pair of headphones. If you still don't like it, listen to it two or three more times and you'll be surprised...

The Dears- Disclaimer: With an opening riff reminiscent of U2's All You Can't Leave Behind album and a sax background that would make Morphine proud, this Montreal band is another solid reminder that Canada is where it's at for new music. Listen for the tambourine just before the vocals start at about 2 minutes in. It adds a Velvet Underground feel to the track that's more flattering than mocking. Very good stuff.

Cloud Cult- The Ghost Inside Our House: The acoustic guitar intro has that folk-ballad 'squeak' that comes from chord transitioning but adds a realistic home-studio quality to the sound. I'm not sure what I dig so much about that little unintentional sound, but it's almost like a hidden 'behind the scenes' peek at the song. This one is more about the lyrics than the tune though with Beat allusions, (see lyric: 'packed up my clothes in a grocery bag') and a decidedly Simon & Garfunkel feel, ('watched you sleep until 5am') culminating with a less-than-standard bridge provided by violin and this Minnesota seven-piece is aiming for a long run on the college and folk radio circuit.

Elliot Brood- Write it all Down for You: What's this? Another Canadian? This gravel-grunge voiced 'Folk/Acoustic/Soul' trio combines the elements of modern folk seen in a majority of present-day college radio tracks mixed with a 90's grunge flair that allows them to stand out from their countless and nameless contemporaries. At 2:48 listen for a little 'found percussion' breakdown reminiscent of a third generation of indie rock, the new wave sound of early Adam & The Ants. Score another one for the Great White North.

Mochipet- Sharp Drest: This Cali tongue-in-cheek hip-hop act is effing awesome. Like Humpty Hump teamed up with the Bloodhound Gang and brought Salt-n-Pepa along for the ride. Between dropping love for the Rat Pack and quoting ZZ Top they're 'chillin on the beach like they was San Diagans.' Once in a while you've had enough breaking-point idiosyncratic emotional drama songs and just want a little fun. Insert Mochipet here...

The Acorn- Flood part I: It's a little scary how in-tune CSD Julie and I are. I gave this track a listen on Saturday night, and highlighted it to blog about as I'm doing now. The following afternoon (Sunday) I receive the following message on Facebook from my dear wife as she's working on the other side of the country. "Music that Matters is playing the band The Acorn, song: The Flood. Very cool and a little Vampire Weekend sounding..." I didn't hear much VW in it, although they both incorporate a world beat sound. What I was impressed by is the 'polished' nature of the sound. As a matter of fact, before the DJ mentioned the artist I was convinced it was a track from the new David Byrne / Brian Eno album Everything That Happens Will Happen Today. Instead it's from a sophomore full length out of guess where? Canada!

Frightened Rabbit- I Feel Better: This four piece's Myspace page proclaims- 'You are currently reading about Frightened Rabbit. They are a band who live in Glasgow and have done for some time. They record in bedrooms, cupboards and kitchens. Anyone can be in Frightened Rabbit. They have played some live shows in this city, but want to meet people from other cities, in order that they can come and blow into tubes when they play live. Lets keep pop music alive by getting it out of that dress and into a sweater.' My impression is they sound like Glasvegas mixed with... Well, they sound a lot like Glasvegas, and there's nothing wrong with that. Strap on a sweater and give them a listen!

Bang Bang Eche- 4 to the Floor: We finish our world tour of indie newness with a quintet of young Kiwi's. New Zealand's Bang Bang Eche combines dance, indie, rock, new wave, and pop with a vocal delivery oddly similar to The Stranglers. Think the spoken-word style bravado of Peaches more than the pop assimilation of Always the Sun. Is this the new sound of revolutionary garage rock? It's quick, it's dirty, and it's as DIY as it gets. From their Myspace: 'Unsigned but you better believe we're Major.' I'm willing to wager from the exposure that the 'unsigned' part won't be true much longer...

Hope you enjoyed the year's first new music rundown. As part of my 2009 goal to pay closer attention to the newest of the new I'm going to try and make this a recurring feature. Feel free to drop a line in the comments if there's something 'hot off the presses' I should check out. I bend to the whims of others with great ease...

UHHHHHGH!

2009-01-12T13:29:00.000-08:00

If you've ever found yourself wondering if perhaps our technology has come a little TOO far, thinking that the Internet is a tool that has allowed human beings to become more lazy, rather than more interconnected and productive. If you're convinced that all would be better if we went back to the days of 8 track players, broadcast television, reel to reel projectors, rotary phones, and automobiles burning leaded gas at six MPG I have found the ultimate proof of why technology is so important, so vital, and makes the current day and age the absolute BEST time in the history of our planet in which to be alive.

From the VSL again, may I present the David Lee Roth Soundboard...

Thank you Al Gore...